The Secret Diary of a Princess a novel of Marie Antoinette by Melanie Clegg Page B

breath in shock. 'Or have a baby? That is what the maids do when they want to marry someone and their parents won't allow it.'

    Amalia stopped brushing and burst out laughing. 'Carlotta! You really must stop eavesdropping on the servants!' She looked at me, as I sat in the corner hoping that they would forget my presence and not order me away. 'Do not pay any attention, Antonia!' she admonished, waving the brush at me.

    'Well, why not do it?' Carolina asked, more boldly now. Clearly her status as an almost married lady was going to her head. 'I am sure that Karl would be only too happy to oblige you.'  

    'Really, Carolina, you have been quite preposterous ever since Mama told you all about what goes on between men and women,' Amalia said, neatly evading the issue at hand. 'I do hope that you haven't imparted your new found wisdom to Antonia.'

    'She would not tell me,' I interposed, unable to hide the note of disappointment in my voice.  

    They both started laughing at this and the rest of the preparations went on very happily indeed and just as they should, even if the groom was far away in Naples and we all knew that our brother Joseph would have to say his vows for him in the ceremony itself. It seems very odd, I know, but that is how things are done here and so, giggling, we went along with it with even Joseph laughing a little at the sillyness of the situation as he knelt beside his sister in front of the archbishop, took her plump, white hand in his and promised her all of his worldly goods.

    'Do you really , Joseph?' I heard Carolina whisper with a soft laugh.

    And then it was all over and Carolina was married and Queen of Naples and oh, it is very odd. I can hardly bring myself to look at her now as she already seems so different and not at all the sister that I have known and loved for all of my life.

    Friday, 8 th April.
    Carolina came to my room late last night and climbed into bed with me. I rolled over and hugged her close as she cried in my arms. She leaves tomorrow.

    We have always been together. How will I cope without her?

    Saturday, 9 th April, late, it is so quiet.
    Carolina set out on her long, long journey to Naples early this morning. The cavalcade was quite superb and Mama had provided a new green painted carriage for Carolina's entrance into her new country, although Amalia says that it will hardly look as splendid at the end of the journey as it does at the very beginning.

    All of her new clothes and shoes and gloves and stockings and jewels were packed up in enormous red leather covered trunks, with sprigs of rosemary and lavender and rose petals between the soft folds and then they were piled inside and on top of dozens of carriages and carts, which will follow my sister to her new home.

    I went to her room early and after I had helped her maids dress her in her new pink velvet traveling dress with its matching, very jaunty little hat we sat for a long time on the edge of her bed and hugged before Joseph softly knocked on the door to let her know that they were ready to set off.  

    'Do not cry,' Carolina said gaily, wiping away my tears with one gloved finger. 'I will write as often as I can and you must promise to come and visit me as soon as you are able.' She embraced me again and we wept together for a moment. 'Oh, Antonia, I do not think that I can bear it!' she cried. 'I am afraid that my heart is going to break. We have never had to be apart before and now I am very much afraid that I will never see you again.'

    Joseph sighed. 'They are waiting for you, Carlotta' he said as gently as he could and even I could see that he was greatly moved by our tears. She is the first sister that he has had to send far away to be married and will most likely not be the last. Our family is breaking up and we all feel it deeply.

    Carolina gave me another kiss and then pulled away. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and pinned a bright smile on to her face, well aware that the