for
information." I wondered what it was she had been trying to find out. Hey, he
had my picture in his wallet.
"I chose you," she had said to my father. The
question was, for what? Maybe that's why she came in that day. To see how much
power I'd have to keep him from doing what she wanted. Obviously she'd decided I
didn't have much. I guess she was right.
She had planned that visit. And those are the
only people you have to truly watch out for, the ones who plan and make it look
like they haven't. Planning is the evil thing. You learn that when you're three
and get scared by that witch in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as she
makes that apple.
116
It was getting just dim enough that the lights
on the boats started coming on. Bobbing dots of red reflecting into the water.
From far off came the sound of someone beating on bongos. At night this place
became something other than fat roses and shutters tapping softly like the toes
of spirits. It became too much drinking and too much noise by people who didn't
understand where they were and who would leave their mess in the morning. At
night this was not Teddy Roosevelt's place. It wasn't even my place, though I
probably wouldn't admit that to too many people.
I groaned at the thought of riding all the way
back especially now that I'd have to hurry to beat the darkness home. For a
second I thought about calling Mom, but I didn't think I was ready for the
questions she would have. My own questions took up all the question space I had
in my mind. The words for what was happening seemed too heavy and too new to
make real by speaking them aloud. Besides, it was my father who should have been
worried about where I was, not Mom. He deserved to feel guilty for the rest of
his life for whatever happened to me. I imagined walking down that pier,
crouching through a boat's small door to join some drunken party, or getting hit
by a car on Deception Loop on my way home, instantly dead. Tough shit if he had
to identify my lifeless body. I imagined his sobs when he
117
looked at my blue lips and my arms stiff at my
sides. I was still mad enough at him that recklessness crooked its finger at me
and beckoned, the same way Laylani says a box of chocolates does to a fat girl.
Sure you know it's bad for you, but you can't stop thinking about the delicious
possibilities.
Just then I felt cold hands close around my
eyes from the back, and I jumped and let out a cry of surprise.
"Guess who."
The hands slipped down, and, with my heart
thumping, I turned to see who was there.
"Jeez, you scared me," I said.
"So you came to find me, huh?" Kale Kramer
said. "I was getting kind of pissed you never called me back."
It hadn't even crossed my mind that I might see
Kale Kramer at these docks where he worked, but I wasn't about to tell him
that.
"I didn't know you called," I said.
"Talked to some dude." He took a pack of
cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, shook it until one slipped free. The
cigarette hung out of his mouth while he struck a match. He cupped his hand
around both and inhaled until the little flame disappeared. Then he took a long
drag. He didn't offer me one, which was fine by me. Hey, I know what happened to
the Marlboro man.
118
"I called and called and called until he
finally picked up. Said he was on the other line, you'd call me back. Fucking
call-waiting. So rude."
Kale Kramer never struck me as the type to be a
Miss Manners fan, but okay, fine.
"That your dad, or some other guy trying to
blow me off?" he said. He sat down on the edge of the bench next to me and
looked at me sideways.
"Just my dad," I said.
"Good," he said. "Hey. Where's my hat? I
thought you'd be wearing it."
The thought of me wearing that thing, well, I
almost laughed out loud. But he was serious. Sometimes I can't believe the
hilarious things that are happening all the time that no one else seems to
notice. I mean, you'd think bunion pads cut to the
information." I wondered what it was she had been trying to find out. Hey, he
had my picture in his wallet.
"I chose you," she had said to my father. The
question was, for what? Maybe that's why she came in that day. To see how much
power I'd have to keep him from doing what she wanted. Obviously she'd decided I
didn't have much. I guess she was right.
She had planned that visit. And those are the
only people you have to truly watch out for, the ones who plan and make it look
like they haven't. Planning is the evil thing. You learn that when you're three
and get scared by that witch in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as she
makes that apple.
116
It was getting just dim enough that the lights
on the boats started coming on. Bobbing dots of red reflecting into the water.
From far off came the sound of someone beating on bongos. At night this place
became something other than fat roses and shutters tapping softly like the toes
of spirits. It became too much drinking and too much noise by people who didn't
understand where they were and who would leave their mess in the morning. At
night this was not Teddy Roosevelt's place. It wasn't even my place, though I
probably wouldn't admit that to too many people.
I groaned at the thought of riding all the way
back especially now that I'd have to hurry to beat the darkness home. For a
second I thought about calling Mom, but I didn't think I was ready for the
questions she would have. My own questions took up all the question space I had
in my mind. The words for what was happening seemed too heavy and too new to
make real by speaking them aloud. Besides, it was my father who should have been
worried about where I was, not Mom. He deserved to feel guilty for the rest of
his life for whatever happened to me. I imagined walking down that pier,
crouching through a boat's small door to join some drunken party, or getting hit
by a car on Deception Loop on my way home, instantly dead. Tough shit if he had
to identify my lifeless body. I imagined his sobs when he
117
looked at my blue lips and my arms stiff at my
sides. I was still mad enough at him that recklessness crooked its finger at me
and beckoned, the same way Laylani says a box of chocolates does to a fat girl.
Sure you know it's bad for you, but you can't stop thinking about the delicious
possibilities.
Just then I felt cold hands close around my
eyes from the back, and I jumped and let out a cry of surprise.
"Guess who."
The hands slipped down, and, with my heart
thumping, I turned to see who was there.
"Jeez, you scared me," I said.
"So you came to find me, huh?" Kale Kramer
said. "I was getting kind of pissed you never called me back."
It hadn't even crossed my mind that I might see
Kale Kramer at these docks where he worked, but I wasn't about to tell him
that.
"I didn't know you called," I said.
"Talked to some dude." He took a pack of
cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, shook it until one slipped free. The
cigarette hung out of his mouth while he struck a match. He cupped his hand
around both and inhaled until the little flame disappeared. Then he took a long
drag. He didn't offer me one, which was fine by me. Hey, I know what happened to
the Marlboro man.
118
"I called and called and called until he
finally picked up. Said he was on the other line, you'd call me back. Fucking
call-waiting. So rude."
Kale Kramer never struck me as the type to be a
Miss Manners fan, but okay, fine.
"That your dad, or some other guy trying to
blow me off?" he said. He sat down on the edge of the bench next to me and
looked at me sideways.
"Just my dad," I said.
"Good," he said. "Hey. Where's my hat? I
thought you'd be wearing it."
The thought of me wearing that thing, well, I
almost laughed out loud. But he was serious. Sometimes I can't believe the
hilarious things that are happening all the time that no one else seems to
notice. I mean, you'd think bunion pads cut to the
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