table manners, watched their language, and took care of their younger siblings. She had long ago given up trying to make them clean up after themselves. Joe Jr.’s room was always a mess, his clothes a bit disheveled; he never made his bed or put away his clothes; and he spent far too much time roughhousing with his scrawny little brother Jack, who never gave up and never won.
Choate did not countenance such behavior. Roughhousing and teasing were frowned on, rooms had to be clean and neat, beds made, ties and jackets worn to class. Joe Jr. struggled, then adjusted and thrived. His father watched over his progress, offering advice and encouragement and interceding with the school officials when necessary. When, days after arriving at Wallingford (probably escorted there by Eddie Moore), Joe Jr. wrote to ask his father to arrange for him to go horseback riding on a regular basis, Kennedy suggested he concentrate on football instead. “Perhaps both of these things can be done but I would not give up the chance of participating in school athletics for the sake of riding horseback. I also have written the school for permission for you to attend First Friday [Mass], and I know you will fix this up so that you can go.” 5
Rosemary would also be sent away to boarding school that fall. Her parents had put off this day as long as they could. It was no secret to any of the Kennedys that Rosemary, now eleven, was “different from them and from children of her age group,” as Rose would put it in her memoirs. She was attractive, as pretty as her sisters, if a bit taller and plumper, round-faced, with a lovely smile. But she had none of their athletic grace; she lacked their sense of humor and whimsy, their gift of gab. She was shy, withdrawn, a bit distant. Nothing came easily to her. 6
The Kennedys had been given the same advice that was offered other parents of “mentally retarded” children. Rosemary should be sent away to a training school or institution for “slow” children. Rose was a loving, devoted mother, but that, the experts believed, was part of the problem, not its solution. The love of mothers for their “retarded” offspring blinded them to the reality of their children’s deficiencies, the impossibility of a cure, and the dangers and disappointments “slow” children faced in the world outside the institution. It also led to the mother’s focusing exclusive attention on the “retarded” child and neglecting the needs of their other children and their husbands. 7
Rose worried about these issues, but she never wavered in the belief that her daughter should not be sent away. “Much as I had begun to realize how very difficult it might be to keep her at home, everything about me—and my feelings for her—rebelled against that idea, and I rejected it except as a last resort.” Kennedy was as adamant that his eldest daughter remain at home. “When psychologists recommended that Rosemary be placed in an institution,” Eunice later recalled, “he said, ‘What can they do in an institution that we can’t do better for her at home—here with her family?’ So my sister stayed at home.” Rose encouraged the other children to include Rosemary in their activities. “They were merely told that Rosemary was ‘a little slow’ and that they should help her and encourage her. When she did something well, tell her so. If she made a joke, laugh with her, don’t give her a quick retort,” she remembered telling them all. “If there is some activity going on, let her participate, invite her to be involved.” 8
Rose had sent Rosemary to school with Kick in Brookline and with Kick and Eunice in Riverdale, but at age eleven she had fallen so far behind them—and her classmates—that it no longer made sense for her to continue in a regular public or private school. The same September that Joe Jr. was sent away to Choate, Rosemary was enrolled in the Devereux School in Berwyn, Pennsylvania, a private
Choate did not countenance such behavior. Roughhousing and teasing were frowned on, rooms had to be clean and neat, beds made, ties and jackets worn to class. Joe Jr. struggled, then adjusted and thrived. His father watched over his progress, offering advice and encouragement and interceding with the school officials when necessary. When, days after arriving at Wallingford (probably escorted there by Eddie Moore), Joe Jr. wrote to ask his father to arrange for him to go horseback riding on a regular basis, Kennedy suggested he concentrate on football instead. “Perhaps both of these things can be done but I would not give up the chance of participating in school athletics for the sake of riding horseback. I also have written the school for permission for you to attend First Friday [Mass], and I know you will fix this up so that you can go.” 5
Rosemary would also be sent away to boarding school that fall. Her parents had put off this day as long as they could. It was no secret to any of the Kennedys that Rosemary, now eleven, was “different from them and from children of her age group,” as Rose would put it in her memoirs. She was attractive, as pretty as her sisters, if a bit taller and plumper, round-faced, with a lovely smile. But she had none of their athletic grace; she lacked their sense of humor and whimsy, their gift of gab. She was shy, withdrawn, a bit distant. Nothing came easily to her. 6
The Kennedys had been given the same advice that was offered other parents of “mentally retarded” children. Rosemary should be sent away to a training school or institution for “slow” children. Rose was a loving, devoted mother, but that, the experts believed, was part of the problem, not its solution. The love of mothers for their “retarded” offspring blinded them to the reality of their children’s deficiencies, the impossibility of a cure, and the dangers and disappointments “slow” children faced in the world outside the institution. It also led to the mother’s focusing exclusive attention on the “retarded” child and neglecting the needs of their other children and their husbands. 7
Rose worried about these issues, but she never wavered in the belief that her daughter should not be sent away. “Much as I had begun to realize how very difficult it might be to keep her at home, everything about me—and my feelings for her—rebelled against that idea, and I rejected it except as a last resort.” Kennedy was as adamant that his eldest daughter remain at home. “When psychologists recommended that Rosemary be placed in an institution,” Eunice later recalled, “he said, ‘What can they do in an institution that we can’t do better for her at home—here with her family?’ So my sister stayed at home.” Rose encouraged the other children to include Rosemary in their activities. “They were merely told that Rosemary was ‘a little slow’ and that they should help her and encourage her. When she did something well, tell her so. If she made a joke, laugh with her, don’t give her a quick retort,” she remembered telling them all. “If there is some activity going on, let her participate, invite her to be involved.” 8
Rose had sent Rosemary to school with Kick in Brookline and with Kick and Eunice in Riverdale, but at age eleven she had fallen so far behind them—and her classmates—that it no longer made sense for her to continue in a regular public or private school. The same September that Joe Jr. was sent away to Choate, Rosemary was enrolled in the Devereux School in Berwyn, Pennsylvania, a private
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