Are you blind and deaf and stupid, old man?”
“I said shut your trap, Mildred! Just shut it!”
“Go to hell.”
“Stop it, both of you,” yells Bess again. They are all standing now, the two of them screaming with pointed fingers and heaving chests, two cocks in a pit and Bess in the middle with both her hands out when suddenly her cell phone rings from inside her knapsack. She could ignore it, but she doesn’t know how to stop the ring. Shit , she hisses as she flips it on.
“Bess. It’s Gabrielle.”
“Hey. Listen. Can I call you—”
“So I’m at the Social Safeway,” Gabrielle starts in, “I’m in the detergent section, minding my own business, and guess who I bump into?”
Millie in mid-scream heads into the house and slams the screen door behind her. “Gabrielle,” says Bess, pacing. “I really can’t—”
“C’mon, Bess. Guess.”
Irv screams something to the door and throws his hands up in the air. He screams again and his voice is hoarse. “Gramp,” says Bess with her phone away from her ear, but he doesn’t listen. Instead, he storms into the house after Millie and leaves Bess standing over her birthday gifts.
“Okay, I’ll tell you,” Gabrielle is saying. “You’re no fun today. He hasn’t stopped asking me questions about you so I said I’d call you right now on my cell.”
“What?” Bess says, halfheartedly. She feels defeated. She takes a seat at the table. It sounds like her grandparents are still fighting in the kitchen, though she can only make out a word here and there.
“Hang on,” says Gabrielle, and then Bess swears she hears Millie bark out, Fuck you! But that couldn’t be. Millie? This tiny old Jewish woman saying, Fuck you ? You’ve got to be kidding. But then as if to confirm her suspicions she distinctly hears Irv scream it back. Fuck you, too, you fucking bitch . Bess is whoosh , back up on her feet. Where did they get that from? Never once has either of them cursed in front of her, Bess is sure of it. She half laughs. They sound so ludicrous, like children trying out the nasty bits their parents have forbidden them to say. But her amusement is short-lived while she realizes what has happened for their fights to have escalated to such a degree. “Fuck,” she says. “Fucking unbelievable,” she now yells so they might hear her. “ Do you hear what that sounds like? Fuck! ” she screams.
“Hello, Bess?”
It’s a male’s voice. Oh God, it isn’t . “Yes,” whispers Bess.
“It’s Rory. From last night?”
It is. Fuck . “Hi. Sorry for yelling that in your ear.”
“You wouldn’t be the first. You’re quite charming, you Americans.”
“Thanks. I don’t usually start up phone conversations like that.”
“Well, you should. I think you’re on to something. The whole hi, hello, how are you bit can become a thing of the past. Shall I try it?”
“I think you should,” she says, sitting back down. Her grandparents must have stopped arguing, since she can’t hear anything from inside the house.
Suddenly he screams FUCK so loudly into the phone she jumps back. She hears some other voices in the background, and then Rory sounds like he’s talking to someone else. “I just can’t be lieve the price of these Snuggles,” he is saying. “Can’t a guy soften his fabric without going broke?”
“Making new friends at the supermarket?” says Bess. She thinks she can hear Gabrielle’s distinctive laugh.
“You should have seen that woman’s face,” says Rory. “I think I really just scared her half to death.”
“We’ll have to fine-tune our new greeting.”
“Yes, let’s work on that.”
The sound of Rory’s masculine voice ignites a small electrical storm of desire inside her, but she is uneasy. The house is too quiet. She picks up the fallen cup and saucer and uses her cloth napkin to wipe the spilled tea on the table. “Listen,” she says, “can I call you back? I’m with my grandparents and I really
“I said shut your trap, Mildred! Just shut it!”
“Go to hell.”
“Stop it, both of you,” yells Bess again. They are all standing now, the two of them screaming with pointed fingers and heaving chests, two cocks in a pit and Bess in the middle with both her hands out when suddenly her cell phone rings from inside her knapsack. She could ignore it, but she doesn’t know how to stop the ring. Shit , she hisses as she flips it on.
“Bess. It’s Gabrielle.”
“Hey. Listen. Can I call you—”
“So I’m at the Social Safeway,” Gabrielle starts in, “I’m in the detergent section, minding my own business, and guess who I bump into?”
Millie in mid-scream heads into the house and slams the screen door behind her. “Gabrielle,” says Bess, pacing. “I really can’t—”
“C’mon, Bess. Guess.”
Irv screams something to the door and throws his hands up in the air. He screams again and his voice is hoarse. “Gramp,” says Bess with her phone away from her ear, but he doesn’t listen. Instead, he storms into the house after Millie and leaves Bess standing over her birthday gifts.
“Okay, I’ll tell you,” Gabrielle is saying. “You’re no fun today. He hasn’t stopped asking me questions about you so I said I’d call you right now on my cell.”
“What?” Bess says, halfheartedly. She feels defeated. She takes a seat at the table. It sounds like her grandparents are still fighting in the kitchen, though she can only make out a word here and there.
“Hang on,” says Gabrielle, and then Bess swears she hears Millie bark out, Fuck you! But that couldn’t be. Millie? This tiny old Jewish woman saying, Fuck you ? You’ve got to be kidding. But then as if to confirm her suspicions she distinctly hears Irv scream it back. Fuck you, too, you fucking bitch . Bess is whoosh , back up on her feet. Where did they get that from? Never once has either of them cursed in front of her, Bess is sure of it. She half laughs. They sound so ludicrous, like children trying out the nasty bits their parents have forbidden them to say. But her amusement is short-lived while she realizes what has happened for their fights to have escalated to such a degree. “Fuck,” she says. “Fucking unbelievable,” she now yells so they might hear her. “ Do you hear what that sounds like? Fuck! ” she screams.
“Hello, Bess?”
It’s a male’s voice. Oh God, it isn’t . “Yes,” whispers Bess.
“It’s Rory. From last night?”
It is. Fuck . “Hi. Sorry for yelling that in your ear.”
“You wouldn’t be the first. You’re quite charming, you Americans.”
“Thanks. I don’t usually start up phone conversations like that.”
“Well, you should. I think you’re on to something. The whole hi, hello, how are you bit can become a thing of the past. Shall I try it?”
“I think you should,” she says, sitting back down. Her grandparents must have stopped arguing, since she can’t hear anything from inside the house.
Suddenly he screams FUCK so loudly into the phone she jumps back. She hears some other voices in the background, and then Rory sounds like he’s talking to someone else. “I just can’t be lieve the price of these Snuggles,” he is saying. “Can’t a guy soften his fabric without going broke?”
“Making new friends at the supermarket?” says Bess. She thinks she can hear Gabrielle’s distinctive laugh.
“You should have seen that woman’s face,” says Rory. “I think I really just scared her half to death.”
“We’ll have to fine-tune our new greeting.”
“Yes, let’s work on that.”
The sound of Rory’s masculine voice ignites a small electrical storm of desire inside her, but she is uneasy. The house is too quiet. She picks up the fallen cup and saucer and uses her cloth napkin to wipe the spilled tea on the table. “Listen,” she says, “can I call you back? I’m with my grandparents and I really
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