average, more than half their time in daydreams.
Only one in five of the daydreamers saw daydreaming as harmless â the rest had tried to stop. A quarter described the activity as addiction, obsession or compulsion. âI have tried to limit my daydreaming in the past,â one said.
I tried hard to just focus on what was around me and keep in mind only real people, things and events that were happening in the here and now. It was a battle. Me against my daydreams. They won.
Thereâs more. Do you check your partnerâs underwear to find traces of his/her sexual intercourse? Do you check up on his/her way of dressing up if he/she goes out on his/her own? Those are questions 29 and 30 of a âQuestionnaire of Jealousyâ prepared by scientists at the University of Pisa. It aims to probe a mental syndrome called obsessional jealousy; others have labelled it non-delusional pathological jealousy, and have framed it as an obsessive-compulsive spectrum disorder. People with non-delusional pathological jealousy show similar behaviours to OCD. They respond to intrusive thoughts with excessive checks and requests for reassurance. And they avoid situations that might provoke the thoughts â for example, they can keep their partner in the house so they canât meet potential suitors.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
When you add that lot up then OCD doesnât seem quite so rare and unusual. You almost certainly know someone affected. Yet people with these OCD spectrum disorders have something else in common besides their thoughts and urges. They donât tend to bring their problems up in conversation. Their conditions are socially unacceptable because they often centre on shameful and taboo subjects. Sufferers assume their dark, intrusive thoughts reveal their true nature: someone who thinks such things must be mad, bad and dangerous to know. That phrase is overfamiliar through repetition, but look again at the power of the individual adjectives.
I tried often to talk about my fear of HIV with friends. I didnât admit my worries that I had caught it from, say, a mix-up of our toothbrushes in our shared bathroom, I kept the details vague. But I thought it might help to bring up the subject more generally: âSo what about that Aids stuff then, thatâs all a bit scary eh?â The usual response was a nudge and a wink and a knowing smile. âSo, who was she?â Even today when I tell people I have had a persistent fear of HIV since my teenage years they assume it was because I was promiscuous. Hardly. My OCD was something of a passion killer.
People talk about the stigma of mental illness, and they are right to do so. While it is considered fine, encouraged even, for those with a bad cold or an upset stomach to offer details of their ailment in great detail, to bring up the subject of mental health is often not just a passion killer, itâs a conversation killer. Awkward silences and awkward glances tend to follow. I have hidden it when I have applied for jobs. Do you have a mental illness? Well, which box would you tick?
The stigma is less now for some mental disorders, such as depression. People sometimes talk about how anxious they are as if itâs the inevitable cost of a busy and enviable life. We are encouraged to discuss schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in less suspicious tones. But we have some way to go with OCD. As weâve seen, most people donât talk about even their most fleeting intrusive thoughts, because they fear they might be labelled as violent or perverted. So how does one begin to tell the neighbours that one is obsessed that one will sodomize their pet rabbit? Or confess to school friends oneâs obsessive thoughts that one will turn into a rat, and so one checks compulsively for signs of a tail? Those are both genuine cases of people who sought help for OCD. Which box would you tick?
Â
SIX
Cruel to be kind
In his book on depression The
Only one in five of the daydreamers saw daydreaming as harmless â the rest had tried to stop. A quarter described the activity as addiction, obsession or compulsion. âI have tried to limit my daydreaming in the past,â one said.
I tried hard to just focus on what was around me and keep in mind only real people, things and events that were happening in the here and now. It was a battle. Me against my daydreams. They won.
Thereâs more. Do you check your partnerâs underwear to find traces of his/her sexual intercourse? Do you check up on his/her way of dressing up if he/she goes out on his/her own? Those are questions 29 and 30 of a âQuestionnaire of Jealousyâ prepared by scientists at the University of Pisa. It aims to probe a mental syndrome called obsessional jealousy; others have labelled it non-delusional pathological jealousy, and have framed it as an obsessive-compulsive spectrum disorder. People with non-delusional pathological jealousy show similar behaviours to OCD. They respond to intrusive thoughts with excessive checks and requests for reassurance. And they avoid situations that might provoke the thoughts â for example, they can keep their partner in the house so they canât meet potential suitors.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
When you add that lot up then OCD doesnât seem quite so rare and unusual. You almost certainly know someone affected. Yet people with these OCD spectrum disorders have something else in common besides their thoughts and urges. They donât tend to bring their problems up in conversation. Their conditions are socially unacceptable because they often centre on shameful and taboo subjects. Sufferers assume their dark, intrusive thoughts reveal their true nature: someone who thinks such things must be mad, bad and dangerous to know. That phrase is overfamiliar through repetition, but look again at the power of the individual adjectives.
I tried often to talk about my fear of HIV with friends. I didnât admit my worries that I had caught it from, say, a mix-up of our toothbrushes in our shared bathroom, I kept the details vague. But I thought it might help to bring up the subject more generally: âSo what about that Aids stuff then, thatâs all a bit scary eh?â The usual response was a nudge and a wink and a knowing smile. âSo, who was she?â Even today when I tell people I have had a persistent fear of HIV since my teenage years they assume it was because I was promiscuous. Hardly. My OCD was something of a passion killer.
People talk about the stigma of mental illness, and they are right to do so. While it is considered fine, encouraged even, for those with a bad cold or an upset stomach to offer details of their ailment in great detail, to bring up the subject of mental health is often not just a passion killer, itâs a conversation killer. Awkward silences and awkward glances tend to follow. I have hidden it when I have applied for jobs. Do you have a mental illness? Well, which box would you tick?
The stigma is less now for some mental disorders, such as depression. People sometimes talk about how anxious they are as if itâs the inevitable cost of a busy and enviable life. We are encouraged to discuss schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in less suspicious tones. But we have some way to go with OCD. As weâve seen, most people donât talk about even their most fleeting intrusive thoughts, because they fear they might be labelled as violent or perverted. So how does one begin to tell the neighbours that one is obsessed that one will sodomize their pet rabbit? Or confess to school friends oneâs obsessive thoughts that one will turn into a rat, and so one checks compulsively for signs of a tail? Those are both genuine cases of people who sought help for OCD. Which box would you tick?
Â
SIX
Cruel to be kind
In his book on depression The
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