bathroom, then popped her head around the frame and shook a warning finger at Nonie. “Don’t cheat.”
Nonie threw her head back and laughed as the bathroom door clicked shut.
“Ava.” Caley shook her head in embarrassment. “She was kidding. I hope.”
“She’s a good kid. Let her have her fun—besides, I can’t say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind in the first place.” Nonie turned her still-twinkling gaze on Caley. “Want me to deal you in?”
Caley slid her hands under her thighs, her finger finding a tear in the vinyl and rubbing the exposed padding. With their ten-year-old buffer no longer in the room, tension crept into the vacant places between them. “No, thanks.” She swiped her hair out of her face, ruffled by the air-conditioning vent over her head. “I was never very good at card games.”
“You don’t have to be good at something to do it.” Nonie shuffled the cards with bony, blue-veined fingers, her eyes never leaving Caley’s. “Didn’t I teach you that much?”
She swallowed hard. “You taught me a lot, Nonie.” Too bad so much of it was in hindsight. Still, the pain of the not-so-distant past lingered deep. Her mother had left. Her father had outright rejected her.
And Nonie had stayed silent.
Of all three, that might hurt the worst.
Her eyes darted to the drawings Ava had created, and once again she longed for the days when she could express herself through a crayon and earn her grandmother’s favor so easily. Looking back, her pictures hadn’t been very impressive. She still couldn’t draw or paint to save her life, despite signing up for lessons as a young adult.
But Nonie had always made her feel talented and important. Worthwhile. She’d always managed to offset the abandonment Caley fought after her mom traded her relationship with her dad for a man with a thicker wallet; to offset the way her father made her feel—stifled. Incapable. Useless. Somehow, her grandmother had kept those precarious scales balanced.
Until Caley left.
“So, my dear—are you ever going to talk about it?” Nonie began dealing out the cards for the Go Fish pond in the center of the table.
Caley focused on the game-show contestant leaping excitedly around a lit stage on the TV, almost unable to speak around the lump in her throat. “Talk about what?” There she went with denial again, but the contrary required too much of her. Not now. Not yet.
“That elephant sitting right there.” Nonie gestured with her gray-streaked head to the empty far corner of the room.
She smiled despite herself. She’d missed that humor. Old age and disease might be slowly ravaging her grandma’s body, but they weren’t taking her wit. Or her heart. But the past was still written—and that elephant had a name. One she wasn’t ready to bring up.
Nonie finished handing out the cards, then lay back against her propped pillow. “So I take it you’re out of the Peace Corps?” The change of subject came quickly. Her grandmother had always been able to read her. The fact that Nonie knew not to push the previous topic just made her all the more endearing—and heaped an extra layer of guilt onto Caley’s already weary shoulders.
She nodded slowly, licking her suddenly dry lips. “I did a stint in Guam for a year before college.” She’d invited both Nonie and her dad to her graduation at Baylor University, but they hadn’t come. She pushed forward, trying not to let the negative invade what could be a positive conversation—their first since her arrival in Broken Bend. “I’ve been a firefighter the past several years, and an EMT.”
Nonie’s eager nod bolstered her courage—that, and her grandmother’s lack of surprise over the not-so-typical career choice. Then again, Nonie had always believed in her. That was part of why it hurt so badly that she hadn’t shown her support when it mattered the most.
“So what’s next?” Nonie tilted her head with genuine interest.
“I’m
Nonie threw her head back and laughed as the bathroom door clicked shut.
“Ava.” Caley shook her head in embarrassment. “She was kidding. I hope.”
“She’s a good kid. Let her have her fun—besides, I can’t say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind in the first place.” Nonie turned her still-twinkling gaze on Caley. “Want me to deal you in?”
Caley slid her hands under her thighs, her finger finding a tear in the vinyl and rubbing the exposed padding. With their ten-year-old buffer no longer in the room, tension crept into the vacant places between them. “No, thanks.” She swiped her hair out of her face, ruffled by the air-conditioning vent over her head. “I was never very good at card games.”
“You don’t have to be good at something to do it.” Nonie shuffled the cards with bony, blue-veined fingers, her eyes never leaving Caley’s. “Didn’t I teach you that much?”
She swallowed hard. “You taught me a lot, Nonie.” Too bad so much of it was in hindsight. Still, the pain of the not-so-distant past lingered deep. Her mother had left. Her father had outright rejected her.
And Nonie had stayed silent.
Of all three, that might hurt the worst.
Her eyes darted to the drawings Ava had created, and once again she longed for the days when she could express herself through a crayon and earn her grandmother’s favor so easily. Looking back, her pictures hadn’t been very impressive. She still couldn’t draw or paint to save her life, despite signing up for lessons as a young adult.
But Nonie had always made her feel talented and important. Worthwhile. She’d always managed to offset the abandonment Caley fought after her mom traded her relationship with her dad for a man with a thicker wallet; to offset the way her father made her feel—stifled. Incapable. Useless. Somehow, her grandmother had kept those precarious scales balanced.
Until Caley left.
“So, my dear—are you ever going to talk about it?” Nonie began dealing out the cards for the Go Fish pond in the center of the table.
Caley focused on the game-show contestant leaping excitedly around a lit stage on the TV, almost unable to speak around the lump in her throat. “Talk about what?” There she went with denial again, but the contrary required too much of her. Not now. Not yet.
“That elephant sitting right there.” Nonie gestured with her gray-streaked head to the empty far corner of the room.
She smiled despite herself. She’d missed that humor. Old age and disease might be slowly ravaging her grandma’s body, but they weren’t taking her wit. Or her heart. But the past was still written—and that elephant had a name. One she wasn’t ready to bring up.
Nonie finished handing out the cards, then lay back against her propped pillow. “So I take it you’re out of the Peace Corps?” The change of subject came quickly. Her grandmother had always been able to read her. The fact that Nonie knew not to push the previous topic just made her all the more endearing—and heaped an extra layer of guilt onto Caley’s already weary shoulders.
She nodded slowly, licking her suddenly dry lips. “I did a stint in Guam for a year before college.” She’d invited both Nonie and her dad to her graduation at Baylor University, but they hadn’t come. She pushed forward, trying not to let the negative invade what could be a positive conversation—their first since her arrival in Broken Bend. “I’ve been a firefighter the past several years, and an EMT.”
Nonie’s eager nod bolstered her courage—that, and her grandmother’s lack of surprise over the not-so-typical career choice. Then again, Nonie had always believed in her. That was part of why it hurt so badly that she hadn’t shown her support when it mattered the most.
“So what’s next?” Nonie tilted her head with genuine interest.
“I’m
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