to do. But hey, only if you feel comfortable, ok? And you’ll have to hit me on Facebook. Private message me with the details.”
“I will. Be safe and let me know when you get there!”
Maryland called the girls to the door to give me hugs and I waved goodbye, my heart feeling a little sad. Maryland was my rock. I knew I’d survive without her and I was grateful for the Internet, but this was weird. And I’d never gone to a concert alone before. I didn’t mind it, actually. It was going to be emotional for me to see Heart again. So many memories of my parents, my childhood, and my Nancy. I smiled. Today’s cry was very slight. I was singing along to ‘Love Me Like Music’ and stopped to touch my non-existent belly. Instead of feeling hollow, I felt grateful that I’d had the experience.
The show was tomorrow and I still needed to go home and write on my blog. I figured now I was ready to tell my tale.
For those who don’t know me, I was gearing up to be a mom this summer when the Fates decided that wasn’t to be my destiny. My baby girl was stillborn in May and I was devastated. I didn’t think I’d ever climb out of the grey and back into the light. But just as it has always done, music stepped in and soothed me. I’ve been to two shows since I’ve been back on my feet and they were both very moving experiences.
Tomorrow night will be different for me. I’m going to see Heart, whom I have many personal connections to. My parents named me after the sisters (middle name is Nann), and my first concert experience was seeing Heart with my parents when I was a little girl. I remember my parents holding onto each other and singing to all of Heart’s songs. My mother told me one day I could grow up to play like Nancy and sing like Anne. Unfortunately for her, I’m kind of tone deaf and I really struggled with playing guitar. My fingers and the frets didn’t get along. But every time I hear one of their songs, it takes me back to those innocence-filled days. Before my parents died, before my child died. I named her Nancy, by the way. Nancy Ann.
I have new memories to make this time. I’ve potentially found a new concert buddy and I am determined to continue to find peace in the music. I’ll post my review for you all when it’s over. Good night!
Sleep didn’t come easy that night before. I prattled around all day trying to stay busy so I wouldn’t fixate on seeing Aaron again. That didn’t help when around 3:00, in the afternoon, he texted me a picture of what looked like a work schedule. It listed a bunch of positions and then I saw his name highlighted:
McShane: Artist Entrance and Backstage.
I giggled to myself and felt my cheeks getting hot. I texted back:
How did you get this number? Do you have the proper security clearance?
I received his answer very soon after.
Maryland must have thought you wouldn’t use mine. At least that’s what she said she was afraid of. I’m not a stalker, I promise. I just wondered if you might want to keep me company for part of the evening? I might be able to sneak off and watch Heart with you. If you don’t mind.
Maryland. Of course. Keep him company backstage? Oh, that would be terrible! In all the shows I’d ever been to, I’d never been backstage.
I don’t know. How can you be sure I won’t accost anyone backstage? Maybe I’m a crazy fan. I might not be trustworthy.
Why was I flirting with him? I felt out of control. It was fun, but scary. I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone and not be able to go back. I just wasn’t sure I could be trusted yet. His answer came five minutes later.
I’m a highly trained security officer. I think I can handle any potential security breaches. I am curious, though. If I were thinking of changing careers to a ‘concert buddy’ position, could you tell me what the job description entails?
“Whoa,” I said to myself. This was it. I was pretty sure he
“I will. Be safe and let me know when you get there!”
Maryland called the girls to the door to give me hugs and I waved goodbye, my heart feeling a little sad. Maryland was my rock. I knew I’d survive without her and I was grateful for the Internet, but this was weird. And I’d never gone to a concert alone before. I didn’t mind it, actually. It was going to be emotional for me to see Heart again. So many memories of my parents, my childhood, and my Nancy. I smiled. Today’s cry was very slight. I was singing along to ‘Love Me Like Music’ and stopped to touch my non-existent belly. Instead of feeling hollow, I felt grateful that I’d had the experience.
The show was tomorrow and I still needed to go home and write on my blog. I figured now I was ready to tell my tale.
For those who don’t know me, I was gearing up to be a mom this summer when the Fates decided that wasn’t to be my destiny. My baby girl was stillborn in May and I was devastated. I didn’t think I’d ever climb out of the grey and back into the light. But just as it has always done, music stepped in and soothed me. I’ve been to two shows since I’ve been back on my feet and they were both very moving experiences.
Tomorrow night will be different for me. I’m going to see Heart, whom I have many personal connections to. My parents named me after the sisters (middle name is Nann), and my first concert experience was seeing Heart with my parents when I was a little girl. I remember my parents holding onto each other and singing to all of Heart’s songs. My mother told me one day I could grow up to play like Nancy and sing like Anne. Unfortunately for her, I’m kind of tone deaf and I really struggled with playing guitar. My fingers and the frets didn’t get along. But every time I hear one of their songs, it takes me back to those innocence-filled days. Before my parents died, before my child died. I named her Nancy, by the way. Nancy Ann.
I have new memories to make this time. I’ve potentially found a new concert buddy and I am determined to continue to find peace in the music. I’ll post my review for you all when it’s over. Good night!
Sleep didn’t come easy that night before. I prattled around all day trying to stay busy so I wouldn’t fixate on seeing Aaron again. That didn’t help when around 3:00, in the afternoon, he texted me a picture of what looked like a work schedule. It listed a bunch of positions and then I saw his name highlighted:
McShane: Artist Entrance and Backstage.
I giggled to myself and felt my cheeks getting hot. I texted back:
How did you get this number? Do you have the proper security clearance?
I received his answer very soon after.
Maryland must have thought you wouldn’t use mine. At least that’s what she said she was afraid of. I’m not a stalker, I promise. I just wondered if you might want to keep me company for part of the evening? I might be able to sneak off and watch Heart with you. If you don’t mind.
Maryland. Of course. Keep him company backstage? Oh, that would be terrible! In all the shows I’d ever been to, I’d never been backstage.
I don’t know. How can you be sure I won’t accost anyone backstage? Maybe I’m a crazy fan. I might not be trustworthy.
Why was I flirting with him? I felt out of control. It was fun, but scary. I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone and not be able to go back. I just wasn’t sure I could be trusted yet. His answer came five minutes later.
I’m a highly trained security officer. I think I can handle any potential security breaches. I am curious, though. If I were thinking of changing careers to a ‘concert buddy’ position, could you tell me what the job description entails?
“Whoa,” I said to myself. This was it. I was pretty sure he
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