consequences.
With a sigh, he headed back to the river. A
great wave of relief washed over him when he saw that she was still
sitting on the riverbank. Her hair was bound up in a silver cloth
and she was dressed in a black halter top and white cropped
pants.
“Sahara!” he called.
She glanced over her shoulder and smiled
faintly at him. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and he wondered
suddenly if she had been crying. Then she turned away and stared
out over the water. Jared stood beside her for a moment,
hesitating, then took a breath and dropped down on the cool
grass.
“It’s…a fine day for swimming,” he said,
feeling horribly awkward.
“Yes. I’ve already been.” Her voice was
quiet.
The horrible moment had come, and so
quickly.
“I know.”
She looked at him again. “How do you know
that?”
So many things he could say, so many things
that would hide what he came to tell her. “Well, for one thing….”
He stopped and looked straight into her eyes. “I saw you,” he said
simply. “I saw you sitting here after your swim. About twenty
minutes past.”
The realization of what he meant spread
slowly across her face, and a fierce red blush suffused her cheeks.
“And I suppose you saw…”
“Yes.” He touched her cheek gently. “But you
needn’t be ashamed of that.”
“Yes, I do.” Her eyes were swimming with
tears. “Even if I could forget my past—even if I could change and
become someone different, like you want me to—“
“I don’t want you to—“
She waved him to silence. “The point is, I
can’t change. I can’t ever get away from it. It will be inscribed
on my body for the rest of my life.”
“On your body, maybe, but not your heart,
Sahara!” he said. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“I’ve tried your way, Jared.” She was once
more in control of herself. To Jared, it was as if she had enclosed
herself in plated steel. “That’s just not who I am. I’m not about
pretty dresses and…and things like that. I felt…I felt like a
fool.”
“You didn’t seem like one.” He smiled at her.
“You were wonderful last night. Everyone’s talking about it.”
And I can’t stop thinking about it , he
thought, remembering once again how it felt to hold her.
Sahara blushed again and turned her head
away. “That’s just perfect,” she muttered.
“I don’t understand,” Jared said. “What are
you so ashamed of?”
“Can’t you guess?” she asked, so softly that
he barely heard her.
“No, I can’t guess.”
She shook her head and sighed. After a
moment, she roused herself and turned to Jared with some of her old
fire.
“We don’t have time for all that. There’s
work to be done here. What do you read all day in the library? And
why do you collect maps?”
Jared blinked at her. “What?”
“You heard me. Books. Maps. What do you study
all day, Jared? What are you searching for?”
Yes, her armor was on now, the visor down,
the sword steady in her grip. It was a fitting image, it seemed to
him. A fitting image for an impenetrable heart.
I wonder if she’ll ever trust me enough to
tell me what happened to her , he thought.
“If you’re so hell-bent on knowing, come with
me and I’ll show you,” he said.
He stood up and waited while she gathered her
bathing things into a neat pile and placed them next to the trunk
of the nearest tree. When she was ready, he led her across the
bridge and into the library. It was dark and cool inside and
smelled of dry parchment. Sahara sneezed.
“Does anyone else ever come in here?” she
asked, rubbing her nose.
“Not anymore,” he said. “But I was
practically raised in here. My father was the official scribe of
the city, and he spent many days and nights transcribing messages,
accounts, birth and death records…whatever might be useful in
constructing a picture of daily life in Albadir.” He went to a
series of bookshelves in a small alcove. “These are all his work.”
He ran his
With a sigh, he headed back to the river. A
great wave of relief washed over him when he saw that she was still
sitting on the riverbank. Her hair was bound up in a silver cloth
and she was dressed in a black halter top and white cropped
pants.
“Sahara!” he called.
She glanced over her shoulder and smiled
faintly at him. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and he wondered
suddenly if she had been crying. Then she turned away and stared
out over the water. Jared stood beside her for a moment,
hesitating, then took a breath and dropped down on the cool
grass.
“It’s…a fine day for swimming,” he said,
feeling horribly awkward.
“Yes. I’ve already been.” Her voice was
quiet.
The horrible moment had come, and so
quickly.
“I know.”
She looked at him again. “How do you know
that?”
So many things he could say, so many things
that would hide what he came to tell her. “Well, for one thing….”
He stopped and looked straight into her eyes. “I saw you,” he said
simply. “I saw you sitting here after your swim. About twenty
minutes past.”
The realization of what he meant spread
slowly across her face, and a fierce red blush suffused her cheeks.
“And I suppose you saw…”
“Yes.” He touched her cheek gently. “But you
needn’t be ashamed of that.”
“Yes, I do.” Her eyes were swimming with
tears. “Even if I could forget my past—even if I could change and
become someone different, like you want me to—“
“I don’t want you to—“
She waved him to silence. “The point is, I
can’t change. I can’t ever get away from it. It will be inscribed
on my body for the rest of my life.”
“On your body, maybe, but not your heart,
Sahara!” he said. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“I’ve tried your way, Jared.” She was once
more in control of herself. To Jared, it was as if she had enclosed
herself in plated steel. “That’s just not who I am. I’m not about
pretty dresses and…and things like that. I felt…I felt like a
fool.”
“You didn’t seem like one.” He smiled at her.
“You were wonderful last night. Everyone’s talking about it.”
And I can’t stop thinking about it , he
thought, remembering once again how it felt to hold her.
Sahara blushed again and turned her head
away. “That’s just perfect,” she muttered.
“I don’t understand,” Jared said. “What are
you so ashamed of?”
“Can’t you guess?” she asked, so softly that
he barely heard her.
“No, I can’t guess.”
She shook her head and sighed. After a
moment, she roused herself and turned to Jared with some of her old
fire.
“We don’t have time for all that. There’s
work to be done here. What do you read all day in the library? And
why do you collect maps?”
Jared blinked at her. “What?”
“You heard me. Books. Maps. What do you study
all day, Jared? What are you searching for?”
Yes, her armor was on now, the visor down,
the sword steady in her grip. It was a fitting image, it seemed to
him. A fitting image for an impenetrable heart.
I wonder if she’ll ever trust me enough to
tell me what happened to her , he thought.
“If you’re so hell-bent on knowing, come with
me and I’ll show you,” he said.
He stood up and waited while she gathered her
bathing things into a neat pile and placed them next to the trunk
of the nearest tree. When she was ready, he led her across the
bridge and into the library. It was dark and cool inside and
smelled of dry parchment. Sahara sneezed.
“Does anyone else ever come in here?” she
asked, rubbing her nose.
“Not anymore,” he said. “But I was
practically raised in here. My father was the official scribe of
the city, and he spent many days and nights transcribing messages,
accounts, birth and death records…whatever might be useful in
constructing a picture of daily life in Albadir.” He went to a
series of bookshelves in a small alcove. “These are all his work.”
He ran his
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