that his sister, a.k.a. my mother, Angel, would even notice, though she had spied on me magically in the past, but why was anyone’s guess. She wasn’t just loopy,
but seemed to have the mental age of a five-year-old, so I doubted she even knew I was her daughter. Hell, I hadn’t even known she was my mother until I’d met her for only the second
time three months ago. Until then I’d believed my mother died at my birth— all of which was something my head, never mind my heart, was still coming to terms with.
And as for Angel’s goddess hitch-hiker, The Mother, well no way could I predict how she’d feel; it wasn’t like she’d been overly concerned about me in the past other than
to dump me with a problem she couldn’t be bothered to solve herself. Though Mad Max knew them better, so if he thought they’d be ‘a tad upset’, I was happy to go along with
him. On that, anyway.
‘Then there’s the Turk’ – he gave a dramatic shudder – ‘I’d have to be insane and suicidal to get on the wrong side of the great and powerful Malik
al-Khan. Oh, and let’s not forget His Royal Brattiness—’
‘The Autarch’s not coming here!’ I interrupted as a spurt of panic overcame the spell’s calm.
Mad Max waved a dismissive hand. ‘Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, Cousin. It isn’t worth sticking my head above the parapet to tell him about your little problems. He
enjoys eviscerating the messengers too much.’ He cocked a finger and mimed shooting himself in the head. ‘So, unluckily for you, Cousin, you’re doomed never to know the
magnificence that is my love wand.’
Relief flooded through me. Not that his self-serving restraint was going to stop me removing his love wand and shoving it, along with the rest of him, where the sun
did
shine, given
half a chance.
‘Now, of course, you’re probably also wondering why we’re having ourselves a little bondage party here.’ He flashed a fang-filled grin. ‘I must admit I was too, for
a while, since it’s unheard of for me to be so altruistic. But then I convinced myself that having everyone find out I’ve got more than one crazy relative was going to reflect
particularly badly on me.’
And they say chivalry is dead.
‘So I magnanimously opted to save you from beating around your own bush until some poor unsuspecting human stumbled into your Glamour.’
The suspicious part of me wondered exactly how and why he’d been oh, so conveniently on hand to
save
me, but that thought was eclipsed by the horror of what could have happened.
Humans can’t survive full-on sex with a sidhe outside of the Fair Lands. If a human had found me, I’d probably have fucked them to death.
‘I’m sure you can think of a suitable way to thank me later, Cousin,’ Mad Max said, a smug smirk on his face. ‘But I can’t always be waiting around to clear up your
nasty little messes, so this lesson is by way of a heads up.’ He leaned forward in the chair. ‘So, listen carefully.’
I snorted. ‘It’s not like I’ve got any choice.’
‘Good-oh!’ He wagged an admonishing finger at me. ‘Living like a nun while shacking up with a Fertility spell isn’t the best lifestyle choice for a sidhe fae.’
I wasn’t shacking up with a Fertility spell, exactly. I was living with Sylvia, my friend who was pregnant. And Sylvia was wearing the sapphire pendant with the fae’s trapped
fertility that had made that pregnancy possible. She and her partner, Ricou, had moved in with me after the ToLA case, due to their families arguing about where they should live; my flat was
apparently nominated neutral territory. I hadn’t been too thrilled having new flatmates to begin with, but it had turned out to be fun, though evidently the fertility magic in the pendant had
been having its own fun without any of us knowing— if I was to believe Mad Max.
‘Are you saying the pendant is’ – I eyed him mistrustfully – ‘spreading its magic around, or
but seemed to have the mental age of a five-year-old, so I doubted she even knew I was her daughter. Hell, I hadn’t even known she was my mother until I’d met her for only the second
time three months ago. Until then I’d believed my mother died at my birth— all of which was something my head, never mind my heart, was still coming to terms with.
And as for Angel’s goddess hitch-hiker, The Mother, well no way could I predict how she’d feel; it wasn’t like she’d been overly concerned about me in the past other than
to dump me with a problem she couldn’t be bothered to solve herself. Though Mad Max knew them better, so if he thought they’d be ‘a tad upset’, I was happy to go along with
him. On that, anyway.
‘Then there’s the Turk’ – he gave a dramatic shudder – ‘I’d have to be insane and suicidal to get on the wrong side of the great and powerful Malik
al-Khan. Oh, and let’s not forget His Royal Brattiness—’
‘The Autarch’s not coming here!’ I interrupted as a spurt of panic overcame the spell’s calm.
Mad Max waved a dismissive hand. ‘Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, Cousin. It isn’t worth sticking my head above the parapet to tell him about your little problems. He
enjoys eviscerating the messengers too much.’ He cocked a finger and mimed shooting himself in the head. ‘So, unluckily for you, Cousin, you’re doomed never to know the
magnificence that is my love wand.’
Relief flooded through me. Not that his self-serving restraint was going to stop me removing his love wand and shoving it, along with the rest of him, where the sun
did
shine, given
half a chance.
‘Now, of course, you’re probably also wondering why we’re having ourselves a little bondage party here.’ He flashed a fang-filled grin. ‘I must admit I was too, for
a while, since it’s unheard of for me to be so altruistic. But then I convinced myself that having everyone find out I’ve got more than one crazy relative was going to reflect
particularly badly on me.’
And they say chivalry is dead.
‘So I magnanimously opted to save you from beating around your own bush until some poor unsuspecting human stumbled into your Glamour.’
The suspicious part of me wondered exactly how and why he’d been oh, so conveniently on hand to
save
me, but that thought was eclipsed by the horror of what could have happened.
Humans can’t survive full-on sex with a sidhe outside of the Fair Lands. If a human had found me, I’d probably have fucked them to death.
‘I’m sure you can think of a suitable way to thank me later, Cousin,’ Mad Max said, a smug smirk on his face. ‘But I can’t always be waiting around to clear up your
nasty little messes, so this lesson is by way of a heads up.’ He leaned forward in the chair. ‘So, listen carefully.’
I snorted. ‘It’s not like I’ve got any choice.’
‘Good-oh!’ He wagged an admonishing finger at me. ‘Living like a nun while shacking up with a Fertility spell isn’t the best lifestyle choice for a sidhe fae.’
I wasn’t shacking up with a Fertility spell, exactly. I was living with Sylvia, my friend who was pregnant. And Sylvia was wearing the sapphire pendant with the fae’s trapped
fertility that had made that pregnancy possible. She and her partner, Ricou, had moved in with me after the ToLA case, due to their families arguing about where they should live; my flat was
apparently nominated neutral territory. I hadn’t been too thrilled having new flatmates to begin with, but it had turned out to be fun, though evidently the fertility magic in the pendant had
been having its own fun without any of us knowing— if I was to believe Mad Max.
‘Are you saying the pendant is’ – I eyed him mistrustfully – ‘spreading its magic around, or
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