The Return of Retief

The Return of Retief by Keith Laumer Page B

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Authors: Keith Laumer
Tags: Fiction, General, Science-Fiction
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tramp freighter and hailed:
     
                "All
right, M'hu hu, don't get any big ideas. What's the idea trying to cut the boys
on the PT out of the action?"
     
                "The
fun's over, fellows," Retief replied. "Captain M'hu hu has retired,
and the run has been taken over by the Terran Space Arm. Better clear space to
port, because this is where I try out my new evaporator beams. I wouldn't want
to vaporize you by accident."
     
                The
gunboat, which had fallen in alongside at ten miles, edged away and fell
slightly astern. Meanwhile, red alarm lights had flashed on all across the
freighter's board. On the forward screen, a meteorite-pocked body of irregular
shape had come into view dead ahead.
     
                "Now,
Terry," the Ree vessel resumed transmission, "I don't know what
you've got in mind, but I guess you know enough to sheer off and give
Goblinrock a wide berth."
     
                The
gunboat fired a shot in parting, and fell farther astern. At the same time, the
freighter's innards began to groan, and the big DISASTER IMMINENT light glared
angrily. Retief made adjustments to the autopilot to steer directly for the
rock ahead.
     
                The
gunboat had backed off to fifty miles without further comment or gunfire.
Retief's forward screens showed the pinkish orb of the barren moon at extreme
range but coming up fast. A few moments later, the first tentative thump! sof atmosphere contact shook the elderly vessel, setting off the master
alarm systems which shrilled and bung! edand flashed red letters
reading ALL SYSTEMS IN FAILURE MODE.
     
                Retief
rode the disintegrating hulk down to ten thousand feet before ejecting. The
escape pod's air system was inoperative, he noted, but a quick resetting of
valves expelled the foul air and allowed the fresh, thin air of Goblinrock to
fill the cramped space only moments before the pod's landing jacks made violent
contact with the satellite's surface.
     
                The
pod wobbled, but stabilized at last. Retief forced the hatch open and emerged
into breathlessly hot, but breathable air. He found himself in a hard-baked
desert of dun and ochre mud reticulated by heat-cracks.
     
                A
barely visible trail of vapor marked the path his stricken craft had followed
in its meteoric descent. The point of contact was clearly indicated by a column
of denser smoke.
     
                Nearby
was a patch of spiny growths resembling pink Christmas trees. Retief stood in
the sparse shade of the 'trees' and scanned the hazy pink horizon, dead flat
except for an occasional upthrust spine of unweathered rock.
     
                Retief
examined the fleshy leaves of the nearest tree, noting that its glossy,
leather-like surface was distinctly cool to the touch. As he fingered the leaf,
it seemed to quiver, then to twitch away from his touch. He tried another, with
the same result. Then he noticed that the other plants appeared to be more
closely clustered about him than they had been a moment before. He stepped
back, jostling a small tree close behind him. As he side-stepped it, he was
quite sure that it somehow leaned into his path, pressing against him more
insistently as he thrust harder against it.
     
                "Let's
be reasonable, Pushy," Retief said aloud. "You stand still and I'll
get out of your way."
     
                At
his next step, the tree to the right seemed to shift position to close off the
gap through which he had been about to step clear of the thicket. Retief set
his feet, grasped the nearest branch; which felt like a fleshy overlay on a
hard core, bent it back until a thin wail sounded from some indefinable point
amid the foliage. Holding the branch aside, he advanced a step, and paused
again to push aside two more stout limbs which he had not previously noticed,
barring his

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