lights, bottles of water and food that would keep. A fire extinguisher, fire blankets, and a black-and-white video feed from the security cameras, beside a phone.
I stayed in the entrance—I could see everything from here. I could see it was empty. It looked small, and cold, and I understood why Jan would be worried if my mother had kept us in here. I pulled the door shut, my hand on the wall until I felt it latch.
“What was that?” Ryan asked.
I shook my head. “The safe room. For emergencies.” Not looking at Ryan, not wanting to see what he thought of that. Whether he saw it as a safe room or a panic room. Like the black iron gates, it looked different now, from the other side.
A chill ran over me, but it could’ve been from the basement itself.
“I need to check my phone,” I said. “Maybe she called.” But even I could hear the desperation in my voice.
Ryan led the way back upstairs, followed me back to my room, for my phone.
The first thing I saw was a string of messages from him:
I’m outside. Can we talk?
I’m sorry about earlier.
There are things I have to say to you.
I turned to look at Ryan, and he was cringing to himself. “Yeah, um, you can ignore those….”
But Mom hadn’t tried to call me. Neither had Jan.
Ryan was rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, keeping his hands busy, trying to find something to do. The impossibility of this moment only worked to increase my dread: Ryan Baker is standing in your bedroom, and nobody cares.
I closed my eyes, trying to think like my mother. If she knew I was missing, who might she call? She knew I’d talked to Annika. Maybe she’d called her, maybe Annika had tried to cover for me and ended up making it worse.
Ryan leaned against my dresser as I dialed Annika.
I heard music in the background when she picked up. “Back so soon?” she answered.
“Did my mom call you?” I asked.
“Did your mom…what? No. Did she find out? Are you in trouble?”
“No, I can’t…” I ran my hand down my face. Too many people knowing about my mother was still a fear of mine. I didn’t want the whole world knowing the extent of her condition. “Did you happen to see her? I’m not asking if you were spying, but you know, you can see my house from the wall, and maybe you were sitting on the wall or something….”
The music was off now. “Kelsey, is everything okay?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “She’s not here, and it’s not…like her…not to tell me.”
“Just like it’s not like you to tell her when you’re leaving, right?” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“Annika, it’s important.”
“I know, I’m sorry. Eli picked me up at eight, and we’ve been out since then. I didn’t see her. She didn’t call me.”
I heard someone say something in the background, and I assumed it was Eli. “It’s my neighbor,” Annika responded, her voice muffled though the receiver.
“Maybe she called your mom?” I asked.
“My mom’s driving Brett back to college. Nobody’s there.” She paused. “Do you want me to come over? We’re in the car already, I can be there in thirty,” she said.
“No, it’s okay. Enjoy your date, Annika.”
Ryan moved to sit beside me on the bed—and again I thought of how ridiculous this was: Ryan Baker is on your bed. And I started to laugh.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You’re sitting on my bed, and my mother is missing. And I kissed you ten minutes ago.”
His lips quirked up in a half smile. “I know you did.” And now he was staring at my mouth again, like he was replaying it. “I liked ten minutes ago.”
But he didn’t understand—everything about ten minutes ago was gone. Everything from then to now was impossible.
“This can’t be real,” I said. I stared at the phone in my hand, because I knew what I had to do. I had to call Jan. I had to find out if she knew something, without giving anything away.
White lies. Little lies. Like my
I stayed in the entrance—I could see everything from here. I could see it was empty. It looked small, and cold, and I understood why Jan would be worried if my mother had kept us in here. I pulled the door shut, my hand on the wall until I felt it latch.
“What was that?” Ryan asked.
I shook my head. “The safe room. For emergencies.” Not looking at Ryan, not wanting to see what he thought of that. Whether he saw it as a safe room or a panic room. Like the black iron gates, it looked different now, from the other side.
A chill ran over me, but it could’ve been from the basement itself.
“I need to check my phone,” I said. “Maybe she called.” But even I could hear the desperation in my voice.
Ryan led the way back upstairs, followed me back to my room, for my phone.
The first thing I saw was a string of messages from him:
I’m outside. Can we talk?
I’m sorry about earlier.
There are things I have to say to you.
I turned to look at Ryan, and he was cringing to himself. “Yeah, um, you can ignore those….”
But Mom hadn’t tried to call me. Neither had Jan.
Ryan was rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, keeping his hands busy, trying to find something to do. The impossibility of this moment only worked to increase my dread: Ryan Baker is standing in your bedroom, and nobody cares.
I closed my eyes, trying to think like my mother. If she knew I was missing, who might she call? She knew I’d talked to Annika. Maybe she’d called her, maybe Annika had tried to cover for me and ended up making it worse.
Ryan leaned against my dresser as I dialed Annika.
I heard music in the background when she picked up. “Back so soon?” she answered.
“Did my mom call you?” I asked.
“Did your mom…what? No. Did she find out? Are you in trouble?”
“No, I can’t…” I ran my hand down my face. Too many people knowing about my mother was still a fear of mine. I didn’t want the whole world knowing the extent of her condition. “Did you happen to see her? I’m not asking if you were spying, but you know, you can see my house from the wall, and maybe you were sitting on the wall or something….”
The music was off now. “Kelsey, is everything okay?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “She’s not here, and it’s not…like her…not to tell me.”
“Just like it’s not like you to tell her when you’re leaving, right?” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“Annika, it’s important.”
“I know, I’m sorry. Eli picked me up at eight, and we’ve been out since then. I didn’t see her. She didn’t call me.”
I heard someone say something in the background, and I assumed it was Eli. “It’s my neighbor,” Annika responded, her voice muffled though the receiver.
“Maybe she called your mom?” I asked.
“My mom’s driving Brett back to college. Nobody’s there.” She paused. “Do you want me to come over? We’re in the car already, I can be there in thirty,” she said.
“No, it’s okay. Enjoy your date, Annika.”
Ryan moved to sit beside me on the bed—and again I thought of how ridiculous this was: Ryan Baker is on your bed. And I started to laugh.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You’re sitting on my bed, and my mother is missing. And I kissed you ten minutes ago.”
His lips quirked up in a half smile. “I know you did.” And now he was staring at my mouth again, like he was replaying it. “I liked ten minutes ago.”
But he didn’t understand—everything about ten minutes ago was gone. Everything from then to now was impossible.
“This can’t be real,” I said. I stared at the phone in my hand, because I knew what I had to do. I had to call Jan. I had to find out if she knew something, without giving anything away.
White lies. Little lies. Like my
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