THE ONE YOU CANNOT HAVE

THE ONE YOU CANNOT HAVE by Preeti Shenoy Page A

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Authors: Preeti Shenoy
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Dipika.
    ‘Yeah, you do that. I want to catch this NBA game and we’ll all go out for dinner in the evening,’ says Vikram, as he proceeds upstairs to the AV room to watch his match. I recall the room from my visit here last time. Their house has a nice den with an entire wall lined with bookshelves, on which rest an enviable collection of books. They also have their home theatre and collection of movies there.
    ‘Shall I help you clear this?’ I ask Dipika, trying to keep a straight face. Two years of living in the UK and I cannot for the life of me, not clear up a table when I finish a meal. In the UK, when friends invite you over for a meal, you always help clear up. You even help them do the dishes.
    ‘No, leave it. The maid will do it. Get your suitcase and bags to the room,’ she says.
    She marches ahead and I pick up my stuff from the floor of the living room and follow her.
    As soon as we’re inside, I glance outside and make sure that Vikram is out of earshot. I can hear the TV upstairs and I am certain that he must be fully engrossed in it. I whisper to her, ‘Hey, listen. What was that all about?’
    She giggles and says, ‘Come on, Aman. I was just having some fun. No need to get so serious about it.’
    ‘Fun? I nearly had a heart attack,’ I say.
    ‘Oh really? Why? Am I that irresistible?’ she asks as she moves closer and I hold my breath. I am hard now and I hope she hasn’t noticed it.
    I take two steps back.
    ‘Dipika, please. You’re my friend’s wife. Not even my friend—my mentor, guide, everything, I look up to Vikram and, honestly, you are putting me in a spot here.’
    ‘Come on, Aman. Don’t tell me you don’t want me. Vikram doesn’t have to know everything, you know, and it is not that I intend leaving him or anything,’ she says and smiles.
    I am shocked. Here she is, blatantly suggesting a ‘no-strings-attached’ affair. For a brief few seconds I am tempted. But then I consider Vikram—all that he has done for me, how he has helped me, what he means to me and most importantly his position in the organisation. You don’t mess with guys like Vikram.
    It takes me only a few seconds to decide. Thanks, but no thanks. I would rather be safe than sorry.
    ‘Dipika, you’re a married woman and a mother to two lovely girls. How can you say things like that?’ I ask her, trying to kind of make her feel a little guilty. After all, it is not me who has made a pass at her.
    But she is unfazed. ‘Don’t be such a holier-than-thou. And don’t act like you have never done anything like this before.’
    ‘If you are talking about messing around with married women and that too mothers, no I haven’t,’ I answer truthfully.
    ‘What’s it with “motherhood”? Mothers are women too you know. Women do like to feel attractive. And, trust me, after becoming a mother, you need validation all the more. But heck, why am I explaining all this to you? I don’t know. Maybe it is because you are acting all ideal and great.’
    I am honestly not acting ‘ideal or great’ as she has put it. Any other guy in place of Vikram and I would have grabbed the chance, probably. But I cannot do it to Vikram. I do not tell her that though.
    ‘Look, I find you very attractive, okay? But this thing you have in mind, I can’t do it.’
    ‘I didn’t have anything in mind. God, how can you presume anything like that? I was only having some fun. And I never expected you to take it all seriously. Please,’ she says and forces a laugh.
    I do not know what to say.
    ‘Anyway, I guess you’re tired. Rest and we’ll have a good time in the evening,’ she says as she leaves the room and closes the door.
    I go to the door and bolt it, just to be sure that she won’t come back in. I feel strangely restless. It is evident that Dipika wanted more and she did offer it to me on a platter—a no-strings-attached relationship if it can be called that. I do not know what it is. But I don’t think she expected

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