family.
The days dragged by. With each group of men entering through the town gate, she would stand at the window in her room and search for any sign of John. When the Norman men came into the Great Hall, she would stand close by, listening for any word of him as they talked amongst themselves. She could understand their language better than she could speak it, but much of what they said never made sense. She listened just for his name. There was nothing. She was convinced he would not retur n.
Alone in the garden, the bright sun bleached the scene into colorless drabness. Butterflies flitted by, creating dark shadows against the bushes. Where she had once seen only the peace and beauty of the surrounding, she now saw a vast space of emptiness.
"My lady?"
She startled at the sound, turned and found Arthur standing where the cypress had once been, the dirt around him raw and exposed. With his head uncovered, his thick red hair resting on his shoulder, he looked hopeful. Rowena wondered what news could leave such a happy countenance on the man. The last time she had seen him, she had been contemplating turning against her vows and accepting a long overdue overture of love. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for whatever he was about to say.
"Yes, Arthur?"
"I have come to bid you goodbye."
Tipping her head, she considered why he would appear so happy about leaving her if he truly was in love with her. Waiting, he offered no additional explanation. She finally broke the heavy silence. "I do not understand."
"I have orders to head north at once."
"These orders are from my husband, then?" She didn't miss his disappointment at her question. He knew how she felt about her husband. Arthur had tried long and hard to distract her from him.
When she let him into her room that morning, she went willingly into his arms and found them lacking. She felt nothing, no passion, no desire. Her desire was for her husband alone, which was shocking to her as well.
The memory of his soft hand caressing her and his lips against her own brought to her again the repulsion she had experienced at Arthur's touch. He had seen it, too. His face had distorted into a mask of rage when he left her that morning. She had never even seen him angry before that.
"No, my lady." He spoke through clenched teeth. "They are the king’s orders."
"I see." She cast her eyes down to spare him her own feelings of disappointment. Word, any word, from her husband would have been welcome at this time.
"I leave immediately." He held his head proudly, and Rowena felt great sympathy for him. She had hurt him so badly but had not meant to. She took a step toward him and made to reach out to him, but when he stiffened, she dropped her hand to her side. No, he did not want her touch now. "I am sorry, Arthur."
He closed his eyes in distress, struggling with himself. His emotions in check, he finally met her gaze. "I came only to bid you goodbye, my lady."
He turned away from her, strode to the garden gate and was gone.
"Good bye, my friend." She said the words on a whisper, and the bushes rustled with the breeze in answer.
The sweet smell of the late summer flowers wafted up to her. She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around herself. Despite attempts to keep busy with the garden, helping in the kitchen, maintaining the stores, and keeping an inventory of her holdings, she knew the loneliness would not be filled. Wallowing would help nothing. If she was to be alone, she needed to be strong. She just did not want to be alone.
To add to her loneliness, the Lady Katherine came to call not long after John's departure. Her childhood friend came yearly for a visit. She brought news to Rowena of all her womanly accomplishments from her betrothal to one of the only remaining Saxons to the intimate details of married life.
Giles had somehow found favor with the new king and been allowed to keep his titles and his lands. He was a powerful Saxon accepted into the
The days dragged by. With each group of men entering through the town gate, she would stand at the window in her room and search for any sign of John. When the Norman men came into the Great Hall, she would stand close by, listening for any word of him as they talked amongst themselves. She could understand their language better than she could speak it, but much of what they said never made sense. She listened just for his name. There was nothing. She was convinced he would not retur n.
Alone in the garden, the bright sun bleached the scene into colorless drabness. Butterflies flitted by, creating dark shadows against the bushes. Where she had once seen only the peace and beauty of the surrounding, she now saw a vast space of emptiness.
"My lady?"
She startled at the sound, turned and found Arthur standing where the cypress had once been, the dirt around him raw and exposed. With his head uncovered, his thick red hair resting on his shoulder, he looked hopeful. Rowena wondered what news could leave such a happy countenance on the man. The last time she had seen him, she had been contemplating turning against her vows and accepting a long overdue overture of love. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for whatever he was about to say.
"Yes, Arthur?"
"I have come to bid you goodbye."
Tipping her head, she considered why he would appear so happy about leaving her if he truly was in love with her. Waiting, he offered no additional explanation. She finally broke the heavy silence. "I do not understand."
"I have orders to head north at once."
"These orders are from my husband, then?" She didn't miss his disappointment at her question. He knew how she felt about her husband. Arthur had tried long and hard to distract her from him.
When she let him into her room that morning, she went willingly into his arms and found them lacking. She felt nothing, no passion, no desire. Her desire was for her husband alone, which was shocking to her as well.
The memory of his soft hand caressing her and his lips against her own brought to her again the repulsion she had experienced at Arthur's touch. He had seen it, too. His face had distorted into a mask of rage when he left her that morning. She had never even seen him angry before that.
"No, my lady." He spoke through clenched teeth. "They are the king’s orders."
"I see." She cast her eyes down to spare him her own feelings of disappointment. Word, any word, from her husband would have been welcome at this time.
"I leave immediately." He held his head proudly, and Rowena felt great sympathy for him. She had hurt him so badly but had not meant to. She took a step toward him and made to reach out to him, but when he stiffened, she dropped her hand to her side. No, he did not want her touch now. "I am sorry, Arthur."
He closed his eyes in distress, struggling with himself. His emotions in check, he finally met her gaze. "I came only to bid you goodbye, my lady."
He turned away from her, strode to the garden gate and was gone.
"Good bye, my friend." She said the words on a whisper, and the bushes rustled with the breeze in answer.
The sweet smell of the late summer flowers wafted up to her. She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around herself. Despite attempts to keep busy with the garden, helping in the kitchen, maintaining the stores, and keeping an inventory of her holdings, she knew the loneliness would not be filled. Wallowing would help nothing. If she was to be alone, she needed to be strong. She just did not want to be alone.
To add to her loneliness, the Lady Katherine came to call not long after John's departure. Her childhood friend came yearly for a visit. She brought news to Rowena of all her womanly accomplishments from her betrothal to one of the only remaining Saxons to the intimate details of married life.
Giles had somehow found favor with the new king and been allowed to keep his titles and his lands. He was a powerful Saxon accepted into the
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