hand
and I cannot move. Nose to nose now, she is close to my eyes. Her
eyes are dilated in the dimness of the room, the iris a gold-green
with an outer ring of sage green, and tiny gold strands flecked
around the pupil. She has a warm glow like sunlight on warm earth.
I can feel her aliveness. She is potent like wine, or clear bracing
sea water. I cannot think of anything else.
She comes
closer; her lips parted breathing softly a sigh.
One kiss. I
felt so light; and she has me in her embrace. She tastes of
apricots and honey today. Maybe I over interpret such things; but
she is the sweetest thing to me.
‘Eve….
please….’
‘What is it
Jay?’
‘Would you walk
with me in the garden?’
She stands and
holds out her hands. She linked arms and pulls me up against her
bosom. She seems so certain of herself today. She leads me by the
hand out to the little brick path. And then to a little secluded
bench.
‘Come Beloved.’
She pulls me into her, and I can feel my breathing become rapid and
uneven.
‘I….err wanted
to say….’ But it is blurry.
‘What is wrong
Jay?’
‘I will tell
you.’ I lay my head on her shoulder as if I’m drunk, but it is that
crowded feeling of weakness.
‘I will take
you inside.’
‘No…. you must
know what has occurred. I don’t know what to make of it. So I’ll
just tell it straight, and then you judge for yourself….’
‘Alright,’
Marcia stays cuddled up to me with her arm around my waist as I sit
up in a more comfortable position.
So then I tell
her. I backtrack a few times, and refer to things that have
happened before, as well as today. She listens without
interrupting.
‘That is it….
Well; all that I know.’ I said.
‘Mmm; very
interesting…’ Marcia isn’t reacting at all how I thought she might.
She has leap-frogged over doubt, disbelief, and prejudice; and is
apparently deconstructing what I’ve told her in order to work out
more of what has been going on than I’m consciously aware of.
‘You believe
me?’ I feeling a little put out that she isn’t gobsmacked with
surprize. But then I meet her eyes, and see the bright glow of
childlike amazement. She is both boggled and challenged by her own
memory and logic at the same time. A regular genius. Marcia doesn’t
need to waste time going through the preliminaries to get to the
ultimate conclusion. She has already arrived. I am just as fast.
But I don’t have the capacity for remembering all facts; that is
Marcia’s speciality.
‘The alternate
version of this house; is it indistinguishable from this one or
not?’
‘There are
differences,’ I said, ‘there are always things that are similar but
not quite the same.’
‘Give me an
example.’
‘I could be
something like the shape of something. Like say, a rounded vase
instead of a straight one. Or the colour of a smaller object could
be different.’
‘How do you
know all this? You must have swotted it up pretty recently.’
‘I…. think I
must know it from a long time ago. It’s just been dormant until
today.’
‘And Cloud
Field?’ she stared away from me then, and I felt lost, ‘do you
remember what you said to me at the pool?’
‘I…. don’t
know. I want to know but I’m not sure if it’s right…. Marcia, I’m
sorry.’
She turned back
to me, tears in her eyes. ‘You mustn’t apologise. That is in the
remit of the bastards who locked us in that experiment for all that
time. But I remember all the times you were with me by that pool. I
hide them all in my heart Jared. You know I do.’
‘Forgive me.’ I
said and reached out to her.
‘I do.’ She
kissed me again, ‘there is nothing we can do about it. I will just
remember.’
‘Please tell
me.’ I begged her, ‘Please say those things word of word. Then I
will say them again. And keep saying them.’
‘Do you want
that? Your alternate self…. laid bare?’
‘I suppose I
do. I don’t want to miss something because I didn’t understand what
had
and I cannot move. Nose to nose now, she is close to my eyes. Her
eyes are dilated in the dimness of the room, the iris a gold-green
with an outer ring of sage green, and tiny gold strands flecked
around the pupil. She has a warm glow like sunlight on warm earth.
I can feel her aliveness. She is potent like wine, or clear bracing
sea water. I cannot think of anything else.
She comes
closer; her lips parted breathing softly a sigh.
One kiss. I
felt so light; and she has me in her embrace. She tastes of
apricots and honey today. Maybe I over interpret such things; but
she is the sweetest thing to me.
‘Eve….
please….’
‘What is it
Jay?’
‘Would you walk
with me in the garden?’
She stands and
holds out her hands. She linked arms and pulls me up against her
bosom. She seems so certain of herself today. She leads me by the
hand out to the little brick path. And then to a little secluded
bench.
‘Come Beloved.’
She pulls me into her, and I can feel my breathing become rapid and
uneven.
‘I….err wanted
to say….’ But it is blurry.
‘What is wrong
Jay?’
‘I will tell
you.’ I lay my head on her shoulder as if I’m drunk, but it is that
crowded feeling of weakness.
‘I will take
you inside.’
‘No…. you must
know what has occurred. I don’t know what to make of it. So I’ll
just tell it straight, and then you judge for yourself….’
‘Alright,’
Marcia stays cuddled up to me with her arm around my waist as I sit
up in a more comfortable position.
So then I tell
her. I backtrack a few times, and refer to things that have
happened before, as well as today. She listens without
interrupting.
‘That is it….
Well; all that I know.’ I said.
‘Mmm; very
interesting…’ Marcia isn’t reacting at all how I thought she might.
She has leap-frogged over doubt, disbelief, and prejudice; and is
apparently deconstructing what I’ve told her in order to work out
more of what has been going on than I’m consciously aware of.
‘You believe
me?’ I feeling a little put out that she isn’t gobsmacked with
surprize. But then I meet her eyes, and see the bright glow of
childlike amazement. She is both boggled and challenged by her own
memory and logic at the same time. A regular genius. Marcia doesn’t
need to waste time going through the preliminaries to get to the
ultimate conclusion. She has already arrived. I am just as fast.
But I don’t have the capacity for remembering all facts; that is
Marcia’s speciality.
‘The alternate
version of this house; is it indistinguishable from this one or
not?’
‘There are
differences,’ I said, ‘there are always things that are similar but
not quite the same.’
‘Give me an
example.’
‘I could be
something like the shape of something. Like say, a rounded vase
instead of a straight one. Or the colour of a smaller object could
be different.’
‘How do you
know all this? You must have swotted it up pretty recently.’
‘I…. think I
must know it from a long time ago. It’s just been dormant until
today.’
‘And Cloud
Field?’ she stared away from me then, and I felt lost, ‘do you
remember what you said to me at the pool?’
‘I…. don’t
know. I want to know but I’m not sure if it’s right…. Marcia, I’m
sorry.’
She turned back
to me, tears in her eyes. ‘You mustn’t apologise. That is in the
remit of the bastards who locked us in that experiment for all that
time. But I remember all the times you were with me by that pool. I
hide them all in my heart Jared. You know I do.’
‘Forgive me.’ I
said and reached out to her.
‘I do.’ She
kissed me again, ‘there is nothing we can do about it. I will just
remember.’
‘Please tell
me.’ I begged her, ‘Please say those things word of word. Then I
will say them again. And keep saying them.’
‘Do you want
that? Your alternate self…. laid bare?’
‘I suppose I
do. I don’t want to miss something because I didn’t understand what
had
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