themselves."
"It's impossible." But Siegel looked frightened.
"But that's what they've done. They've adapted, developed this new capability to get at the last few survivors, to get at us."
Elvin stared at him with his sleepy eyes. "You mean Jo is one of them now?"
"I don't know." Alex slumped against the wall. "She might not even know what she's doing. But she led Flash right into a swarm of colloids."
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Polly muttered.
"Then Flash is dead," said Siegel. "Is that what you're saying, Alex?"
"Yes, he's dead. I shot him myself."
Everyone was silent now. There was no need for an explanation. They understood what Alex meant, when he said that he had killed Flash. They had all seen people devoured by mature colloids.
"Jo led Flash into a trap?" a woman said. "Didn't I hear you say that?"
In utter misery, Alex nodded. "Yeah."
"She was pretty anxious to leave here tonight," said Irv. "It seemed kind of funny that she would volunteer, the way she's been acting."
"I thought I was the only one who noticed that," Alex said.
"Well, once you left, we couldn't help talking about why you went out after them. We knew it couldn't be Flash you were suspicious of."
"How do we know what he's saying is true?" Elvin asked. "Maybe something else happened, and Alex doesn't want us to know about it. Maybe he killed both of them."
"Right," Riquelme said. "And rather than just let things be, he comes back here and announces that Flash is dead and Jo is infected. Sure."
"Why was he so suspicious of them in the first place?"
"Don't you remember what happened this morning? Jo fired a shot, warning the infected that we were attacking," said Riquelme, his dark face showing anger. "That seems like a pretty good reason for him to be suspicious."
Nobody argued with that. Seeing that Alex had brought something back with him, a man opened the sack. "Canned goods," he said. "And lots of 'em."
"Never mind that," Alex said. "We've got to do something."
"What can we do?" Siegel asked. "She is lost."
They didn't understand. No, how could they? He loved Jo, far more than he had ever realized. He could have killed her back at the hideout, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. Now she would be one of the infected. But maybe Siegel was right. Maybe she was already dead.
"Come, Alex," Siegel said. "Maybe Jo is better off now. At least she won't suffer."
"No." This was all wrong. "She's not dead yet. I shouldn't have left her."
"You couldn't help her," said Riquelme. "I've seen it a thousand times."
"I've got to do something!" Alex screamed at them. "I never ran away like this before. I've got to do something!" He sprinted to the room where the napalm was stored. He unlocked the bin and lifted out one of the smaller napalm B canisters. It was heavy, but he would manage to carry it up and drop it out on the vile things that lurked outside. He wanted to see them burn. To hear their screams.
But he didn't. Instead, he fell to his knees and wept uncontrollably. "Jo," he said, over and over again. "Jo, I love you. Don't leave me."
He cried for a long time, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Claire.
"Alex," she said. "I'm sorry."
"I thought I was ready for this. My wife and son . . . I didn't think anything could hurt me like this again."
"You're still human. That's not a bad thing."
Alex wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "In this world, maybe it is a bad thing. It was different before the colloids came. We could afford human emotions then, but not now."
"Alex, don't."
He stood and faced her. "I won't waste this napalm. Better to save it for a time when I can do some real damage." He was under control now. Hearing Claire speak rationally helped, especially knowing that she had been in a schizoid state earlier today. They had to go on, no matter what happened. This was war, and you couldn't lose your head.
Stooping, he picked up the canister and set it back inside the bin.
A commotion was
"It's impossible." But Siegel looked frightened.
"But that's what they've done. They've adapted, developed this new capability to get at the last few survivors, to get at us."
Elvin stared at him with his sleepy eyes. "You mean Jo is one of them now?"
"I don't know." Alex slumped against the wall. "She might not even know what she's doing. But she led Flash right into a swarm of colloids."
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Polly muttered.
"Then Flash is dead," said Siegel. "Is that what you're saying, Alex?"
"Yes, he's dead. I shot him myself."
Everyone was silent now. There was no need for an explanation. They understood what Alex meant, when he said that he had killed Flash. They had all seen people devoured by mature colloids.
"Jo led Flash into a trap?" a woman said. "Didn't I hear you say that?"
In utter misery, Alex nodded. "Yeah."
"She was pretty anxious to leave here tonight," said Irv. "It seemed kind of funny that she would volunteer, the way she's been acting."
"I thought I was the only one who noticed that," Alex said.
"Well, once you left, we couldn't help talking about why you went out after them. We knew it couldn't be Flash you were suspicious of."
"How do we know what he's saying is true?" Elvin asked. "Maybe something else happened, and Alex doesn't want us to know about it. Maybe he killed both of them."
"Right," Riquelme said. "And rather than just let things be, he comes back here and announces that Flash is dead and Jo is infected. Sure."
"Why was he so suspicious of them in the first place?"
"Don't you remember what happened this morning? Jo fired a shot, warning the infected that we were attacking," said Riquelme, his dark face showing anger. "That seems like a pretty good reason for him to be suspicious."
Nobody argued with that. Seeing that Alex had brought something back with him, a man opened the sack. "Canned goods," he said. "And lots of 'em."
"Never mind that," Alex said. "We've got to do something."
"What can we do?" Siegel asked. "She is lost."
They didn't understand. No, how could they? He loved Jo, far more than he had ever realized. He could have killed her back at the hideout, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. Now she would be one of the infected. But maybe Siegel was right. Maybe she was already dead.
"Come, Alex," Siegel said. "Maybe Jo is better off now. At least she won't suffer."
"No." This was all wrong. "She's not dead yet. I shouldn't have left her."
"You couldn't help her," said Riquelme. "I've seen it a thousand times."
"I've got to do something!" Alex screamed at them. "I never ran away like this before. I've got to do something!" He sprinted to the room where the napalm was stored. He unlocked the bin and lifted out one of the smaller napalm B canisters. It was heavy, but he would manage to carry it up and drop it out on the vile things that lurked outside. He wanted to see them burn. To hear their screams.
But he didn't. Instead, he fell to his knees and wept uncontrollably. "Jo," he said, over and over again. "Jo, I love you. Don't leave me."
He cried for a long time, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Claire.
"Alex," she said. "I'm sorry."
"I thought I was ready for this. My wife and son . . . I didn't think anything could hurt me like this again."
"You're still human. That's not a bad thing."
Alex wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "In this world, maybe it is a bad thing. It was different before the colloids came. We could afford human emotions then, but not now."
"Alex, don't."
He stood and faced her. "I won't waste this napalm. Better to save it for a time when I can do some real damage." He was under control now. Hearing Claire speak rationally helped, especially knowing that she had been in a schizoid state earlier today. They had to go on, no matter what happened. This was war, and you couldn't lose your head.
Stooping, he picked up the canister and set it back inside the bin.
A commotion was
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