myself."
An attractive twenty-something server, off duty, approached the table carrying her apron.The Avatar noticed that her makeup was an unusual choice, and it was the second time he had seen that distinctive makeup choice that day. Her shoes looked familiar too, and her hair had the pink tint that was in style lately. He detected the first signs of a pattern, but it was interrupted.
"Iron your shirt, you slob," lectured Stacey.
"Ijust ironed it," protested the server.
"No, Stevie Wonder ironed that shirt."
"Who's Stevie Wonder?" asked the server.
"Ai-yi-yi.You know nothing. Iron your shirt again."
Stacey dismissed the server with a wave of her hand and turned to the Avatar. "So, are you a nut or what? I need to hear a good story. My television has been broken for a week. My pet chicken chewed through the cables."
"I'm an Avatar."
"And that would be...what, like a captain?"
"Something like that."
"Okay, Captain. Hey, I like that.Your name is Captain now."
The line cook delivered the Avatar's dish to the table. Stacey's eyes locked on to the dish, and she took a deep breath. "Are those mashed potatoes? I told you to use Yukon potatoes! Did your mother drop you on your head when you were little or do you just choose to ignore me?"
The Avatar smiled at the cook, who mouthed a silent "ouch" and scurried away.
"So what's your story? Tell me everything. I'll know if you're lying."
"Do you really want to know?" the Avatar asked before putting a bite of asparagus in his mouth.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't want to know. I've seen a billion people walk through these doors and I can tell when someone has a story. It's all over your face. Cough it up."
"A war is about to break out."
"That terrorist thing?They bomb us, we bomb them.Tell me something I don't know."
"You don't know that two billion people will die if the war happens. I plan to stop it."
"Oookay, sorry I asked." Stacey sat back in her chair and watched the Avatar chew.
"Delicious," he said.
"Of course." Stacey continued to stare at the Avatar, and he allowed it, not showing the least bit of discomfort. A minute passed and she couldn't take it anymore. "You're scaring me, Captain."
"What took you so long?"
"You weren't lying, were you?"
The Avatar nodded. She was as good at reading faces as she claimed.
"How can a guy like you stop a war? You couldn't even feed yourself until I decided to have pity on your ass. And you dress like a hobo on crack.What's up with that?"
"Would it be okay if I answered the first question?"
Stacey laughed. "Okay. Ifyou do a goodjob on that I'll let the other ones slide. Go."
"Think of humanity as a giant software program. Our bodies are the hardware and our ideas are the software. Sometimes our software gets a virus."
"What the hell are you talking about, Captain?"
"Religious misinterpretations. People who are infected with flawed religious ideas can infect others, especially their children. The religions spread and mutate, until there are thousands of different religious ideas, most of them harmless, some healthy and helpful, but others quite deadly. When the deadly ones reach a critical mass, they threaten the whole."
"The hole?"
"The entirety."
"Good, because I hate holes. So what do you do about this virus?"
"I'm looking for the reboot button, metaphorically speaking. I'm looking for the one person who is connected to everyone else in a chain of influence. The Prime Influencer That is why I am visiting GIC today. Their computers are doing a search for that person now."
"So you're saving the world?" Stacey asked.
"That's the plan."
"Okay, so suppose you find this Prime Influencer person. What are you going to do, change his opinion somehow? I don't think so. I've been around a long tine and I've never seen anyone change his opinion just because some rag-wearing nut tells him to."
"You don't believe people can change their opinions?" asked the Avatar.
"Come on. Who buys books written by conservatives?
An attractive twenty-something server, off duty, approached the table carrying her apron.The Avatar noticed that her makeup was an unusual choice, and it was the second time he had seen that distinctive makeup choice that day. Her shoes looked familiar too, and her hair had the pink tint that was in style lately. He detected the first signs of a pattern, but it was interrupted.
"Iron your shirt, you slob," lectured Stacey.
"Ijust ironed it," protested the server.
"No, Stevie Wonder ironed that shirt."
"Who's Stevie Wonder?" asked the server.
"Ai-yi-yi.You know nothing. Iron your shirt again."
Stacey dismissed the server with a wave of her hand and turned to the Avatar. "So, are you a nut or what? I need to hear a good story. My television has been broken for a week. My pet chicken chewed through the cables."
"I'm an Avatar."
"And that would be...what, like a captain?"
"Something like that."
"Okay, Captain. Hey, I like that.Your name is Captain now."
The line cook delivered the Avatar's dish to the table. Stacey's eyes locked on to the dish, and she took a deep breath. "Are those mashed potatoes? I told you to use Yukon potatoes! Did your mother drop you on your head when you were little or do you just choose to ignore me?"
The Avatar smiled at the cook, who mouthed a silent "ouch" and scurried away.
"So what's your story? Tell me everything. I'll know if you're lying."
"Do you really want to know?" the Avatar asked before putting a bite of asparagus in his mouth.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't want to know. I've seen a billion people walk through these doors and I can tell when someone has a story. It's all over your face. Cough it up."
"A war is about to break out."
"That terrorist thing?They bomb us, we bomb them.Tell me something I don't know."
"You don't know that two billion people will die if the war happens. I plan to stop it."
"Oookay, sorry I asked." Stacey sat back in her chair and watched the Avatar chew.
"Delicious," he said.
"Of course." Stacey continued to stare at the Avatar, and he allowed it, not showing the least bit of discomfort. A minute passed and she couldn't take it anymore. "You're scaring me, Captain."
"What took you so long?"
"You weren't lying, were you?"
The Avatar nodded. She was as good at reading faces as she claimed.
"How can a guy like you stop a war? You couldn't even feed yourself until I decided to have pity on your ass. And you dress like a hobo on crack.What's up with that?"
"Would it be okay if I answered the first question?"
Stacey laughed. "Okay. Ifyou do a goodjob on that I'll let the other ones slide. Go."
"Think of humanity as a giant software program. Our bodies are the hardware and our ideas are the software. Sometimes our software gets a virus."
"What the hell are you talking about, Captain?"
"Religious misinterpretations. People who are infected with flawed religious ideas can infect others, especially their children. The religions spread and mutate, until there are thousands of different religious ideas, most of them harmless, some healthy and helpful, but others quite deadly. When the deadly ones reach a critical mass, they threaten the whole."
"The hole?"
"The entirety."
"Good, because I hate holes. So what do you do about this virus?"
"I'm looking for the reboot button, metaphorically speaking. I'm looking for the one person who is connected to everyone else in a chain of influence. The Prime Influencer That is why I am visiting GIC today. Their computers are doing a search for that person now."
"So you're saving the world?" Stacey asked.
"That's the plan."
"Okay, so suppose you find this Prime Influencer person. What are you going to do, change his opinion somehow? I don't think so. I've been around a long tine and I've never seen anyone change his opinion just because some rag-wearing nut tells him to."
"You don't believe people can change their opinions?" asked the Avatar.
"Come on. Who buys books written by conservatives?
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