family.â
âLucky guy,â Seana said. âIn my book, the idealization of family does as much harm as believing that falling-in-love with a one-and-only being the be-all and end-all of life. Friendshipâhaving good friends you can count on, like you twoâlike Maxâalways trumps family.â
âCan we drink to thatâand to Max?â Trish asked.
âA splendid idea,â Seana said, and then: âOkay by you, Charlie?â
âYes,â I said, and would have said more, but was afraid that if I did, I would break down completely.
Trish poured three glasses of Jamisonâs for us, and, silently, we raised our glasses, clinked them, drank.
Seana spoke, with a brogue: ââFor what could be worse than drink?â the young Irishman asked, and his father answered, âThirst.ââ
âSo after Nick left us,â Trish said, âI made Lorenzo and Eugenia legal guardians for Gabe, and later on I added that they be guardians for Anna too, because at least if something happened to me, Lorenzo and Eugenia would have the wherewithal to raise them, or to see that they were taken care of, which I knew I couldnât count on Nick for. But now that Nickâs gone, Iâve changed my mind, and Iâve decided to call my lawyer and ask him to draw up new papers making you two the guardians.â
âBut you havenât asked us if we agree to be guardians,â Seana said.
â Do you?â
âMaybe yes, maybe no,â Seana said. âBut a question first: Your departure from this world isnât in the works, is it?â
âNo.â
âPromise?â
âYes.â
âCross your heart?â
âYes.â
âThen, as judges are wont to say, weâll take it under advisement, okay?â Seana said.
âAnd you, Charlie?â Trish asked.
âI agree with Seana,â I said. âIâm flattered, Trishâhonored, reallyâbut I think we should give it some time. I know what youâre like when you get high, and Iâm not sure, with the news about my dad, that Iâm capable of thinking clearly right now, even if I seem to be rationalâ¦â
âAnd youâve been off your meds,â Seana said.
âOkay, okay,â Trish said. âSure. And thank you both very much. Thank you. I feel better nowâa lot better. I mean, not better that your fatherâs gone, Charlie, butâ¦â
âItâs okay,â I said.
ââ¦but even when I go back on my medsâlower dose, right?âand youâre gone and I try to get back to what passes for normal life, I know Iâm going to stay firm about my decision. I just know it because it feels so right âit just does,â she said, and then to me: âDo you still want to have your own kids some day?â
âYes,â I said.
âIf you didnât have any, would that be a lossâsomething that would diminish your life?â
âYes,â I said.
âI remember how enthusiastic you were when we talked about maybe having kids together, you and meâbut you were calm tooâlike it was something youâd always known about yourself. It made me care for you a lot.â
âWhen you and Nick had Gabe,â I said, âI was happy for you and sad for meâthat I wasnât the father.â
Trish put her hand on mine. âYou werenât, Charlie. I know you worried about that, but you can trust me on this. Youâre not Gabeâs father, okay?â
âMax was just like a mother to me,â Seana said.
â What? â Trish said.
âMax was just like a mother to me,â Seana said again.
âOh,â Trish said, and nodded several times. âSure. I think I understand.â
âDo you really ?â Seana said.
âAs I was saying,â I said, âmy father and Freeman were on their way to a convention somewhereâBaltimore, I
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