The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens by Courtney Kelley : Turk Ashley; Turk Juergens Page B
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Mom was about starting her new life without Dad. At least I was until she opened the garage door and there he was, lounging on a recent couch sale item and watching TV .
HE MOVED INTO THE GARAGE !
This is great! He can give Mom her space but still be around for us. I mentioned before how I wanted to move into the garage. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. My dad’s a genius. Birds of a feather flock to the garage, I guess. I wish I could say Mom was as happy as I was. She didn’t like Dad taking over the garage as his proverbial doghouse. Amy had to reach over and physically remove the keys from the ignition so Mom wouldn’t park the car on top of Dad and his new digs.
Dad used to set up our camping tent in the backyard when he and Mom needed a break. He would call it a “marriage vacation.” Unfortunately, the tent was blown away one windy morning while Dad was inside brushing his teeth. I’m sure if the tent was still around Mom would have returned home and been unpleasantly surprised the next time she walked out in the backyard to do her gardening.
My dad took a break from watching TV so he and Mom could fight in the kitchen. I was actually glad they were fighting because it was a lot easier for us to get ready and leave for the wedding unnoticed. I’m not one hundred percent positive what the fight was about, but I did hear the words “money,” “garage,” and “urinal.”
6:02 P.M.
When we arrived at the church, I was a little surprised. Particularly because I didn’t see any church. I thought we pulled over because we ran out of gas or something. I never even knew this chapel was here. You know what? I don’t think I wanted to know. I kept looking at Amy to see if she was getting cold feet, but she didn’t look nervous at all. She was actually really calm, the calmest I’ve ever seen her. So was Ben. On the car ride over they kept looking at each other and smiling. Ben’s driver kept smiling at me in the rearview mirror, as if to say, “I told you so.” Henry kept smiling at me, too. I smiled at no one.
Albertson’s Wedding Chapel is something to behold. I was pretty disappointed. Ben is the son of the Sausage King so I thought he would at least try to step it up a little bit. I know that making a commitment to someone else is supposed to be the only thing that matters, but this place looked like a cheap knockoff of the lowest-priced drive-through chapel in Vegas, except there was no Elvis to officiate. Elvis would have been an upgrade. It looked like one of Amy’s original diary poems exploded in here. Henry told me the place wasn’t as beautiful as I was and well, I should hope so. Even on my worst day I would hope so.
The “minister,” or Albert as he’s known here at Albertson’s, thought I was Amy at first. Since I must have looked pregnant to him, passing for eighteen wasn’t a problem. I still couldn’t believe how far we were getting using these fake ID s.
Amy and I looked at each other and smiled before she walked down the aisle with Ben. I remembered when Amy used to fantasize about her dream wedding: her and Brad Pitt getting married on the beach in Hawaii. Ben’s no Brad Pitt in the looks department, but he seems like a good guy. He’s treated Amy well so far. And I have to say even though we were in a chapel that looked like it was decorated by the love child of Tacky and Kitsch, Amy seemed very happy and the moment was genuinely touching. So touching and lovely I didn’t want to tell her there was no way this wedding was legal, since all of us are under eighteen, fake ID s or not.
Amy was surprised as she walked down the aisle to see a bunch of her friends had shown up uninvited. Lauren and Madison came in bridesmaid dresses, even though Amy didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids. Typical. Adrian was there wearing something that shouldn’t ever be worn in a church, so it’s a good thing Albertson’s is only a fake chapel. Henry’s ex-girlfriend
HE MOVED INTO THE GARAGE !
This is great! He can give Mom her space but still be around for us. I mentioned before how I wanted to move into the garage. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. My dad’s a genius. Birds of a feather flock to the garage, I guess. I wish I could say Mom was as happy as I was. She didn’t like Dad taking over the garage as his proverbial doghouse. Amy had to reach over and physically remove the keys from the ignition so Mom wouldn’t park the car on top of Dad and his new digs.
Dad used to set up our camping tent in the backyard when he and Mom needed a break. He would call it a “marriage vacation.” Unfortunately, the tent was blown away one windy morning while Dad was inside brushing his teeth. I’m sure if the tent was still around Mom would have returned home and been unpleasantly surprised the next time she walked out in the backyard to do her gardening.
My dad took a break from watching TV so he and Mom could fight in the kitchen. I was actually glad they were fighting because it was a lot easier for us to get ready and leave for the wedding unnoticed. I’m not one hundred percent positive what the fight was about, but I did hear the words “money,” “garage,” and “urinal.”
6:02 P.M.
When we arrived at the church, I was a little surprised. Particularly because I didn’t see any church. I thought we pulled over because we ran out of gas or something. I never even knew this chapel was here. You know what? I don’t think I wanted to know. I kept looking at Amy to see if she was getting cold feet, but she didn’t look nervous at all. She was actually really calm, the calmest I’ve ever seen her. So was Ben. On the car ride over they kept looking at each other and smiling. Ben’s driver kept smiling at me in the rearview mirror, as if to say, “I told you so.” Henry kept smiling at me, too. I smiled at no one.
Albertson’s Wedding Chapel is something to behold. I was pretty disappointed. Ben is the son of the Sausage King so I thought he would at least try to step it up a little bit. I know that making a commitment to someone else is supposed to be the only thing that matters, but this place looked like a cheap knockoff of the lowest-priced drive-through chapel in Vegas, except there was no Elvis to officiate. Elvis would have been an upgrade. It looked like one of Amy’s original diary poems exploded in here. Henry told me the place wasn’t as beautiful as I was and well, I should hope so. Even on my worst day I would hope so.
The “minister,” or Albert as he’s known here at Albertson’s, thought I was Amy at first. Since I must have looked pregnant to him, passing for eighteen wasn’t a problem. I still couldn’t believe how far we were getting using these fake ID s.
Amy and I looked at each other and smiled before she walked down the aisle with Ben. I remembered when Amy used to fantasize about her dream wedding: her and Brad Pitt getting married on the beach in Hawaii. Ben’s no Brad Pitt in the looks department, but he seems like a good guy. He’s treated Amy well so far. And I have to say even though we were in a chapel that looked like it was decorated by the love child of Tacky and Kitsch, Amy seemed very happy and the moment was genuinely touching. So touching and lovely I didn’t want to tell her there was no way this wedding was legal, since all of us are under eighteen, fake ID s or not.
Amy was surprised as she walked down the aisle to see a bunch of her friends had shown up uninvited. Lauren and Madison came in bridesmaid dresses, even though Amy didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids. Typical. Adrian was there wearing something that shouldn’t ever be worn in a church, so it’s a good thing Albertson’s is only a fake chapel. Henry’s ex-girlfriend
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