me. But you know there ain’t a soul in this city has studied pain more than I have. I got a Ph.D. in pain. Anyway you owe me.”
“Owe you what?”
“When you came out your door with that gun at your side I coulda killed you whenever I wanted. Stomped your foot and broke your neck. I could do it this very minute. And if you beat me you’d have to kill me ’cause you know I’d get you on the comeback. You know it. So let’s not sit here makin’ threats. You done answered one question. There’s only two more.” Truman sat back in his seat and turned his head to the side.
“Did you find out we was doin’ sumpin’ wrong at the Big Table?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Ain’t you there to find out if we was a threat?”
“Even if you aren’t a threat right now it doesn’t mean that you won’t be one in the future,” Truman argued. “You’re a felon. You might be taking innocent people and planning to turn them into crooks.”
“And did you see me doing that?” Socrates asked. “Was I tryin’ to fool them people?”
“You were talking shit to them. Actin’ like we could do somethin’ about malaria in Africa and terrorism. Shit.”
“We?” Socrates asked.
“You know what I mean.”
“You doin’ somethin’ ’bout terrorism, Maxie, and you’re just one man. One man get in with us and find all our bombs.”
“That’s different,” Truman said. “I’m with the police.”
“I’m with the brothers, Maxie. You been to my table. There’s some smart people there. Honest people. Even Ron Zeal is honest. He a killer but he don’t try ’n hide that. He wrong but he willin’ t’learn. Why can’t a man learn and then do somethin’?”
“Is that all your questions?”
“No. I got one more. I already asked you once but it’s worth comin’ back to.”
“Hurry up. I got to be someplace.”
“You mean you got some mo’ po’ niggahs to spy on?”
“Go on.”
“Will you come back to our meetin’s?”
“What?”
“Come back to us, Maxie. Come to the Big Table and tell everybody who you are an’ let them talk to you.”
“Are you crazy? Do you know what they’d do to me?”
“I ain’t done nuthin’ to ya, Max. I knew what you was and all I wanted to do was talk. I know you think what you doin’ is right. But I know too that you seen what we was. And you know bettah than any other man at that table that our fears about the world are right. We talk about people spyin’ on us and here you are the spy. It will help us to know you and hear what you got to say. Like I said—a brothah spyin’ on his own an’ he don’t even know it.”
“You’re serious,” Truman said as the truth dawned upon him. “You really believe all that stuff you sayin’.”
“If you don’t believe, Maxie, then you might as well give up. I learnt that in a eight by ten cell. There’s no life if you don’t believe in sumpin’. I was in prison for a long time, a very long time. It was possible that I’d never be free again. But I believed I’d be free and that I would get a chance to make amends for the things I did.”
“I know what you did,” Truman said. “I read your file.”
Socrates lowered his head, thinking how many eyes had studied him and dismissed him; how many people knew of the pain he’d inflicted on those youngsters. And for a moment he almost gave up. How could he pass judgment on Maxie when he was guilty? How could he talk about doing right when he was so wrong?
“Does that make what you do better?” Socrates asked, strength flowing back through his lungs. “I did my crime. I served my time. I know in my heart how wrong I was. I don’t blame nobody and I never, not even once, claimed to be innocent. That’s all I’m askin’ of you.”
“What?”
“Come over to the Nickel and tell us about bein’ a spy. And you don’t have to worry, I promise I won’t tell ’em your real name or where you live at. Even if you don’t come your secret is safe with me.”
Truman could
“Owe you what?”
“When you came out your door with that gun at your side I coulda killed you whenever I wanted. Stomped your foot and broke your neck. I could do it this very minute. And if you beat me you’d have to kill me ’cause you know I’d get you on the comeback. You know it. So let’s not sit here makin’ threats. You done answered one question. There’s only two more.” Truman sat back in his seat and turned his head to the side.
“Did you find out we was doin’ sumpin’ wrong at the Big Table?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Ain’t you there to find out if we was a threat?”
“Even if you aren’t a threat right now it doesn’t mean that you won’t be one in the future,” Truman argued. “You’re a felon. You might be taking innocent people and planning to turn them into crooks.”
“And did you see me doing that?” Socrates asked. “Was I tryin’ to fool them people?”
“You were talking shit to them. Actin’ like we could do somethin’ about malaria in Africa and terrorism. Shit.”
“We?” Socrates asked.
“You know what I mean.”
“You doin’ somethin’ ’bout terrorism, Maxie, and you’re just one man. One man get in with us and find all our bombs.”
“That’s different,” Truman said. “I’m with the police.”
“I’m with the brothers, Maxie. You been to my table. There’s some smart people there. Honest people. Even Ron Zeal is honest. He a killer but he don’t try ’n hide that. He wrong but he willin’ t’learn. Why can’t a man learn and then do somethin’?”
“Is that all your questions?”
“No. I got one more. I already asked you once but it’s worth comin’ back to.”
“Hurry up. I got to be someplace.”
“You mean you got some mo’ po’ niggahs to spy on?”
“Go on.”
“Will you come back to our meetin’s?”
“What?”
“Come back to us, Maxie. Come to the Big Table and tell everybody who you are an’ let them talk to you.”
“Are you crazy? Do you know what they’d do to me?”
“I ain’t done nuthin’ to ya, Max. I knew what you was and all I wanted to do was talk. I know you think what you doin’ is right. But I know too that you seen what we was. And you know bettah than any other man at that table that our fears about the world are right. We talk about people spyin’ on us and here you are the spy. It will help us to know you and hear what you got to say. Like I said—a brothah spyin’ on his own an’ he don’t even know it.”
“You’re serious,” Truman said as the truth dawned upon him. “You really believe all that stuff you sayin’.”
“If you don’t believe, Maxie, then you might as well give up. I learnt that in a eight by ten cell. There’s no life if you don’t believe in sumpin’. I was in prison for a long time, a very long time. It was possible that I’d never be free again. But I believed I’d be free and that I would get a chance to make amends for the things I did.”
“I know what you did,” Truman said. “I read your file.”
Socrates lowered his head, thinking how many eyes had studied him and dismissed him; how many people knew of the pain he’d inflicted on those youngsters. And for a moment he almost gave up. How could he pass judgment on Maxie when he was guilty? How could he talk about doing right when he was so wrong?
“Does that make what you do better?” Socrates asked, strength flowing back through his lungs. “I did my crime. I served my time. I know in my heart how wrong I was. I don’t blame nobody and I never, not even once, claimed to be innocent. That’s all I’m askin’ of you.”
“What?”
“Come over to the Nickel and tell us about bein’ a spy. And you don’t have to worry, I promise I won’t tell ’em your real name or where you live at. Even if you don’t come your secret is safe with me.”
Truman could
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