The Man Who Ate Everything

The Man Who Ate Everything by Jeffrey Steingarten Page A

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Authors: Jeffrey Steingarten
Tags: Humor, Non-Fiction, Memoir, Autobiography
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oranges that have been degreened with ethylene to make you feel warmer toward them have a shorter storage life. Don’t mind surface scars and scratches; but soft spots spell decay. If the tiny flower-shaped button at one end of an orange is green, it was picked recently or handled well or both; a brittle, dark button indicates the opposite.
    Mature watermelons are well rounded on both ends with dark, waxy rinds, firm but not hard. In a cut piece of melon, the seeds should be dark against intensely colored flesh without white streaks—which makes it much safer to choose a piece of cut watermelon. White seeds are a sign of immaturity.
    Category Two contains the one fruit that stands at the opposite extreme. It ripens only after you pick it because a chemical signal sent out by the tree inhibits ripening. It is the avocado. The best way to store an avocado is on the tree. The second-best way is in the refrigerator for up to ten days after you’ve ripened it at room temperature—but only until the fruit yields to gentle pressure, before the skin loosens.
    15. How can you call the avocado a fruit if a fruit is an ovary we eat for dessert, and I eat avocados in guacamole and in California rolls at Americanized sushi bars? Do you eat California rolls for dessert?
    I don’t eat California rolls under any circumstances. But Brazilians eat avocados for dessert, mashed up with sugar.
    16. And the last three categories of fruit do ripen after harvest?
    Yes. They are all climacteric fruits, and as long as they are picked fully mature in size and shape, they will ripen to some extent and in some ways.
    Category Three includes fruits that ripen in color, texture, and juiciness but do not improve in sweetness or flavor. These include apricots, blueberries, cantaloupes, casabas, crenshaws, figs, hon-eydews, nectarines, passion fruit, peaches, Persian melons, persimmons, and plums. They will not grow much sweeter after harvest because they contain no starch to turn into sugar. When you ripen them at home, the most you can expect is an attractive, juicy fruit no more flavorful than the day it was picked. If you’re lucky.
    But you must buy them physically mature. Mature peaches, nectarines, plums, and apricots have fully developed shoulders (the rounded area around the stem) and sutures (the seam that runs along one side); they have just begun to soften; and the background color of their skin shows no trace of green (except for green varieties). Pay no attention to the rosy blush—it is the background color that matters. You should buy apricots ready to eat, but peaches, nectarines, and plums can be ripened at room temperature in a paper bag.
    Category Four is for fruits that do get sweeter after harvest— apples, cherimoyas, kiwis, mangoes, papayas, pears, sapotes, and soursops. As they mature, they convert sugars from the plant’s leaves into starch; during ripening, they convert these starch reserves back into sugar and will grow sweeter, on the tree or off. They are the darlings of commerce because they can be picked mature but unripe, and the advance of ripening can be arrested by refrigeration, sometimes in a controlled atmosphere low in oxygen. Apples and pears do especially well. Pears, in fact, become mushy and mealy when ripened completely on the tree; a period of cool storage before final ripening improves their texture. We are very lucky that pears can be stored, because a ripe pear stays perfect for less than a day.
    Most apples in North America are harvested between July and November; cold storage makes them available year-round, often to the detriment of flavor and crispness. Long cold storage followed by ethylene ripening has been shown to produce kiwifruit with less sugar, bananas with less flavor, and apples and pears with less of both.
    Buy mangoes when at least some of the green has turned yellow or red (unless you have run across the evergreen variety); avoid those with black spots, which may later penetrate the

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