strangers.”
“You think you aren’t strangers?”
squawked Mr. Way. “You think one of you is my stooge? I’d really hate
to have such a dishonest mind as to even think that. Or to be such a bad
loser as to say it. But don’t make any cracks about backing down until we see
who’s doing it. You want to try this again twice more, or two hundred times,
I’ll give you the same odds.”
“There aren’t that many people
here—”
“Then we go out and ask any six guys in
the street. And you pick ‘em. Or easier still, we send out to the office
for something like Who’s Who— they must have a copy in a joint like this.
You name any six names, so long as they aren’t your ancestors.
Or shut your eyes and pick ‘em with a pin. Just show me the color
of your money first!”
The debate progressed without any diminution
of tem perature towards the next inevitable showdown.
“If I’d known bars were such fun,”
Hilda said, “I’d have lied about my age long before this.”
“You probably did, anyhow,” said
her father tolerantly. “Only you were afraid to try it on the
fancy places, which are much less willing to be fooled than certain others,
I’m told.”
“I wonder who told you.”
The Saint grinned.
“I must hear more about this,
George,” he murmured. “Some time when the child isn’t fanning
us with its big shell- pink ears. Right now, I honestly hate to
drink and run, but we’re stuck with the program I sold her. At this hour,
it’ll be mostly a crawl down to the very end of the Beach for Joe’s
immortal stone crabs. And from there, it’s another long haul over
to Coral Gables and this show she wanted to see. Until the millennium
when it dawns on theatrical producers that an eight-fifteen curtain is the
ideal time to ensure a hostile and dyspeptic reception from anyone
who also likes a nice peaceful dinner—”
“Don’t worry about me, my boy,”
said Mr. Mason expansively. “I shall stay here for a little while and
improve my education.”
“Just don’t pay any padded tuition
fees,” said the Saint frivolously.
It was not until after he had ordered their
stone crabs at Joe’s, with a bottle of Willm Gewurtztraminer, and they
were toying with cigarettes and Dry Sack while they waited, that he realized
that he might have been a little too flippant.
“I only hope Papa doesn’t get into
anything silly,” Hilda said.
“Is he likely to?” asked the Saint.
“He seems a long way from being senile, to me.”
“He does like a little gamble, though.
And he can’t forget that he was an insurance company statistician for thirty
years. Of course that’s only a glorified kind of bookkeeping, but he sometimes
thinks it makes him an authority on anything to do with figures. He
might have a hard time staying out of that argument in the
bar.”
“That shouldn’t get him in any serious
trouble… . Well, I admit I hadn’t thought of it that way. It
sounded like a typical barroom argument, with nobody really knowing the score. They
were all talking through their hats, I may tell, you. Let’s find out what the
odds really are.”
He turned a menu over, took out a ball-point
pen, and began jotting.
“Do you really know how to work it
out?” she asked.
“I don’t let on to everyone, but I had
one of those dreary old out-dated educations. Lots of gruesomely hard study, and no
credits at all for football, fretwork, or folk dancing. But I think
I can figure it the text-book way.”
“You’ll have to tell me. I even flunked
Domestic Science.”
“They must have tested you in the wrong
domicile. But this is how you have to look at it. The first guy can be
born in any month, as somebody said. When were you born?”
“April.”
“Okay. Then the second guy has eleven
months to choose from, that’ll lose for Loud Mouth back there.”
“That sounds right.”
“So the second guy was born in May. Now
up comes the third guy. He has two months to dodge, out of twelve. On any of
“You think you aren’t strangers?”
squawked Mr. Way. “You think one of you is my stooge? I’d really hate
to have such a dishonest mind as to even think that. Or to be such a bad
loser as to say it. But don’t make any cracks about backing down until we see
who’s doing it. You want to try this again twice more, or two hundred times,
I’ll give you the same odds.”
“There aren’t that many people
here—”
“Then we go out and ask any six guys in
the street. And you pick ‘em. Or easier still, we send out to the office
for something like Who’s Who— they must have a copy in a joint like this.
You name any six names, so long as they aren’t your ancestors.
Or shut your eyes and pick ‘em with a pin. Just show me the color
of your money first!”
The debate progressed without any diminution
of tem perature towards the next inevitable showdown.
“If I’d known bars were such fun,”
Hilda said, “I’d have lied about my age long before this.”
“You probably did, anyhow,” said
her father tolerantly. “Only you were afraid to try it on the
fancy places, which are much less willing to be fooled than certain others,
I’m told.”
“I wonder who told you.”
The Saint grinned.
“I must hear more about this,
George,” he murmured. “Some time when the child isn’t fanning
us with its big shell- pink ears. Right now, I honestly hate to
drink and run, but we’re stuck with the program I sold her. At this hour,
it’ll be mostly a crawl down to the very end of the Beach for Joe’s
immortal stone crabs. And from there, it’s another long haul over
to Coral Gables and this show she wanted to see. Until the millennium
when it dawns on theatrical producers that an eight-fifteen curtain is the
ideal time to ensure a hostile and dyspeptic reception from anyone
who also likes a nice peaceful dinner—”
“Don’t worry about me, my boy,”
said Mr. Mason expansively. “I shall stay here for a little while and
improve my education.”
“Just don’t pay any padded tuition
fees,” said the Saint frivolously.
It was not until after he had ordered their
stone crabs at Joe’s, with a bottle of Willm Gewurtztraminer, and they
were toying with cigarettes and Dry Sack while they waited, that he realized
that he might have been a little too flippant.
“I only hope Papa doesn’t get into
anything silly,” Hilda said.
“Is he likely to?” asked the Saint.
“He seems a long way from being senile, to me.”
“He does like a little gamble, though.
And he can’t forget that he was an insurance company statistician for thirty
years. Of course that’s only a glorified kind of bookkeeping, but he sometimes
thinks it makes him an authority on anything to do with figures. He
might have a hard time staying out of that argument in the
bar.”
“That shouldn’t get him in any serious
trouble… . Well, I admit I hadn’t thought of it that way. It
sounded like a typical barroom argument, with nobody really knowing the score. They
were all talking through their hats, I may tell, you. Let’s find out what the
odds really are.”
He turned a menu over, took out a ball-point
pen, and began jotting.
“Do you really know how to work it
out?” she asked.
“I don’t let on to everyone, but I had
one of those dreary old out-dated educations. Lots of gruesomely hard study, and no
credits at all for football, fretwork, or folk dancing. But I think
I can figure it the text-book way.”
“You’ll have to tell me. I even flunked
Domestic Science.”
“They must have tested you in the wrong
domicile. But this is how you have to look at it. The first guy can be
born in any month, as somebody said. When were you born?”
“April.”
“Okay. Then the second guy has eleven
months to choose from, that’ll lose for Loud Mouth back there.”
“That sounds right.”
“So the second guy was born in May. Now
up comes the third guy. He has two months to dodge, out of twelve. On any of
Similar Books
