down."
"I'm not going to sit down. You get up." He pulled her to her feet; then held her at arm's length, saying, "Look at you! Your skirt's covered with dust and ..."
"Well, that shows that this place has never had a clean out for a long, long time, and' she looked about her 'you know, a lot of use could have been made of these rooms. There're three good size ones besides the small one along the passage."
"I know the number of rooms that are up here, but we've got enough downstairs to see to."
9i
She now pulled herself from his arms and, going to an old basket chair that was propped against the wall, she sat down on it, then beckoned him to her, saying, "Bring that box and sit down; I want to talk to you."
When with a loud sigh he carried out her bidding, she caught hold of his hands, then began to rub them, saying, "You're cold." To which he answered, "Of course, I'm cold: it's freezing up here, it's raining outside, the wind's howling. I've been wet through; Billy's in a
temper; the boy's got a cough and has been in bed all day. As for
Annie, no ... no, don't let me talk about Annie. And now here's
you."
"Yes, here's me." She nodded at him.
"And I, sir, I must confess, am . well, I think the word is devious, I'm a devious woman."
"What are you talking about? What's the matter with you? Come on downstairs."
"Ward Her voice checked him, because there was no banter in it now as she said, " Not knowing about these things and having no-one to talk to, even Mrs. Killjoy didn't discuss her personal matters, I . I had to be sure, and now I am. I am going to have a baby. Ward. "
He sat motionless; but when eventually he moved it was not to thrust out his arms and pull her roughly to him, but slowly to lean forward and to rest his head on her lap and as slowly to place his hand gently upon her stomach. There was no way he could speak, for at this moment it was impossible for him to express what he was feeling: he had been married six months and he had felt that his loving would surely have created a child long before now, and there had been times when she had lain asleep in his arms and he had wondered if there might be something lacking in his make-up: he himself had been the only offspring of his mother and father, and they themselves had each been an only child. And so he had asked himself, was the line running out?
Did these things happen? But now she was carrying his child, this
beautiful, beautiful girl, as he still thought of her, because
sometimes he just couldn't believe that she was his wife, a young woman of twenty now. She was so slight, even ethereal. At times, when he watched her from a distance it looked as if a puff of wind would blow her away. All her movements, too, were quick and light.
Often he was surprised by the way she spoke: her voice didn't match her body, or her face, and there was a surprising and unaccustomed depth to her mind.
As she stroked his hair, there was a strong desire in him to cry as any woman might. She didn't ask the silly question, "Are you pleased?"
but rather, with that practical side of her, she said, "You are cold.
Let us go down. I . I want to tell Annie, too. "
He rose from the box; and now he picked her up in his arms as he often did; but at the top of the attic stairs she began to laugh and shake in his hold, saying, "You had better not try to go down there, because we'll get stuck."
At this, he joined his laughter to hers and put her on to her feet.
Still he hadn't spoken, not a word, and not until they were opposite the bedroom door did he push her slightly away from him, saying, "Well, go down now and tell Annie." And with this, he turned from her and went into the bedroom; and wisely and without murmur she went down the stairs to the kitchen.
The door shut, he stood with his back to it, his hand pressed tight across his eyes, and there was, at this moment, a deep shame in him, for he had never cried in his life; nor had he seen his father cry, not even
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