don’t know anything about that, ma’am,” said the man holding the dolly in a bored voice. “We’re just here to make the delivery. Do you want it or not?”
“Yes,” Grandma said, at the same time that Mom said, “No!”
At that moment, fortunately, Dad came home from the department where he works. He walked in and said to Mom, “I got your message. What’s the—”
Then he saw the stove, and the men from Home Depot, and Grandma. And he said, “Oh.”
The men holding the stove seemed relieved to see Dad, like maybe they thought, finally, here was someone they could ask what was going on.
“Where can we put this?” they wanted to know.
“Back on the truck,” Dad said. “That’s not the oven we ordered.”
“Thomas!” Grandma cried.
“Kids,” Mom said. “Get in my car. We’re going out for lunch.”
“Yay!” Mark and Kevin screamed. “McDonald’s!”
We almost never get to eat McDonald’s, because Momconsiders it junk food, and we aren’t supposed to have junk food. But sometimes, on special occasions—like now—one of my parents will break down and let us have a hamburger with a small order of fries and a milk—never a Coke. That day is always a good day.
But while we were feasting on this unexpected bounty, my day suddenly got a thousand times better, because Mom’s cell phone rang, and it was Mrs. Hauser to find out when we could stop by to see Lady Serena Archibald’s kittens, who had finally started to sprout some fur and open up their eyes.
“Well,” Mom said, looking at her watch. “How about now?”
I nearly choked on a fry. “Now? But we have school. And what about Dad and Grandma? Don’t you have to go home and see Dad and Grandma?”
“Now would be perfect,” Mom told Mrs. Hauser.
The next thing I knew, we were standing on the Hausers’ fancy front porch in the suburbs, ringing the doorbell, and Mom was telling Kevin and Mark that if they touched anything or embarrassed her in any way, she would makesure Grandma found out, and they could kiss any chance of getting their pirate book or dirt bike good-bye.
Then Mrs. Hauser was opening the door, looking very sophisticated (fifth-grade spelling word) in a beige silk pantsuit with little beige high heels with feathers on the toes. Mrs. Hauser always dressed up, even when she was just at home by herself like today. She also always wore a lot of perfume and makeup, including lip liner, which I saw Kevin staring at, even though It’s not polite to stare (this is a rule).
She screamed with happiness when she saw my mom and leaned over and kissed the air next to Mom’s face and said how happy she was to see her. Then she did the same thing to me. Then she told my brothers there were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on a plate in the kitchen, and that they should go help themselves, and pointed to where the kitchen was.
This was all my brothers needed to hear. They ran off and we didn’t see them for, like, half an hour.
“Now, Allie,” Mrs. Hauser said. Mrs. Hauser knows I want to be a vet, and so she talks to me about her cat likeI’m a grown-up, which I appreciate. “You can’t imagine how frightened I was these past few weeks. I mean, Lady Serena Archibald of course is an incredible kitty, as you know, but I had no idea whether or not she had any natural maternal instincts. But she’s been remarkable, just remarkable. Of course I made a nursery for her in the den, but she would have none of it, just none of it, and wouldn’t you know she carried every single one of those kittens upstairs in the middle of the night and put them in my closet right on top of my Manolos? Well, I always did know she had style—just not how much style! So that’s where they are now, and I suppose that’s where they intend on staying.”
As she’d been speaking, Mrs. Hauser was leading me and Mom up a wide circular staircase to the second floor of her house and through the thick cream-colored carpeting to her
“Yes,” Grandma said, at the same time that Mom said, “No!”
At that moment, fortunately, Dad came home from the department where he works. He walked in and said to Mom, “I got your message. What’s the—”
Then he saw the stove, and the men from Home Depot, and Grandma. And he said, “Oh.”
The men holding the stove seemed relieved to see Dad, like maybe they thought, finally, here was someone they could ask what was going on.
“Where can we put this?” they wanted to know.
“Back on the truck,” Dad said. “That’s not the oven we ordered.”
“Thomas!” Grandma cried.
“Kids,” Mom said. “Get in my car. We’re going out for lunch.”
“Yay!” Mark and Kevin screamed. “McDonald’s!”
We almost never get to eat McDonald’s, because Momconsiders it junk food, and we aren’t supposed to have junk food. But sometimes, on special occasions—like now—one of my parents will break down and let us have a hamburger with a small order of fries and a milk—never a Coke. That day is always a good day.
But while we were feasting on this unexpected bounty, my day suddenly got a thousand times better, because Mom’s cell phone rang, and it was Mrs. Hauser to find out when we could stop by to see Lady Serena Archibald’s kittens, who had finally started to sprout some fur and open up their eyes.
“Well,” Mom said, looking at her watch. “How about now?”
I nearly choked on a fry. “Now? But we have school. And what about Dad and Grandma? Don’t you have to go home and see Dad and Grandma?”
“Now would be perfect,” Mom told Mrs. Hauser.
The next thing I knew, we were standing on the Hausers’ fancy front porch in the suburbs, ringing the doorbell, and Mom was telling Kevin and Mark that if they touched anything or embarrassed her in any way, she would makesure Grandma found out, and they could kiss any chance of getting their pirate book or dirt bike good-bye.
Then Mrs. Hauser was opening the door, looking very sophisticated (fifth-grade spelling word) in a beige silk pantsuit with little beige high heels with feathers on the toes. Mrs. Hauser always dressed up, even when she was just at home by herself like today. She also always wore a lot of perfume and makeup, including lip liner, which I saw Kevin staring at, even though It’s not polite to stare (this is a rule).
She screamed with happiness when she saw my mom and leaned over and kissed the air next to Mom’s face and said how happy she was to see her. Then she did the same thing to me. Then she told my brothers there were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on a plate in the kitchen, and that they should go help themselves, and pointed to where the kitchen was.
This was all my brothers needed to hear. They ran off and we didn’t see them for, like, half an hour.
“Now, Allie,” Mrs. Hauser said. Mrs. Hauser knows I want to be a vet, and so she talks to me about her cat likeI’m a grown-up, which I appreciate. “You can’t imagine how frightened I was these past few weeks. I mean, Lady Serena Archibald of course is an incredible kitty, as you know, but I had no idea whether or not she had any natural maternal instincts. But she’s been remarkable, just remarkable. Of course I made a nursery for her in the den, but she would have none of it, just none of it, and wouldn’t you know she carried every single one of those kittens upstairs in the middle of the night and put them in my closet right on top of my Manolos? Well, I always did know she had style—just not how much style! So that’s where they are now, and I suppose that’s where they intend on staying.”
As she’d been speaking, Mrs. Hauser was leading me and Mom up a wide circular staircase to the second floor of her house and through the thick cream-colored carpeting to her
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