what's good for an empty tummy. I certainly don't need any soup or any—stimulating broth. What I'd really like is—”
“—nothing you'll get in this cesspool, I promise you that.”
“What?” Finn looked at Julia perched on a hardback chair. “And how would you know? I've warned you not to jabber, have I not? Most especially when you've no idea what you're talking about.”
“You have indeed. But if I'm wrong about the menu here, you may strike me with a rock. Further, I'm sure Letitia is right. It is most unlikely you're under a spell. The Fates don't
have
to drop dung in your lap. Dung happens. It can strike anyone at any time. This time it's you.”
“Fine, that's it.” Finn threw up his hands, then let them collapse at his sides. “I'm assaulted by my own dear wife on one side, and a—a pile of scrap on the other. I'm out of sorts, mentally impaired, and oh—overly tired.”
“Don't do this, dear …”
“I won't. Don't worry. From here on, I'll keep my insane thoughts to myself.”
“Imagine,” said Julia Jessica Slagg, “I lived to see that.”
“No, that's not entirely correct.” Finn whirled about to face the lizard. “You talk, you slither about, you even have aferret's brain inside your tin head. Whether you are actually
alive
is another matter.”
“That's not a nice thing to say,” Letitia said.
Finn gave her a cutting smile. “What do you want me to do, apologize to a bag of gears and wires? All right, I'm sorry, Julia. You think you're alive? Fine. You're alive and I'm overwrought. Dung happens. Sticks and Bricks, I've got to take a nap.”
“It's all right. I'm used to abuse. That's my mission in life.”
“Apparently, it's mine as well.”
“Poor you,” Letitia said. “Poor both of you. And I'm still hungry, does anyone care about that?”
Julia blinked her ruby eyes. “We have company. It's that ugly thing with hair.”
“I don't hear a thing,” Finn said.
Someone rapped lightly on the door.
“Come in,” Letitia said, “it's not locked.”
“How could it be?” Julia said, “It's scarcely a door.”
Letitia had seen Squeen only moments before, but the sight of him startled her all over again.
“Ssssssir and lady. Dinner isss be ssserving, if you pleassse …”
“Thank you,” Finn said, “but we're very tired, and we'd rather eat up here, if it's no trouble for you.”
“Issss no bees trouble, sssir.”
“Good, good. My apologies to our host.”
“Issss no bees trouble for Ssssqueen, but massster sssays no.”
“No? He won't let us eat, is that what you're telling me?”
“Eatsss isss fine. Masster sssayin' you bees comin' down. Issss bad mannersss, Masster Sssabatino sssays …”
“Damned if he does. That's outrageous. We simply won't put up with that.”
“Massster ssayin' you bees bringin' lizard perssson, too.”
“Listen, now—”
Squeen was gone. The door closed again. Or, as well as it ever did.
“Blast the fellow. He goes too far with me.”
“I'm hungry, dear.”
“Me too,” Julia said. “And some say I'm not even alive. Now is that a puzzler or what?”
“Finn …”
“Yes, my dear?”
“I hate to mention this, but since you haven't noticed, I'd better tell you now. We didn't get here with our satchel. I suppose we lost it in our flight. I fear we have no change of clothes, no brushes, no lotions of any sort.”
“Damn me,” Finn said, “I hate to hear that.”
“And what I said before? How I didn't feel any of this was your fault?”
“Yes, and I appreciate that.”
“I'd like to take some of that back. I don't have a thing to wear, Finn, except the same dirty dress. If you don't mind, I'd like to say I blame you for that …”
W ITH GREAT RELUCTANCE , F INN USHERED LETI -tia down the stairs, hoping the shaky apparatus would hold. Julia, perched on Finn's shoulder, pondered the question that was ever on her brass and ferret mind:
Who am I? Or is it maybe what? And does it really matter?
“—nothing you'll get in this cesspool, I promise you that.”
“What?” Finn looked at Julia perched on a hardback chair. “And how would you know? I've warned you not to jabber, have I not? Most especially when you've no idea what you're talking about.”
“You have indeed. But if I'm wrong about the menu here, you may strike me with a rock. Further, I'm sure Letitia is right. It is most unlikely you're under a spell. The Fates don't
have
to drop dung in your lap. Dung happens. It can strike anyone at any time. This time it's you.”
“Fine, that's it.” Finn threw up his hands, then let them collapse at his sides. “I'm assaulted by my own dear wife on one side, and a—a pile of scrap on the other. I'm out of sorts, mentally impaired, and oh—overly tired.”
“Don't do this, dear …”
“I won't. Don't worry. From here on, I'll keep my insane thoughts to myself.”
“Imagine,” said Julia Jessica Slagg, “I lived to see that.”
“No, that's not entirely correct.” Finn whirled about to face the lizard. “You talk, you slither about, you even have aferret's brain inside your tin head. Whether you are actually
alive
is another matter.”
“That's not a nice thing to say,” Letitia said.
Finn gave her a cutting smile. “What do you want me to do, apologize to a bag of gears and wires? All right, I'm sorry, Julia. You think you're alive? Fine. You're alive and I'm overwrought. Dung happens. Sticks and Bricks, I've got to take a nap.”
“It's all right. I'm used to abuse. That's my mission in life.”
“Apparently, it's mine as well.”
“Poor you,” Letitia said. “Poor both of you. And I'm still hungry, does anyone care about that?”
Julia blinked her ruby eyes. “We have company. It's that ugly thing with hair.”
“I don't hear a thing,” Finn said.
Someone rapped lightly on the door.
“Come in,” Letitia said, “it's not locked.”
“How could it be?” Julia said, “It's scarcely a door.”
Letitia had seen Squeen only moments before, but the sight of him startled her all over again.
“Ssssssir and lady. Dinner isss be ssserving, if you pleassse …”
“Thank you,” Finn said, “but we're very tired, and we'd rather eat up here, if it's no trouble for you.”
“Issss no bees trouble, sssir.”
“Good, good. My apologies to our host.”
“Issss no bees trouble for Ssssqueen, but massster sssays no.”
“No? He won't let us eat, is that what you're telling me?”
“Eatsss isss fine. Masster sssayin' you bees comin' down. Issss bad mannersss, Masster Sssabatino sssays …”
“Damned if he does. That's outrageous. We simply won't put up with that.”
“Massster ssayin' you bees bringin' lizard perssson, too.”
“Listen, now—”
Squeen was gone. The door closed again. Or, as well as it ever did.
“Blast the fellow. He goes too far with me.”
“I'm hungry, dear.”
“Me too,” Julia said. “And some say I'm not even alive. Now is that a puzzler or what?”
“Finn …”
“Yes, my dear?”
“I hate to mention this, but since you haven't noticed, I'd better tell you now. We didn't get here with our satchel. I suppose we lost it in our flight. I fear we have no change of clothes, no brushes, no lotions of any sort.”
“Damn me,” Finn said, “I hate to hear that.”
“And what I said before? How I didn't feel any of this was your fault?”
“Yes, and I appreciate that.”
“I'd like to take some of that back. I don't have a thing to wear, Finn, except the same dirty dress. If you don't mind, I'd like to say I blame you for that …”
W ITH GREAT RELUCTANCE , F INN USHERED LETI -tia down the stairs, hoping the shaky apparatus would hold. Julia, perched on Finn's shoulder, pondered the question that was ever on her brass and ferret mind:
Who am I? Or is it maybe what? And does it really matter?
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