The Longing by Tamara Leigh Page A

between these walls. She swallowed and reached for the drink to aid the bread in its journey to her belly.
    “You have but to nod, Lady Susanna.”
    She cleared the lump in her throat. “Then I am to be a prisoner.”
    His brow lined. “Call it what you will, I will not have you further distracting the young men who are here to train, not gawk. However, do you find confinement too distasteful, you are welcome to leave.”
    Of course she would agree. Consoling herself that her stay in the tower room would not be long, for surely he would see to the matter of Judas’s inheritance quickly, she said, “I agree.”
    “I expected you would. Now eat.”
    She broke off a smaller piece of bread the easier to swallow it.
    “Next,” he said, “no one comes to this chamber without my permission, including Sir Elias.”
    Then the knight would also be allowed to remain at Wulfen? It was surely as he would wish to do since he could not return to Cheverel until Judas was lord.
    Her next bite of bread going down with little difficulty, she nodded, said, “Excepting Judas, of course,” and reached to the platter again.
    “ Not excepting Judas.”
    She was glad her mouth was not full, for she would have choked. She snatched her hand away from the platter. “I will not be allowed to see my nephew? Why?”
    “Not only do I believe it best to limit your influence upon the boy, but such is what is required of all who—”
    “ My influence?”
    “Aye. Your influence.”
    She sat forward, the sudden movement momentarily blurring her vision. “You make it sound a bad thing.”
    “It is, Susanna de Balliol.”
    “Explain yourself, Lord Wulfrith!”
    His mouth tightened. “I speak of the influence of a woman who uses her body to gain favors.”
    Her belly clenched and face and neck were swept with the numbing sensation of lost color. He knew the truth of her encounter with Sir Elias in the corridor, meaning the knight had revealed their bargain. In her defense? There seemed no other cause for him to do so. Still, it was nothing for which to be grateful.
    “All the more reason you cannot be allowed to move freely among our young men,” Everard Wulfrith said.
    As if she might attempt to seduce boys who did not yet practice the treachery of men but would soon enough learn it. Just as this man who as good as called her a Daughter of Eve—inherently sinful and inferior—had learned it.
    Control yourself, entreated the sound side of her that acknowledged how badly she needed his aid. After all, is there really much difference between a woman who freely consorts with a man not her husband and one who allows intimacies only for the sake of gain? Both unseemly. Both sins.
    “Eat,” Everard Wulfrith said—one too many times.
    She inhaled sharply, told herself to stop, but could not. “One might think you had never done something you should not with a woman you should not,” she snapped.
    This time it was his breath heard around the chamber.
    Foolish, Susanna! If you could hold your tongue with Alan de Balliol, surely you can hold it with Everard Wulfrith who, despite his condemnation of what he does not understand, has shown you more kindness these past two days than your own brother did these past eleven years.
    As she stared at the man who had not drawn any nearer since coming within, whose face had hardened and color had risen, she feared all was lost, that he would quit the chamber and put them out of Wulfen.
    She moistened her lips. “Forgive me. ’Tis just…” She shook her head. “You know not what you ask. Judas is like a son to me.”
    Though she thought some of his tension eased, she felt his struggle to remain within when he clearly wished to be without. “Regardless,” he finally said, “I do not ask it. I require it. However, if it comforts you, know that there would be few, if any, opportunities for Judas to come to you here. He will be far too occupied.”
    She blinked. “With what?”
    His gaze flicked to the