can stop me.
I leave Michelle in the woods and head for the Refron plant in Jersey.
****
I set the last charge onto the side of the giant fuel tank with a thunk and fix it in place with a ragged strip of duct tape. With tens of thousands of tons of compressed gas and all the raw sweet crude around here, things are going to get real hot. I’m going to see herclear as day. Hear her voice loud and strong. Maybe be able to touch her.
I clomp down the steel stairs and hurry to the next massive storage tank.
Wheels rumble on the metal flooring. A scruffy janitor pushing his cart waves to me. I hold up one of the pass cards and spit out an improvised line. “Inspection deadline.”
He smiles feebly, his mouth full of broken and yellowed teeth. “At least I’m not the only one working late,” he says.
“Anyone else here?” I ask.
“You mean Burt? He covers zone two and the front, but he’s always late.”
I picture the fireman pulling bodies from charred wreckage. Does it matter if a couple of janitors get fried? The thruway is only a hundred yards or so away, but the cars will be safe enough if this whole place blows. Won’t they?
I should just go home. Take a cold shower. Think it over. Make sure. But I have to hear her. Will she wait?
I dial Nadja. She’ll know what to do.
“Bill?” she asks, then whispers. “It’s him. It’s him.”
Voices murmur in the background.
“Where are you?” she asks.
“I’m okay, honey. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. I’m not like that monster. I’m different. I’m so close now. I can almost hear her.”
“Who? What? Never mind. Just come home, honey. Everything’s going to be fine. I can get you help.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been home for dinner lately. For everything, really. I just have to do this, then everything’s going to be okay.”
“Bill whatever you are thinking, don’t do it. Just come home, everything will be fine.”
She’s right. Everything will be fine. Crisping a couple of shit sweepers doesn’t count.
“Remember, I didn’t want to hurt anybody.”
“Bill, I love—”
I hang up the phone, hit the timer, and run.
I don’t stop until I clear the maze of tanks. I stand in the fueling lot among the jumbo tanker trucks where I have a great view. Any second now.
A plume of red shoots into the sky. A glorious burning pillar reaches for the heavens.
Flames blossom everywhere. Tanks explode. A chain of deafening bangs and booms moves closer.
Heat washes over me and I choke my last breath as the inferno robs the air of oxygen. A roaring wall of fire rushes to the fuel yard. Yellow. Orange. Then nothing but red.
****
“Tell me. Tell me,” I beg. The pain is gone but I burn, just a thin finger of flame in the inferno.
Fire Girl laughs. She isn’t slinky and slender anymore. She looks sort of like my little Allie.
“What do you want to hear?” she asks. “Should I call you Daddy and say I want you to burn like I did?”
I feel myself flickering out. Any second now there will be only black.
I fight for focus. “You’re not my daughter, and I’m not like the Red River guy,” I say.
“No. You’re as different as can be. Right before the current fried his brain and I asked him where the spark would jump, he thought of you, right away. No fighting at all.”
I just want to burn. To merge into the red. To fold into the yellow and orange. “I’m a good guy,” I manage to say. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“You’re almost spent now. One more thing left for you to do before you go. Show me where the spark will jump next.”
“You’re not Allie. Why don’t you dance, like before? Tell me why? Why did all of this happen?”
She cups her breasts, flicks her tongue, and bursts into the slender silhouette of flame I knew.
“She was such pretty fuel,” she says.
I’ve been sloppy. Bought what Fire Girl was
I leave Michelle in the woods and head for the Refron plant in Jersey.
****
I set the last charge onto the side of the giant fuel tank with a thunk and fix it in place with a ragged strip of duct tape. With tens of thousands of tons of compressed gas and all the raw sweet crude around here, things are going to get real hot. I’m going to see herclear as day. Hear her voice loud and strong. Maybe be able to touch her.
I clomp down the steel stairs and hurry to the next massive storage tank.
Wheels rumble on the metal flooring. A scruffy janitor pushing his cart waves to me. I hold up one of the pass cards and spit out an improvised line. “Inspection deadline.”
He smiles feebly, his mouth full of broken and yellowed teeth. “At least I’m not the only one working late,” he says.
“Anyone else here?” I ask.
“You mean Burt? He covers zone two and the front, but he’s always late.”
I picture the fireman pulling bodies from charred wreckage. Does it matter if a couple of janitors get fried? The thruway is only a hundred yards or so away, but the cars will be safe enough if this whole place blows. Won’t they?
I should just go home. Take a cold shower. Think it over. Make sure. But I have to hear her. Will she wait?
I dial Nadja. She’ll know what to do.
“Bill?” she asks, then whispers. “It’s him. It’s him.”
Voices murmur in the background.
“Where are you?” she asks.
“I’m okay, honey. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. I’m not like that monster. I’m different. I’m so close now. I can almost hear her.”
“Who? What? Never mind. Just come home, honey. Everything’s going to be fine. I can get you help.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been home for dinner lately. For everything, really. I just have to do this, then everything’s going to be okay.”
“Bill whatever you are thinking, don’t do it. Just come home, everything will be fine.”
She’s right. Everything will be fine. Crisping a couple of shit sweepers doesn’t count.
“Remember, I didn’t want to hurt anybody.”
“Bill, I love—”
I hang up the phone, hit the timer, and run.
I don’t stop until I clear the maze of tanks. I stand in the fueling lot among the jumbo tanker trucks where I have a great view. Any second now.
A plume of red shoots into the sky. A glorious burning pillar reaches for the heavens.
Flames blossom everywhere. Tanks explode. A chain of deafening bangs and booms moves closer.
Heat washes over me and I choke my last breath as the inferno robs the air of oxygen. A roaring wall of fire rushes to the fuel yard. Yellow. Orange. Then nothing but red.
****
“Tell me. Tell me,” I beg. The pain is gone but I burn, just a thin finger of flame in the inferno.
Fire Girl laughs. She isn’t slinky and slender anymore. She looks sort of like my little Allie.
“What do you want to hear?” she asks. “Should I call you Daddy and say I want you to burn like I did?”
I feel myself flickering out. Any second now there will be only black.
I fight for focus. “You’re not my daughter, and I’m not like the Red River guy,” I say.
“No. You’re as different as can be. Right before the current fried his brain and I asked him where the spark would jump, he thought of you, right away. No fighting at all.”
I just want to burn. To merge into the red. To fold into the yellow and orange. “I’m a good guy,” I manage to say. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“You’re almost spent now. One more thing left for you to do before you go. Show me where the spark will jump next.”
“You’re not Allie. Why don’t you dance, like before? Tell me why? Why did all of this happen?”
She cups her breasts, flicks her tongue, and bursts into the slender silhouette of flame I knew.
“She was such pretty fuel,” she says.
I’ve been sloppy. Bought what Fire Girl was
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