holding the naked sword at my side, the point of the blade only a finger’s breadth from the marble floor. And it was true. I felt it: the power in a thing to swell a tide of memory.
I sheathed the sword again, and faced Tariq. The boy indicated the chair beside him with a nod of his head. I sat once more, the sword balanced across my knees.
‘The text on the sword,’ I said. ‘I can’t read the Arabic.’
‘ Inna Lillahi wa inna –’ Tariq began in the poetry of the Koran.
‘– ilayhi raji’un ,’ I finished for him.
I knew the quote. We belong to God, and unto God do we return. Every Muslim gangster said it on the way into battle. We all said it, even if we weren’t Muslim, just in case.
The fact that I couldn’t even read the Arabic inscription on the ancestor-sword Khaderbhai had left to me was a bitter pinch on Tariq’s face. I sympathised with him: I agreed with him, in fact, that I didn’t deserve the sword, and couldn’t know the blood significance that the heirloom had for Tariq.
‘There was a letter among those papers we found in the Holy Book,’ he said, controlling every breath and word. ‘It was a letter to you.’
I felt the cobra rising within me. A letter. I didn’t want it. I don’t like letters. Any dark past is a vampire, feeding on the blood of the living moment, and letters are the bats.
‘We began to read it,’ Tariq said, ‘not knowing that it was addressed to you. It was not until halfway through it that we realised it was his last letter to you. We stopped reading immediately. We did not finish the letter. We do not know how it ends. But we know that it begins with Sri Lanka.’
Sometimes the river of life takes you to the rocks. The letter, the sword, the decisions made at the Council meeting, Don’t mistake your usefulness for your value , the Cycle Killers, guns from Goa, Sri Lanka: streams of coincidence and consequence. And when you see the rocks coming, you’ve got two choices: stay in the boat, or jump.
Nazeer handed Tariq the silver envelope. Tariq tapped it against his open palm.
‘My uncle’s gifts,’ he said, even more softly, ‘were always given with conditions, and never accepted without –’
‘Consequences,’ I finished for him.
‘I was going to say submission . This house was a gift in Khaderbhai’s will, but it was given to me on the condition that I never leave it, even for a minute, until I reach the age of eighteen years.’
I didn’t hide my shock. I wasn’t sensitive to what he was going through, and becoming.
‘ What? ’
‘It is not so bad,’ Tariq said, setting his jaw against my indignation. ‘All of my tutors come here, to me. I am learning everything. English, science, Islamic studies, economics, and the fighting arts. And Nazeer is always with me, and all of the household servants.’
‘But you’re fourteen years old, Tariq. You’ve got four more years of this? Do you ever meet any other kids?’
‘Men in my family fight and lead at fifteen years old,’ Tariq declared, glaring at me. ‘And even at this age, I am already living my destiny. Can you say the same of your life?’
Young determination is the strongest energy we ever have, alone. I didn’t want to criticise his commitment: I just wanted to be sure that he was aware of alternatives.
‘Tariq,’ I sighed. ‘I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.’
‘I will not simply follow in the footsteps of my uncle,’ he said slowly, as if I was the child, ‘I will become Khaderbhai, one day, and I will lead all of these men who were here today. Including you, Lin. I will be your leader. If you are still with us.’
I looked once more at Nazeer, who gazed back at me, a softly burning diamond of pride in his eyes. I began to walk away.
‘The letter!’ Tariq said quickly.
Suddenly angry, I spun round to face him again. I was about to speak, but Tariq raised the letter in his hand.
‘It begins with a mention of Sri
I sheathed the sword again, and faced Tariq. The boy indicated the chair beside him with a nod of his head. I sat once more, the sword balanced across my knees.
‘The text on the sword,’ I said. ‘I can’t read the Arabic.’
‘ Inna Lillahi wa inna –’ Tariq began in the poetry of the Koran.
‘– ilayhi raji’un ,’ I finished for him.
I knew the quote. We belong to God, and unto God do we return. Every Muslim gangster said it on the way into battle. We all said it, even if we weren’t Muslim, just in case.
The fact that I couldn’t even read the Arabic inscription on the ancestor-sword Khaderbhai had left to me was a bitter pinch on Tariq’s face. I sympathised with him: I agreed with him, in fact, that I didn’t deserve the sword, and couldn’t know the blood significance that the heirloom had for Tariq.
‘There was a letter among those papers we found in the Holy Book,’ he said, controlling every breath and word. ‘It was a letter to you.’
I felt the cobra rising within me. A letter. I didn’t want it. I don’t like letters. Any dark past is a vampire, feeding on the blood of the living moment, and letters are the bats.
‘We began to read it,’ Tariq said, ‘not knowing that it was addressed to you. It was not until halfway through it that we realised it was his last letter to you. We stopped reading immediately. We did not finish the letter. We do not know how it ends. But we know that it begins with Sri Lanka.’
Sometimes the river of life takes you to the rocks. The letter, the sword, the decisions made at the Council meeting, Don’t mistake your usefulness for your value , the Cycle Killers, guns from Goa, Sri Lanka: streams of coincidence and consequence. And when you see the rocks coming, you’ve got two choices: stay in the boat, or jump.
Nazeer handed Tariq the silver envelope. Tariq tapped it against his open palm.
‘My uncle’s gifts,’ he said, even more softly, ‘were always given with conditions, and never accepted without –’
‘Consequences,’ I finished for him.
‘I was going to say submission . This house was a gift in Khaderbhai’s will, but it was given to me on the condition that I never leave it, even for a minute, until I reach the age of eighteen years.’
I didn’t hide my shock. I wasn’t sensitive to what he was going through, and becoming.
‘ What? ’
‘It is not so bad,’ Tariq said, setting his jaw against my indignation. ‘All of my tutors come here, to me. I am learning everything. English, science, Islamic studies, economics, and the fighting arts. And Nazeer is always with me, and all of the household servants.’
‘But you’re fourteen years old, Tariq. You’ve got four more years of this? Do you ever meet any other kids?’
‘Men in my family fight and lead at fifteen years old,’ Tariq declared, glaring at me. ‘And even at this age, I am already living my destiny. Can you say the same of your life?’
Young determination is the strongest energy we ever have, alone. I didn’t want to criticise his commitment: I just wanted to be sure that he was aware of alternatives.
‘Tariq,’ I sighed. ‘I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.’
‘I will not simply follow in the footsteps of my uncle,’ he said slowly, as if I was the child, ‘I will become Khaderbhai, one day, and I will lead all of these men who were here today. Including you, Lin. I will be your leader. If you are still with us.’
I looked once more at Nazeer, who gazed back at me, a softly burning diamond of pride in his eyes. I began to walk away.
‘The letter!’ Tariq said quickly.
Suddenly angry, I spun round to face him again. I was about to speak, but Tariq raised the letter in his hand.
‘It begins with a mention of Sri
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