Larry Lockton fratting with the famous mostly
Mrs Thatcher. All round the room, busts of the great composers looked dourly down from their pedestals at such a visual mishmash.
Poor Marigold was in a frightful state. First she forgot the water for the whisky, then going back to fetch it, she forgot what she wanted it for, and proceeded to water a bowl of lurid pink hyacinths, not even noticing when it overflowed.
'At least you've got lots of flowers,' said Lysander looking around at the massed bunches of salmon-pink gladioli.
'Ay sent them to myself,' confessed Marigold, and burst into tears.
While Ferdie shot off to refill the jug and collect some kitchen roll, Lysander, who was beginning to feel really sorry for Marigold, asked her how she had found out about Larry's bimbo.
'It was at the office party in December. Ay always used to be the prettiest girl at office parties.' Grabbing a piece of kitchen roll, she thrust it into her eyes. 'All the bosses chased after me when we were first married, now Ay'm the old trout, what everyone has to suck up to because Ay'm the boss's waife.'
She blew her nose noisily and took a slug of the replenished vodka and tonic.
'May word, that's strong, Ferdie. Anyway, I was chattin' to the company secretary's wife when I looked across theroom and there was Nikki she's
Larry's PA sitting
on a leather sofa. Larry was standin' besaide her chattin' to the financial director and she was rubbin' his er the
front of his trousers.'
'Perhaps she was brushing off a bit of fluff,' said Lysander.
'She's the bit of fluff,' said Marigold disdainfully. 'Then Larry saw Ay was looking and kicked her on the shins. When Ay tackled him, he shouted that Ay was imaginin' things and should get some glasses. Next day Ay was so distraught, Ay'd just set off to the Distressed Gentlefolks AGM.'
Coals to Newcastle, thought Ferdie.
'Lady Chisleden was in the chair, I recall,' went on Marigold, 'and I got all the way to Rutminster before I realized I'd forgotten the minutes. I always type them, I used to be a secretary, so I rushed home. Patch came running down the stairs, which is unusual, she always stays in her basket in the kitchen if we go out, so I ran upstairs. I'd just had the guest bedroom redecorated in peach Dray Ion, with peach damask curtains, and Ay thought Ay'd take another peek, it looked so lovely, and Ay caught them at it.'
'How awful,' said Lysander, appalled. 'What did you do?'
'Ay was so shocked, Ay said, "I've just had this room redecorated." And Nikki asked why didn't Ay have the walls dragged. Ay said, "Ay don't care for draggin', it always looks as though it should have another coat." Then Ay said, "How long have you been sleepin' with may husband?" She said, "Ay must just look it up in may faylo-fax," the cheeky cow.'
'What's she like?' asked Lysander. Seeing Marigold was shivering he got up and put more logs on the fire.
'Nikki? Spelt with a double K for Kleptomania, only she lifts husbands rather than shops,' Marigold sniffed. 'She looks like one of those girls who guides folk towards wheels of fortune in game shows. Very, very pretty, in fact she's so pretty Ay never suspected she'd be interested in may Larry. Ay thought the only woman Larry admired was Margaret Thatcher. Nikki asked me why Ay didn't have the walls dragged.'
'You told us that,' said Ferdie, who was anxious to get down to business.
'Ay'm sorry, I keep repeatin' myself. I trayed so hard to be a good wife. I got lonely in the country, but I kept busy with may committees, and Ay always washed may hair on Frayday and had a candlelit dinner waitin' for Larry when he got back from town.' She started to cry again.
'I wish someone would do that for me.' Lysander reached for more kitchen roll.
'I worked so hard in the early years,
Mrs Thatcher. All round the room, busts of the great composers looked dourly down from their pedestals at such a visual mishmash.
Poor Marigold was in a frightful state. First she forgot the water for the whisky, then going back to fetch it, she forgot what she wanted it for, and proceeded to water a bowl of lurid pink hyacinths, not even noticing when it overflowed.
'At least you've got lots of flowers,' said Lysander looking around at the massed bunches of salmon-pink gladioli.
'Ay sent them to myself,' confessed Marigold, and burst into tears.
While Ferdie shot off to refill the jug and collect some kitchen roll, Lysander, who was beginning to feel really sorry for Marigold, asked her how she had found out about Larry's bimbo.
'It was at the office party in December. Ay always used to be the prettiest girl at office parties.' Grabbing a piece of kitchen roll, she thrust it into her eyes. 'All the bosses chased after me when we were first married, now Ay'm the old trout, what everyone has to suck up to because Ay'm the boss's waife.'
She blew her nose noisily and took a slug of the replenished vodka and tonic.
'May word, that's strong, Ferdie. Anyway, I was chattin' to the company secretary's wife when I looked across theroom and there was Nikki she's
Larry's PA sitting
on a leather sofa. Larry was standin' besaide her chattin' to the financial director and she was rubbin' his er the
front of his trousers.'
'Perhaps she was brushing off a bit of fluff,' said Lysander.
'She's the bit of fluff,' said Marigold disdainfully. 'Then Larry saw Ay was looking and kicked her on the shins. When Ay tackled him, he shouted that Ay was imaginin' things and should get some glasses. Next day Ay was so distraught, Ay'd just set off to the Distressed Gentlefolks AGM.'
Coals to Newcastle, thought Ferdie.
'Lady Chisleden was in the chair, I recall,' went on Marigold, 'and I got all the way to Rutminster before I realized I'd forgotten the minutes. I always type them, I used to be a secretary, so I rushed home. Patch came running down the stairs, which is unusual, she always stays in her basket in the kitchen if we go out, so I ran upstairs. I'd just had the guest bedroom redecorated in peach Dray Ion, with peach damask curtains, and Ay thought Ay'd take another peek, it looked so lovely, and Ay caught them at it.'
'How awful,' said Lysander, appalled. 'What did you do?'
'Ay was so shocked, Ay said, "I've just had this room redecorated." And Nikki asked why didn't Ay have the walls dragged. Ay said, "Ay don't care for draggin', it always looks as though it should have another coat." Then Ay said, "How long have you been sleepin' with may husband?" She said, "Ay must just look it up in may faylo-fax," the cheeky cow.'
'What's she like?' asked Lysander. Seeing Marigold was shivering he got up and put more logs on the fire.
'Nikki? Spelt with a double K for Kleptomania, only she lifts husbands rather than shops,' Marigold sniffed. 'She looks like one of those girls who guides folk towards wheels of fortune in game shows. Very, very pretty, in fact she's so pretty Ay never suspected she'd be interested in may Larry. Ay thought the only woman Larry admired was Margaret Thatcher. Nikki asked me why Ay didn't have the walls dragged.'
'You told us that,' said Ferdie, who was anxious to get down to business.
'Ay'm sorry, I keep repeatin' myself. I trayed so hard to be a good wife. I got lonely in the country, but I kept busy with may committees, and Ay always washed may hair on Frayday and had a candlelit dinner waitin' for Larry when he got back from town.' She started to cry again.
'I wish someone would do that for me.' Lysander reached for more kitchen roll.
'I worked so hard in the early years,
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