AGREE. I'LL TRADE.
Who will it be?
CAN'T TELL WITH THESE THINGS... I MAY CHANGE MY MIND.
... I thought so.
L
April 2, 1987
Diary,
I need coke, bad, or I'll never make it.
I gotta reach Bobby. Where the fuck is he when I need him! This is just great. I'm here, Laura Palmer, honor student, model citizen of Twin Peaks... and I've got a habit I've only just begun.
I'm not ready for this job... I'm still afraid BOB's waiting.
If he's in the woods he'll get me now, 'cause fuck if I don't plan on having a big fat line of confidence up my nose in about half an hour. A big white line that calls my name the way a lover should. I wish BOB would trade. If he does I'll try and find the person and tell them to beware
OF THE MAN WHO CAN SLIP MAYBE IN AND OUT OF YOU LIKE A WIND THAT GOES UNNOTICED, THEN CREEPS UP ON YOU AND SHOVES A FIST INTO THE WOMAN SPACE YOU SEEM TO HAVE FALLEN SO IN LOVE WITH, LAURA PALMER... YOU SHOULDN'T WISH FOR THINGS... YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT.
REMEMBER, LAURA PALMER, I CAN MANIPULATE YOUR CONSCIENCE SO THAT YOU FEEL NOTHING BUT WHAT I CHOOSE FOR YOU TO FEEL. DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE DYING, LAURA PALMER... DON'T YOU JUST FEEL LIKE GIVING IN TO ME AGAIN. TAKE ME BACK AND I WONT CAUSE A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT LATER TODAY. IF SOMEONE GETS HURT, YOU CAN SMILE KNOWING IT'S ALL DUE TO YOU. SELFISH, DRUG ADDICT, LESBIAN!
Fuck you!
Maybe if I just get to Leo's for some coke, I can get my shit together and earn my freedom back. My privacy of thought, all of it. I'm taking it back. It belongs to me. I just need some coke... I need a ride out of here... fuck it, I'll walk. I'll just get up walk downstairs and out the front door like nothing is wrong. I'll get some coke and everything will be better. I will be able to think. I'll just walk to Leo's and everything will be fine.
I'll bring you with me, Diary -
Laura
April 2, 1987
Dear Diary,
Leo had company of the female persuasion, and they were unable to get to the door.
Oh, God... money... shit! Maybe he'll front the coke to me, and I can pay him later, or... wait, he's coming out of the house.
Talk soon, L
Leo will be fair about the coke money, I hope I hope I hope.
April 2, 1987
Back, and happy at Leo's:
He's got it, and it's good. He just set me up with a noseload. and my head is starting to sort through the mental files again.. feel the blood in my veins... I told Leo I wasn't like this weird addict, but I just haven't slept in so long... Wait!
BOB is gone. I can't feel him around. Maybe it's because I'm high. Maybe I'm crazy and I made him up... No, fuck that. I'm crazy if I believe he's only in my imagination... he's real. I know he's real. I do. I couldn't and wouldn't create something as evil as the man I speak of.
I am beginning to truly become what BOB told me I would. A fallen girl, misused, mistrusted, lost, loves sex and drugs because they are always there, making me feel the high I expect... no surprises. Can't you see you're killing me, BOB? Is that the point?
I miss the days only a year or so ago when I could hardly remember a thing... I just knew somehow that on certain nights I came home, cried a lot, and hid behind the bathroom door, ashamed. I remember what you said to me, you shit! I remember! I know you cut me when I was very young, several times, and you told me that I was in big trouble because I had bled. You told me good children don't bleed down their legs. You told me I was not a child of God! Was there anything you chose to allow me to feel normal about! I grew up with you always there, showing me evidence of my evil blood and nature. You were that voice... you son of a bitch.
Leo needs to see me about money... I hope this transaction goes smoothly, painlessly, and silently. I told Leo that if Bobby shows up, I need to hear from him right away.
We've got to find another dealer just for tonight... I got the last of the pure, except for Leo's personal stash, and that's just what the name says.
Who will it be?
CAN'T TELL WITH THESE THINGS... I MAY CHANGE MY MIND.
... I thought so.
L
April 2, 1987
Diary,
I need coke, bad, or I'll never make it.
I gotta reach Bobby. Where the fuck is he when I need him! This is just great. I'm here, Laura Palmer, honor student, model citizen of Twin Peaks... and I've got a habit I've only just begun.
I'm not ready for this job... I'm still afraid BOB's waiting.
If he's in the woods he'll get me now, 'cause fuck if I don't plan on having a big fat line of confidence up my nose in about half an hour. A big white line that calls my name the way a lover should. I wish BOB would trade. If he does I'll try and find the person and tell them to beware
OF THE MAN WHO CAN SLIP MAYBE IN AND OUT OF YOU LIKE A WIND THAT GOES UNNOTICED, THEN CREEPS UP ON YOU AND SHOVES A FIST INTO THE WOMAN SPACE YOU SEEM TO HAVE FALLEN SO IN LOVE WITH, LAURA PALMER... YOU SHOULDN'T WISH FOR THINGS... YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT.
REMEMBER, LAURA PALMER, I CAN MANIPULATE YOUR CONSCIENCE SO THAT YOU FEEL NOTHING BUT WHAT I CHOOSE FOR YOU TO FEEL. DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE DYING, LAURA PALMER... DON'T YOU JUST FEEL LIKE GIVING IN TO ME AGAIN. TAKE ME BACK AND I WONT CAUSE A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT LATER TODAY. IF SOMEONE GETS HURT, YOU CAN SMILE KNOWING IT'S ALL DUE TO YOU. SELFISH, DRUG ADDICT, LESBIAN!
Fuck you!
Maybe if I just get to Leo's for some coke, I can get my shit together and earn my freedom back. My privacy of thought, all of it. I'm taking it back. It belongs to me. I just need some coke... I need a ride out of here... fuck it, I'll walk. I'll just get up walk downstairs and out the front door like nothing is wrong. I'll get some coke and everything will be better. I will be able to think. I'll just walk to Leo's and everything will be fine.
I'll bring you with me, Diary -
Laura
April 2, 1987
Dear Diary,
Leo had company of the female persuasion, and they were unable to get to the door.
Oh, God... money... shit! Maybe he'll front the coke to me, and I can pay him later, or... wait, he's coming out of the house.
Talk soon, L
Leo will be fair about the coke money, I hope I hope I hope.
April 2, 1987
Back, and happy at Leo's:
He's got it, and it's good. He just set me up with a noseload. and my head is starting to sort through the mental files again.. feel the blood in my veins... I told Leo I wasn't like this weird addict, but I just haven't slept in so long... Wait!
BOB is gone. I can't feel him around. Maybe it's because I'm high. Maybe I'm crazy and I made him up... No, fuck that. I'm crazy if I believe he's only in my imagination... he's real. I know he's real. I do. I couldn't and wouldn't create something as evil as the man I speak of.
I am beginning to truly become what BOB told me I would. A fallen girl, misused, mistrusted, lost, loves sex and drugs because they are always there, making me feel the high I expect... no surprises. Can't you see you're killing me, BOB? Is that the point?
I miss the days only a year or so ago when I could hardly remember a thing... I just knew somehow that on certain nights I came home, cried a lot, and hid behind the bathroom door, ashamed. I remember what you said to me, you shit! I remember! I know you cut me when I was very young, several times, and you told me that I was in big trouble because I had bled. You told me good children don't bleed down their legs. You told me I was not a child of God! Was there anything you chose to allow me to feel normal about! I grew up with you always there, showing me evidence of my evil blood and nature. You were that voice... you son of a bitch.
Leo needs to see me about money... I hope this transaction goes smoothly, painlessly, and silently. I told Leo that if Bobby shows up, I need to hear from him right away.
We've got to find another dealer just for tonight... I got the last of the pure, except for Leo's personal stash, and that's just what the name says.
Similar Books
