for that. Steroids seemed an insignificant price. Now look!’ He barked out a laugh. ‘And of course I didn’t even make it to the Games. My shoulder popped on me!’
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Gaille.
Nico waved away her concern. ‘My own fault. I was a cheat. People keep telling me that I was just a child, too young to make such decisions for myself, that my…my coach must have bullied me into it. But I wasn’t that young. I knew full well it was cheating. Why else all those furtive trips to our training camps in East Germany? Why else all the sworn secrecy? I didn’t care a jot. In fact, I was more eager than anyone. I insisted on it. I thought I was destined, you see. Besides, I’m still alive, aren’t I?’ He spoke in short bursts, and out of one side of his mouth, leaving the other free for eating. He reached across the table with a crust of lavishly buttered bread, scooped up a scallop. ‘It’s my old team-mates I feel sorriest for. They all went long ago. Heart disease from those damned steroids. All but one, at least. He couldn’t bear the waiting any longer, so he used painkillersinstead. It can be a terrible thing, waiting.’ He smiled more brightly, crunched his way through a grilled sardine. ‘That’s one reason I do these conferences. They give me something to think about. Having a purpose, that’s the key. And it seems to work. My doctors keep assuring me I only have a few months left, but then they first told me that seven years ago. So what do they know?’ He laughed and waved a hand. ‘And once you accept the notion, once you get past the dread , it’s strangely liberating. No painkillers for me, that’s for sure. I plan to make the most of what I have left.’ He reached across the table for the stuffed crab. ‘Everyone keeps trying to put me on a regime . “You mustn’t smoke,” they tell me. “You mustn’t drink. You mustn’t eat so much.” “Why on earth not?” I ask. “I’m doomed anyway, aren’t I? Can’t I at least enjoy myself while I wait?”’ He laughed again, speared some octopus with his fork, chasing the oily coriander sauce around the dish until it glistened and dripped, then chewed hungrily upon it.
‘You take it very well,’ observed Knox. ‘If that had happened to me, I’d have wanted to kill my coach.’
‘Yes, well,’ shrugged Nico. ‘He didn’t know the damage steroids would do. No one did back then.’
‘You were only a child,’ said Gaille angrily. ‘He had a responsibility.’
‘It’s history now.’
‘How can you say that? Is he still alive, this coach of yours?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you still see him?’
He shook his head, from the look of him wishing he hadn’t raised the subject. ‘We had a falling out,’ he said. ‘When Tomas died. My friend Tomas. The one who took the painkillers. My coach…he gave one of the eulogies at his funeral. All those fine words. I don’t know, I didn’t believe them, I suppose; or perhaps I was just angry that he hadn’t paid a price himself. Anyway, I stood up and accused him flat out of murdering Tomas, and of handing me a death sentence too. As you can imagine, that was the last time we spoke.’
‘Good for you.’
Nico didn’t look so sure. He pulled a mournful face. ‘Maybe,’ he said. Then he added, by way of explanation: ‘He wasn’t just my weightlifting coach, you see. He was my father too.’
II
They took both Mercedes into Athens, Mikhail going in the first with Boris and Davit, leaving Edouard to drive Zaal. At least this way he could turn off his SatNav and just follow the car in front.It started to cloud over and then spit with rain as they reached the city centre, pedestrians wrapping their jackets tighter around themselves, walking closer to the buildings to take advantage of the awnings and avoid the splash of traffic.
‘Boris says you’ve got twin daughters,’ grunted Zaal.
‘And a son,’ said Edouard proudly.
‘How old are they?’ asked Zaal. ‘The
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Gaille.
Nico waved away her concern. ‘My own fault. I was a cheat. People keep telling me that I was just a child, too young to make such decisions for myself, that my…my coach must have bullied me into it. But I wasn’t that young. I knew full well it was cheating. Why else all those furtive trips to our training camps in East Germany? Why else all the sworn secrecy? I didn’t care a jot. In fact, I was more eager than anyone. I insisted on it. I thought I was destined, you see. Besides, I’m still alive, aren’t I?’ He spoke in short bursts, and out of one side of his mouth, leaving the other free for eating. He reached across the table with a crust of lavishly buttered bread, scooped up a scallop. ‘It’s my old team-mates I feel sorriest for. They all went long ago. Heart disease from those damned steroids. All but one, at least. He couldn’t bear the waiting any longer, so he used painkillersinstead. It can be a terrible thing, waiting.’ He smiled more brightly, crunched his way through a grilled sardine. ‘That’s one reason I do these conferences. They give me something to think about. Having a purpose, that’s the key. And it seems to work. My doctors keep assuring me I only have a few months left, but then they first told me that seven years ago. So what do they know?’ He laughed and waved a hand. ‘And once you accept the notion, once you get past the dread , it’s strangely liberating. No painkillers for me, that’s for sure. I plan to make the most of what I have left.’ He reached across the table for the stuffed crab. ‘Everyone keeps trying to put me on a regime . “You mustn’t smoke,” they tell me. “You mustn’t drink. You mustn’t eat so much.” “Why on earth not?” I ask. “I’m doomed anyway, aren’t I? Can’t I at least enjoy myself while I wait?”’ He laughed again, speared some octopus with his fork, chasing the oily coriander sauce around the dish until it glistened and dripped, then chewed hungrily upon it.
‘You take it very well,’ observed Knox. ‘If that had happened to me, I’d have wanted to kill my coach.’
‘Yes, well,’ shrugged Nico. ‘He didn’t know the damage steroids would do. No one did back then.’
‘You were only a child,’ said Gaille angrily. ‘He had a responsibility.’
‘It’s history now.’
‘How can you say that? Is he still alive, this coach of yours?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you still see him?’
He shook his head, from the look of him wishing he hadn’t raised the subject. ‘We had a falling out,’ he said. ‘When Tomas died. My friend Tomas. The one who took the painkillers. My coach…he gave one of the eulogies at his funeral. All those fine words. I don’t know, I didn’t believe them, I suppose; or perhaps I was just angry that he hadn’t paid a price himself. Anyway, I stood up and accused him flat out of murdering Tomas, and of handing me a death sentence too. As you can imagine, that was the last time we spoke.’
‘Good for you.’
Nico didn’t look so sure. He pulled a mournful face. ‘Maybe,’ he said. Then he added, by way of explanation: ‘He wasn’t just my weightlifting coach, you see. He was my father too.’
II
They took both Mercedes into Athens, Mikhail going in the first with Boris and Davit, leaving Edouard to drive Zaal. At least this way he could turn off his SatNav and just follow the car in front.It started to cloud over and then spit with rain as they reached the city centre, pedestrians wrapping their jackets tighter around themselves, walking closer to the buildings to take advantage of the awnings and avoid the splash of traffic.
‘Boris says you’ve got twin daughters,’ grunted Zaal.
‘And a son,’ said Edouard proudly.
‘How old are they?’ asked Zaal. ‘The
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