teacher,â he confided in me.
I sighed. Even the freshmen were killers.
âThanks for avoiding us,â a voice said as I was finishing the last of my yogurt. I looked up. It was Elana, her face drawn, tight, and tense. I guess she was feeling the same pressure I was.
I stood up and said goodbye to the kid across from me.
âYeah, see ya tomorrow,â he said. I had made a friend for life.
Elana wasnât smiling. âCan we talk?â was all she said.
We had about twenty minutes left in lunch period. We decided to take a walk.
Outside, it was a pretty spring day. Thanks to all the rain, everything was lush and green. There were birds chirping, insects buzzing. You could feel everything beginning to come to life.
We headed for Shadyside Park, behind the school. Neither of us said much of anything.
We sat on a recently painted park bench.
âYou ready for the assembly today?â I asked, trying to get things rolling.
âTo tell you the truth,â Elana said, âIâve had so much on my mind, I havenât really thought about it. Itâs like I donât even care about it anymore.â
I nodded and waited for her to go on.
Finally Elana said, âI just feel so terrible,â and then she fell silent again.
I looked at Elana. She was wearing a long blue-and-white sweater over blue leggings and a gold band necklace that I was sure was real. She had her hair tied in a cute little ponytail with a whitescrungie. On her cheeks I could detect just a trace of apricot blush.
She may have been feeling terrible, but she wasnât feeling so bad that she had stopped paying attention to how she looked.
Such cruel thoughts.
I scolded myself for being so harsh. Elana did look glum. âI just feel so guilty,â she said, sighing.
âWhy?â
Elana stared at me as if she didnât believe that I didnât know. âFor going out with Gideon,â she said. âFor breaking him and Rachel up.â
I avoided her eyes. I happened to think that it was really awful of her, but I didnât want to say so now.
âIt wasnât my idea, you know?â she told me. âGideon kept after me and after me. Said he really liked me and that he and Rachel were just meant to be friends. . . .â
She stared at me again. Obviously she wanted me to say it was all right. I tried but I couldnât force the words out.
âI never got to apologize to her before she died,â she continued. âIâI just feel so bad about it. I think about it all the time.â
Her eyes were getting moist. I had never seen Elana cry before. I suddenly felt sorry for her. I put my arm around her shoulder. âHey,â I said, âwhat happened to Rachel was not your fault. Stop thinking that way, Elana. Weâve got enough to feel bad about without blaming ourselves.â
Elana gave me a grateful smile and swiped at her nose with the back of her hand. âThanks,â she whispered.
âBy the way . . . has Gideon ever said anything to you about the prom queen contest?â I asked her.
She looked surprised. âNo. Maybe. Why?â
âI was just curious. His family is about as poor as Rachelâs, you know.â
âSo?â
I was trying to decide whether it was worth scaring her with my crazy suspicions.
âIâm glad we decided to go ahead with it,â Elana said.
Mr. Sewall had called us in that morningâme, Elana, and Dawnâto see if we felt up to continuing the contest. Dawn had said that Simone and Rachel wouldnât have wanted us to quit, and Elana and I had both agreed.
âYou have a dress yet?â Elana asked me, her eyes on a large robin, pulling a worm from the ground.
âNo.â
âLast night my parents told me I have to be home by eleven after the prom.â
âEleven?â
âI know.â She shook her head. âSome prom.â
âItâs not
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