The Pursuit by Johanna Lindsey Page B

extreme ups and downs. As it was, she could spend hours daydreaming, imagining all kinds of wonderful encounters with Lincoln Burnett, each of which ended most happily, as daydreams tended to do. It was a pleasant enough pastime, though she’d prefer to be having the actual encounters instead. Or she could spend hours dealing with doubts and trying to reassure herself that she shouldn’t be having them.
    Both were keeping her from getting quickly to sleep, and in the emotional form of excitement or anxiety, waking her sooner than intended and keeping her from getting back to sleep. The doubts were winning, though, and filling much more time than the pleasant daydreams.
    But then, seeing a man only three times in nearly five weeks just didn’t feel like a courtship to her. The first couple of weeks she couldn’t count, when Lincoln had tried to see her but couldn’t get in—at least that had been his contention. The four days in the country that had turned into a week she could count, but she preferred to be optimistic. She had decided that the invitation she’d arranged for himhadn’t reached him, and that was what accounted for his absence. It was disappointing, but no tragedy. They could make up for lost time as soon as she got back to the city.
    The optimism at least allowed her to enjoy her sojourn in the country. There had been yard games, an afternoon of golf, a picnic, riding each morning, and dozens of other activities lined up for a wide variety of choices. She’d even met two new gentlemen she’d been quick to discourage simply because they were ideally suitable, but she considered herself already off the marriage block.
    Now she was having some definite doubts again about the man of her choice. She couldn’t help it. If Lincoln were really interested in her, wouldn’t he make an effort to see her more often? Wouldn’t he at least send ’round a note to explain why he hadn’t come to call?
    She really had expected him to come by almost immediately upon her return to the city. He hadn’t, not once. Five days later she had to own up to the possibility that he wasn’t going to. She just couldn’t figure out why, and she was getting more and more melancholy trying to.
    “So you are still here?” Justin said as he entered the breakfast room, riding crop in hand.
    She’d lingered longer than she’d realized, lost in her thoughts. It was nearly noon. She’d sat there for three hours with a full plate in front of her, untouched. This had to end. They were becoming unhealthy, her erratic moods.
    “Where else would I be?”
    “Gone home. I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t seen you since that ball. How’s the romance going, by the by?”
    She burst into unexpected tears, then was appalled by it. But his expression turned even more horrified. It was so unlike him that it actually made her laugh. Was she going crazy? She wouldn’t be half surprised.
    He took the seat next to her, reluctant to say anything else, and regarded her cautiously. She gave him an embarrassed smile.
    “Dinna mind me, Justin. Female vagaries.”
    For a moment it looked as if he’d gladly accept that excuse, but then he snorted. “Nonsense. What’s happened to bring you to tears?”
    “Nothing.’’
    “I don’t believe—’’
    “Nay, I meant…nothing. I havena seen Lincoln since the day after that ball. I havena heard from him. He said he was going tae court me, then…nothing. If he hadna kissed me, proving that his courtship was sincere, I’d be thinking he’d just toyed with me.”
    Justin frowned, then said hesitantly, “I hate to mention it, Meli, but kissing can have absolutely nothing to do with courtship.”
    She waved a dismissive hand at him. “Och, I know what you’re thinking, but it wasna like that. He kissed me afore he mentioned the courting. And he said he already had m’da’s permission. He wouldna have asked m’da for it if he werena serious.”
    Justin grinned at that point, because he had to agree.