The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore Page A

talk to you, okay? Over here, okay?" She didn't want to tell him why. What if the eyes weren't there? What if it was just a trailer? She'd be on her way to County in a heartbeat.
    "They're not home then?" Theo said, pointing over his shoulder to the dragon trailer. He was staring at her now, at the same time trying not to stare. He had a goofy grin on his face, the same sort Molly had seen on the kid right before he got slurped.
    "Nope, gone all day."
    "What's with the sword?
    Oh shit! She forgot she'd grabbed the sword on the way out. "I was just making some stir-fry.
    Chopping up some veggies."
    "That ought to do it."
    "Broccoli stems," she said, as if that explained everything. He was looking at the leather bikini, and she watched his eyes stop on the scar above her breast, then look away. She covered the scar with her hand."One of my old Kendra costumes. Everything else is in the dryer."
    "Sure. Hey, you don't get the Times, do you?"
    "Nope.Why?"
    "The kid that delivers it, Mikey Plotznik, left for his route this morning and no one has seen him since.
    Looks like the last paper he delivered was a few doors down. You didn't happen to see him, did you?"
    "About ten, blond kid.Rollerblades?Kinda evil?"
    "That's him."
    "Nope, haven't seen him." She watched the eyes of the dragon trailer close behind Theo and took a deep breath.
    "You seem a little tense, Molly. You okay?"
    "Fine, fine, just wanted to get back to my stir-fry.You hungry?"
    "Did Val Riordan get hold of you?"
    "Yep, she called. I'm not nuts."
    "Of course not.I'd like you to keep an eye out for this kid, Molly. One of his buddies fessed up that Mikey had a little bit of an obsession with you."
    "Me? No kidding?"
    "He might be creeping around your trailer."
    "Really?"
    "If you see him, give me a call, would you? His folks are worried about him."
    "I'll do that."
    "Thanks. And ask your neighbors when they get home, would you?"
    "You betcha."Molly realized he was stalling.Just staring at her with that goofy grin on his face. "They just moved in. I don't know them very well, but I'll ask."
    "Thanks." He said, still just standing there, like a twelve-year-old ready to make an assault on the wallflowers at his first dance.
    "I'd better go, Theo. I have broccoli in the dryer." No, she had wanted to say she had to get back to dinner, or to her laundry, not both.
    "Okay. See ya."
    She ran into her trailer, slammed the door, and leaned against it. Through the window she could see the dragon trailer open an eye and close it quickly. She could have sworn it was winking at her.
    Theo A niggling voice in Theo's head told him that finding the Crazy Lady attractive – extremely attractive – was an indicator that he was less than sane himself. On the other hand, he didn't feel that bad about it.
    He didn't feel bad about anything, not since he'd walked into the trailer park anyway. He had to deal with an explosion, a lost kid, the recent increase in general nuttiness in town – a virtual shit storm of responsibility – but he didn't feel all that bad. And in that moment outside of Molly's trailer, reflecting and waiting for the tide of lust to ebb, he realized that he hadn't smoked any pot all day.Strange. Normally this long without nursing from his Sneaky Pete and his skin would be crawling.
    He was heading back to his Volvo to resume the search for the lost boy when his cell phone rang.
    Sheriff John Burton didn't say hello.
    "Get to a land line,"Burton said.
    "I'm in the middle of trying to find a lost kid," Theo replied.
    "A land line now, Crowe.My private line. You have five minutes."
    Theo drove to a pay phone outside the Head of the Slug Saloon and checked his watch. When fifteen minutes had passed, he dialedBurton 's number.
    "I said five minutes."
    "Yes, you did." Theo smiled to himself in spite ofBurton 's tone, which was on the verge of screaming.
    "No one goes on the ranch, Crowe. The lost kid is not on the ranch, do you hear me?"
    "It's standard procedure to