frustrations together.
The beautiful thing about Lama is that she respects her body; you might even say she sanctifies it. Ordinarily she wakes up in the morning to begin a precise regimen of self-care. Her flat is only five minutes from the public garden; every morning she puts on special athletic clothes that make her sweat profusely and heads over there to power-walk for a full hour with one of her neighbors. I don’t quite know where the added benefit is in making her body sweat like that during her walking exercise when she is already sweating in her flat all the time anyway. Once I asked her that very question and she confirmed that they are two completely different kinds of sweating—sweating in the morning while walking has myriad benefits, whereas she continuously cools her body down at home and tries to keep herself from sweating. She also got used to doing Swedish aerobics before coming home and standing in the cold shower. She does a lot of strenuous exercise throughout the day, memorizing a number of exercises and their benefits, all for the benefit of her posture or her stomach or some such thing. Because she has not given birth she still has a shapely and firm body without a hint of sagging or wrinkles.
She used to go swimming once a week year-round. To this day I still accompany her to the swimming pool in the summertime but in the winter she goes to a pool that is for women only and when she comes back she is mellowed out both physically and psychologically. In bed she tells me how when the water touches her skin she longs to be in my arms. Lama’s relationship to water is an intimate one and it’s hard for me to imagine how she would be without water in which to continuously swim or shower. Many times when I went to see her I would walk in and think she was gone. Then I would step into the bathroom and find her sleeping in the tub. She told me the thing that most attracted her to this little flat and made her buy it was the tub in the bathroom.
Let me tell you a little more about how Lama sanctifies her body. She is so scared of getting sick that she convulses and breaks down into tears when a simple discoloration or rash or even a little insignificant wrinkle appears on her body. She loves her beautiful, elegant and healthy body. One time she complained that her right breast felt abnormal and that she needed to go to the doctor. She was so terrified that she made herself ill from her fear of being ill. I don’t know why she was so worried about the existence of a lump in her breast after the doctor had done all the necessary imaging and tests and asked her to give him three days in order to look them over. During those three days she lived an unbearable nightmare, convinced that the results would come back positive. I could never leave her alone during that period since it was possible she would die of anxiety. She was less afraid of death than ofdisfigurement. Her body is worth more to her than her life. On one occasion she made me swear on everything we hold dear that I would help her to die if she ever got sick with a physically disfiguring illness.
Lama takes pride in her body and knows its worth; she spoils it and pleases it and keeps a close watch on it: it is her spoiled child. One day she told me that her parents used to make her take regular equestrian lessons at one of the clubs where she learnt how to ride horses very well. When she fell off the back of her steed without getting a scratch, she got scared of breaking a rib or an arm, even though she refused to give up the club because of her passion for riding. After she saw one of the trainers actually fall and break his leg she stopped riding horses. The flawlessness of Lama’s body means that she has no hang-ups about being naked. A woman gets accustomed to hiding most of her body from the people who are closest to her, including her husband, because of some imperfection or the passing years or exhaustion and atrophy. This is what we
The beautiful thing about Lama is that she respects her body; you might even say she sanctifies it. Ordinarily she wakes up in the morning to begin a precise regimen of self-care. Her flat is only five minutes from the public garden; every morning she puts on special athletic clothes that make her sweat profusely and heads over there to power-walk for a full hour with one of her neighbors. I don’t quite know where the added benefit is in making her body sweat like that during her walking exercise when she is already sweating in her flat all the time anyway. Once I asked her that very question and she confirmed that they are two completely different kinds of sweating—sweating in the morning while walking has myriad benefits, whereas she continuously cools her body down at home and tries to keep herself from sweating. She also got used to doing Swedish aerobics before coming home and standing in the cold shower. She does a lot of strenuous exercise throughout the day, memorizing a number of exercises and their benefits, all for the benefit of her posture or her stomach or some such thing. Because she has not given birth she still has a shapely and firm body without a hint of sagging or wrinkles.
She used to go swimming once a week year-round. To this day I still accompany her to the swimming pool in the summertime but in the winter she goes to a pool that is for women only and when she comes back she is mellowed out both physically and psychologically. In bed she tells me how when the water touches her skin she longs to be in my arms. Lama’s relationship to water is an intimate one and it’s hard for me to imagine how she would be without water in which to continuously swim or shower. Many times when I went to see her I would walk in and think she was gone. Then I would step into the bathroom and find her sleeping in the tub. She told me the thing that most attracted her to this little flat and made her buy it was the tub in the bathroom.
Let me tell you a little more about how Lama sanctifies her body. She is so scared of getting sick that she convulses and breaks down into tears when a simple discoloration or rash or even a little insignificant wrinkle appears on her body. She loves her beautiful, elegant and healthy body. One time she complained that her right breast felt abnormal and that she needed to go to the doctor. She was so terrified that she made herself ill from her fear of being ill. I don’t know why she was so worried about the existence of a lump in her breast after the doctor had done all the necessary imaging and tests and asked her to give him three days in order to look them over. During those three days she lived an unbearable nightmare, convinced that the results would come back positive. I could never leave her alone during that period since it was possible she would die of anxiety. She was less afraid of death than ofdisfigurement. Her body is worth more to her than her life. On one occasion she made me swear on everything we hold dear that I would help her to die if she ever got sick with a physically disfiguring illness.
Lama takes pride in her body and knows its worth; she spoils it and pleases it and keeps a close watch on it: it is her spoiled child. One day she told me that her parents used to make her take regular equestrian lessons at one of the clubs where she learnt how to ride horses very well. When she fell off the back of her steed without getting a scratch, she got scared of breaking a rib or an arm, even though she refused to give up the club because of her passion for riding. After she saw one of the trainers actually fall and break his leg she stopped riding horses. The flawlessness of Lama’s body means that she has no hang-ups about being naked. A woman gets accustomed to hiding most of her body from the people who are closest to her, including her husband, because of some imperfection or the passing years or exhaustion and atrophy. This is what we
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