ways, she suddenly recalled being told. Maybe she had the wrong ideas about many things, but she suspected that Audubon was more traditional than not.
But when she pulled her gown straps back intoplace and tried to move away, he held her tightly and practically growled at her. “It’s all right. I’m just angry. Hell, not just angry, I’m so damned angry I could strangle Kriloff with my bare hands.”
It wasn’t an idle threat, and she knew it. The compliment of his anger was lost on her as she considered the repulsion in his face and voice. “How many men were there?” he asked.
She froze, disbelieving. “Does it matter?”
He slumped a little, and his voice softened. “No, even one would be too many, considering you had no choice.”
There had been only one boy when she turned twenty-one, a boy her own age, and no one had twisted her arm to make her accept him. But after that she had refused to cooperate, until Pavel came along. And because Pavel was one of the psychologists who worked for Kriloff, she had thought he was off-limits. Falling in love with Pavel—who said he loved her too—was rebellion, she thought, until she learned the truth about him.
She was afraid her explanation wouldn’t make any difference to Audubon. He was looking at her with something she judged to be pity, the last thing she wanted from him.
“It’s not good for us to get so involved, as we did a few minutes ago,” she said as cheerfully as she could, while a huge hollow spot grew inside her. “It will make things more complicated when I leave. I don’t want to remember you as a lover. I probably won’t see you again, so it’s smart we stopped when we did.”
“Yes. I wasn’t thinking when I came up here to see you. I don’t know what’s going on in my mind right now. But I believe you’re right—considering what’s probably going to happen, we shouldn’t let ourselves be foolish.”
She eased away from him, and this time he let her go. “What do you mean, ‘What’s probably going to happen?’ I’m going to get permission to stay in this country, just as soon as Kriloff stops complainingand goes home. Then I’ll be free, like everyone else. That’s what’s going to happen.”
“Yes. That’s what I meant.” He got to his feet and held out a hand. She ignored it and rose by herself, now feeling exposed in the revealing dress. His polite reserve was worse than having strangers study her.
“Good night,” she said, and circled around him to the doors of her suite. He stepped forward and opened one of them for her, and she started to tell him that she hated a gallant gesture with no heart behind it. But her eyes caught the miniature plant on the hallway table she’d used as an exercise bar. It was covered in small, starlike pink flowers where there had been nothing but green leaves before he’d come to visit her.
He followed her line of vision, swiveling his head and freezing when he saw the plant. Elena knotted a fist under her throat to keep a sob in check. “Don’t worry,” she told him, “that won’t happen again.”
His hard, hurt gaze turned to her, and she absorbed it for as long as she could before she stepped inside the suite and shut the door.
Elena quickly realized that Audubon hadn’t told Elgiva or Douglas Kincaid about her unusual powers. She didn’t know why he’d keep it secret from his best friends, whom he obviously trusted, but she was glad he had. She didn’t know how people on the outside—anyone who hadn’t lived at the institute was an ‘outsider’ to her—would react to her talent. Kriloff had always told her she’d be laughed at and disbelieved, but she was learning that very little he had said was true.
Sitting on the low stone wall of an herb garden a short distance from the main house, she darted a glance past Elgiva, who was picking tiny sprigs off the neat patches of fledgling spring plants. Audubon walked out of the house with Douglas, and Elena’s
But when she pulled her gown straps back intoplace and tried to move away, he held her tightly and practically growled at her. “It’s all right. I’m just angry. Hell, not just angry, I’m so damned angry I could strangle Kriloff with my bare hands.”
It wasn’t an idle threat, and she knew it. The compliment of his anger was lost on her as she considered the repulsion in his face and voice. “How many men were there?” he asked.
She froze, disbelieving. “Does it matter?”
He slumped a little, and his voice softened. “No, even one would be too many, considering you had no choice.”
There had been only one boy when she turned twenty-one, a boy her own age, and no one had twisted her arm to make her accept him. But after that she had refused to cooperate, until Pavel came along. And because Pavel was one of the psychologists who worked for Kriloff, she had thought he was off-limits. Falling in love with Pavel—who said he loved her too—was rebellion, she thought, until she learned the truth about him.
She was afraid her explanation wouldn’t make any difference to Audubon. He was looking at her with something she judged to be pity, the last thing she wanted from him.
“It’s not good for us to get so involved, as we did a few minutes ago,” she said as cheerfully as she could, while a huge hollow spot grew inside her. “It will make things more complicated when I leave. I don’t want to remember you as a lover. I probably won’t see you again, so it’s smart we stopped when we did.”
“Yes. I wasn’t thinking when I came up here to see you. I don’t know what’s going on in my mind right now. But I believe you’re right—considering what’s probably going to happen, we shouldn’t let ourselves be foolish.”
She eased away from him, and this time he let her go. “What do you mean, ‘What’s probably going to happen?’ I’m going to get permission to stay in this country, just as soon as Kriloff stops complainingand goes home. Then I’ll be free, like everyone else. That’s what’s going to happen.”
“Yes. That’s what I meant.” He got to his feet and held out a hand. She ignored it and rose by herself, now feeling exposed in the revealing dress. His polite reserve was worse than having strangers study her.
“Good night,” she said, and circled around him to the doors of her suite. He stepped forward and opened one of them for her, and she started to tell him that she hated a gallant gesture with no heart behind it. But her eyes caught the miniature plant on the hallway table she’d used as an exercise bar. It was covered in small, starlike pink flowers where there had been nothing but green leaves before he’d come to visit her.
He followed her line of vision, swiveling his head and freezing when he saw the plant. Elena knotted a fist under her throat to keep a sob in check. “Don’t worry,” she told him, “that won’t happen again.”
His hard, hurt gaze turned to her, and she absorbed it for as long as she could before she stepped inside the suite and shut the door.
Elena quickly realized that Audubon hadn’t told Elgiva or Douglas Kincaid about her unusual powers. She didn’t know why he’d keep it secret from his best friends, whom he obviously trusted, but she was glad he had. She didn’t know how people on the outside—anyone who hadn’t lived at the institute was an ‘outsider’ to her—would react to her talent. Kriloff had always told her she’d be laughed at and disbelieved, but she was learning that very little he had said was true.
Sitting on the low stone wall of an herb garden a short distance from the main house, she darted a glance past Elgiva, who was picking tiny sprigs off the neat patches of fledgling spring plants. Audubon walked out of the house with Douglas, and Elena’s
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