her mother had talked Rosie into going to the
doctor, which was so dumb. Doctors helped you.
She wasn’t supposed to know about Rosie, but Beth Ann was
excellent at finding places to hear important facts adults wanted to hide.
Sometimes she was sorry later—like the night her mom and
grandma had argued about Beth Ann’s dad, with her mom saying he was mentally
disturbed and Grandma Price saying her mom exaggerated. It
was an accident. You were both struggling. You hit your head.
I know what I saw, her mother had
snapped. He had murder in his eyes.
Murder in his eyes. That made Beth
Ann feel as cold inside as if she’d gulped a whole ICEE at once.
Had her dad wanted to kill her
mom?
But her dad adored her mom and Beth
Ann. He used to say so constantly, his eyes all watery with love. Her mom said
he’d hidden his bad side from them, and that was even scarier. Did everyone have
a bad side?
That made Beth Ann’s stomach jump, and it started the black
blob in her brain that surged whenever she thought about The Terrible Thing.
She pushed it away and focused on Louis, who walked right up to
the bowl without even looking at her. He trusted her.
His pink tongue made a cute lapping sound. Her heart pinched
with love. She couldn’t wait to pet him. She longed to lift him onto her lap,
brush the dust from his fur and make it shiny.
Beth Ann rocked side to side on her butt cheeks, inching
forward. The pine needles crackled.
Louis froze and stared at her. After a few seconds, he went
back to the cream, his tongue slow at first, then quick, quick, quick. She moved
more. This time only his ear twitched.
Two more moves and Beth Ann was close enough to touch him, but
she decided to be a bit more patient just in case.
She could do it. She had self-control now.
She hadn’t had self-control when she was six. If she had, she
wouldn’t have been so greedy for ice cream that she’d let her dad in the house
for Family Night and caused The Terrible Thing.
She pushed away that thought and stared at Louis. Before long,
he’d cleaned the bowl. He looked straight at her, thank
you shining from his one golden eye. She smiled back.
He licked his one front paw, then rubbed it over his face again
and again, washing it. That was so cute her heart squeezed.
She let her hand come out slowly. Louis leaned out and sniffed
it, then licked her finger, his tongue like the scrub side of the kitchen
sponge.
Then he rubbed his cheek against her finger and her heart
melted totally. She wanted to hold him, to promise to protect him and take care
of him.
Her mother was always trying that with Beth Ann, but Beth Ann
couldn’t let her. It would be cheating.
Sometimes, when the dreams got bad, Beth Ann had to fight hard
to keep from throwing her arms around her mother’s neck and crying and crying.
She had to be strict with herself. She had to take care of her own sadness. She
didn’t deserve to be hugged and patted.
But here was Louis and she could help him if he’d only let her.
Beth Ann reached out, but Louis shot off, a black blur against the trees, almost
like he didn’t think he deserved her hugs either.
That made her want to talk to Serena again. Rosie’s throwaway
phone had had fifty-five minutes of talk time. So far, Beth Ann had only used
ten on two calls to Serena. “No llores,” Serena had
said the first time. Don’t cry. But Serena had been
crying, too. Talking to Serena had made Beth Ann feel stronger and calmer, so
she wasn’t sorry she’d done it. Serena pinky-swore to keep the calls a secret
and Beth Ann knew she would.
Beth Ann picked up the bowl and started for Jonah’s shop. She’d
already made one box. Today, he’d promised to show her how to make one with
secret buttons to open it. She wanted to hide her phone in the box.
“Hey, Jonah!” she called, stepping into the shop. She liked
being here. She liked the wood smell, the flecks of wood floating in the
sunlight through the windows, the
doctor, which was so dumb. Doctors helped you.
She wasn’t supposed to know about Rosie, but Beth Ann was
excellent at finding places to hear important facts adults wanted to hide.
Sometimes she was sorry later—like the night her mom and
grandma had argued about Beth Ann’s dad, with her mom saying he was mentally
disturbed and Grandma Price saying her mom exaggerated. It
was an accident. You were both struggling. You hit your head.
I know what I saw, her mother had
snapped. He had murder in his eyes.
Murder in his eyes. That made Beth
Ann feel as cold inside as if she’d gulped a whole ICEE at once.
Had her dad wanted to kill her
mom?
But her dad adored her mom and Beth
Ann. He used to say so constantly, his eyes all watery with love. Her mom said
he’d hidden his bad side from them, and that was even scarier. Did everyone have
a bad side?
That made Beth Ann’s stomach jump, and it started the black
blob in her brain that surged whenever she thought about The Terrible Thing.
She pushed it away and focused on Louis, who walked right up to
the bowl without even looking at her. He trusted her.
His pink tongue made a cute lapping sound. Her heart pinched
with love. She couldn’t wait to pet him. She longed to lift him onto her lap,
brush the dust from his fur and make it shiny.
Beth Ann rocked side to side on her butt cheeks, inching
forward. The pine needles crackled.
Louis froze and stared at her. After a few seconds, he went
back to the cream, his tongue slow at first, then quick, quick, quick. She moved
more. This time only his ear twitched.
Two more moves and Beth Ann was close enough to touch him, but
she decided to be a bit more patient just in case.
She could do it. She had self-control now.
She hadn’t had self-control when she was six. If she had, she
wouldn’t have been so greedy for ice cream that she’d let her dad in the house
for Family Night and caused The Terrible Thing.
She pushed away that thought and stared at Louis. Before long,
he’d cleaned the bowl. He looked straight at her, thank
you shining from his one golden eye. She smiled back.
He licked his one front paw, then rubbed it over his face again
and again, washing it. That was so cute her heart squeezed.
She let her hand come out slowly. Louis leaned out and sniffed
it, then licked her finger, his tongue like the scrub side of the kitchen
sponge.
Then he rubbed his cheek against her finger and her heart
melted totally. She wanted to hold him, to promise to protect him and take care
of him.
Her mother was always trying that with Beth Ann, but Beth Ann
couldn’t let her. It would be cheating.
Sometimes, when the dreams got bad, Beth Ann had to fight hard
to keep from throwing her arms around her mother’s neck and crying and crying.
She had to be strict with herself. She had to take care of her own sadness. She
didn’t deserve to be hugged and patted.
But here was Louis and she could help him if he’d only let her.
Beth Ann reached out, but Louis shot off, a black blur against the trees, almost
like he didn’t think he deserved her hugs either.
That made her want to talk to Serena again. Rosie’s throwaway
phone had had fifty-five minutes of talk time. So far, Beth Ann had only used
ten on two calls to Serena. “No llores,” Serena had
said the first time. Don’t cry. But Serena had been
crying, too. Talking to Serena had made Beth Ann feel stronger and calmer, so
she wasn’t sorry she’d done it. Serena pinky-swore to keep the calls a secret
and Beth Ann knew she would.
Beth Ann picked up the bowl and started for Jonah’s shop. She’d
already made one box. Today, he’d promised to show her how to make one with
secret buttons to open it. She wanted to hide her phone in the box.
“Hey, Jonah!” she called, stepping into the shop. She liked
being here. She liked the wood smell, the flecks of wood floating in the
sunlight through the windows, the
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