isn’t a quest. It’s a chimera.’
‘A chimera is a mythical animal.’
‘I mean simply that a quest ought to be something do-able, achievable. It’s silly to spend time searching for something that doesn’t exist.’
‘We don’t know that it doesn’t exist.’
‘I know that.’
‘You do, maybe. I don’t.’
‘You just don’t want to.’
‘All right, I don’t want to. I want to believe there’s a Gate to a better world, or maybe back to a better time. I want to believe there are answers. I want to believe that we haven’t found it simply because we haven’t looked in the right places.’
‘People have looked everywhere.’
‘If I believe there’s a Gate, I believe we haven’t looked everywhere.’
‘Well, if you believe there’s a Gate, you can believe anything.’
At that point there was a long silence. Ephraim looked more hurt than sullen, and Nathan was ashamed of himself. After all, what difference did it make?
‘Ephraim, suppose there were such a thing. I’ll just suppose with you that there is. Now, how would you make a quest out of finding it?’
‘I don’t understand you.’
‘How would you make a quest of it? There should be signs and wonders, prophesies, maybe a map? At least a few little myths or cryptic verses? Maybe an enchanted steed, at least for part of the way?’
‘Nathan, it isn’t kind of you to mock.’
‘I’m not mocking . If you’re serious, let’s be serious. If you’re not, I’ll stop thinking about it.’
‘I’m serious enough. There have been signs and wonders. There were maps, too, many of them.’
‘And all different.’
‘So? There were myths, cryptic verses, all the things you’re asking for.’
‘Then we have a quest, ready made.’
‘No. We would have if I could remember it all, but I can’t. It’s all back in the archives at Orena, buried in the dust I blew off them when I was twenty and eager and ready for a quest of my own.’ He scratched the back of his neck with his pipe-stem. ‘That’s really what I want, I suppose; to go back and be twenty again with a quest of my own, full of hope.’
‘You never told me you’d been on a quest.’
‘I wasn’t. I didn’t. I haven’t been. I had a quest, but I didn’t go.’
There was another long silence while Nathan pondered this. Finally he said, ‘How can you have a quest and not go?’
‘Oh, Nathan, you know how it is in Orena. You get born, and all your parents give you birthing beads and you get your red baby shirt. By the time you get out of your baby shirt you have a whole list of things you want to do. And then, by the time you know enough to be ready to start on them, someone asks you to be a parent for a baby they’re planning. That makes you think of your own parents, so you’re off talking to them, all of them, trying to find out how to be a parent so you can do a good job of it. Then, before that job is even half done, someone asks you again. Then, when that’s done, you find your first child coming to you to learn how to be a parent, and suddenly you’re forty years old and it’s time to go out collecting information for the archives. You put things off, each time saying you’ll make one more trip, and the plans you had gather dust. Just the way the little book with all the legends gathered dust. It’s there, somewhere, with all the legends correlated and the maps organized and the verses with notations. If I had gone back fifteen years ago … even ten …’
‘But you never went.’
‘No, I never went. I’ve only been back to Orena, and out again, and back to Orena, and out again.’
Nathan shook his head and finally said gently, ‘If I ever get back to Orena, I’ll look up your quest book, Ephraim. Did you file it any special place?’
‘I suppose I did. I can’t remember, though. Under Q, maybe, in the general archives. A little brown book with my name on it and a stained cover.’
‘I’ll look for it.’
Nathan had quite a bit of
‘A chimera is a mythical animal.’
‘I mean simply that a quest ought to be something do-able, achievable. It’s silly to spend time searching for something that doesn’t exist.’
‘We don’t know that it doesn’t exist.’
‘I know that.’
‘You do, maybe. I don’t.’
‘You just don’t want to.’
‘All right, I don’t want to. I want to believe there’s a Gate to a better world, or maybe back to a better time. I want to believe there are answers. I want to believe that we haven’t found it simply because we haven’t looked in the right places.’
‘People have looked everywhere.’
‘If I believe there’s a Gate, I believe we haven’t looked everywhere.’
‘Well, if you believe there’s a Gate, you can believe anything.’
At that point there was a long silence. Ephraim looked more hurt than sullen, and Nathan was ashamed of himself. After all, what difference did it make?
‘Ephraim, suppose there were such a thing. I’ll just suppose with you that there is. Now, how would you make a quest out of finding it?’
‘I don’t understand you.’
‘How would you make a quest of it? There should be signs and wonders, prophesies, maybe a map? At least a few little myths or cryptic verses? Maybe an enchanted steed, at least for part of the way?’
‘Nathan, it isn’t kind of you to mock.’
‘I’m not mocking . If you’re serious, let’s be serious. If you’re not, I’ll stop thinking about it.’
‘I’m serious enough. There have been signs and wonders. There were maps, too, many of them.’
‘And all different.’
‘So? There were myths, cryptic verses, all the things you’re asking for.’
‘Then we have a quest, ready made.’
‘No. We would have if I could remember it all, but I can’t. It’s all back in the archives at Orena, buried in the dust I blew off them when I was twenty and eager and ready for a quest of my own.’ He scratched the back of his neck with his pipe-stem. ‘That’s really what I want, I suppose; to go back and be twenty again with a quest of my own, full of hope.’
‘You never told me you’d been on a quest.’
‘I wasn’t. I didn’t. I haven’t been. I had a quest, but I didn’t go.’
There was another long silence while Nathan pondered this. Finally he said, ‘How can you have a quest and not go?’
‘Oh, Nathan, you know how it is in Orena. You get born, and all your parents give you birthing beads and you get your red baby shirt. By the time you get out of your baby shirt you have a whole list of things you want to do. And then, by the time you know enough to be ready to start on them, someone asks you to be a parent for a baby they’re planning. That makes you think of your own parents, so you’re off talking to them, all of them, trying to find out how to be a parent so you can do a good job of it. Then, before that job is even half done, someone asks you again. Then, when that’s done, you find your first child coming to you to learn how to be a parent, and suddenly you’re forty years old and it’s time to go out collecting information for the archives. You put things off, each time saying you’ll make one more trip, and the plans you had gather dust. Just the way the little book with all the legends gathered dust. It’s there, somewhere, with all the legends correlated and the maps organized and the verses with notations. If I had gone back fifteen years ago … even ten …’
‘But you never went.’
‘No, I never went. I’ve only been back to Orena, and out again, and back to Orena, and out again.’
Nathan shook his head and finally said gently, ‘If I ever get back to Orena, I’ll look up your quest book, Ephraim. Did you file it any special place?’
‘I suppose I did. I can’t remember, though. Under Q, maybe, in the general archives. A little brown book with my name on it and a stained cover.’
‘I’ll look for it.’
Nathan had quite a bit of
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