the problem?” Bradbury asked.
“I haven’t been paid. She owes three hundred bucks, and I can’t seem to squeeze it out of her.”
“What parts have you squeezed?”
“Ha-ha. She refuses to pay, Judge.”
“I need a closer look.”
Wally turned and motioned for Ms. Nuxhall to join them at the bench. She stood and wiggled herself from between the benches, then proceeded to the front. The lawyers went mute. The two bailiffs woke up. The other spectators gawked. The dress was even shorter when she walked, and she wore platform spiked heels that would make a hooker blush. David eased as far away as possible when she joined the boys at the bench.
Judge Bradbury pretended not to notice her. He was far too occupiedwith the contents of the court file. “Basic no-fault divorce, right, Mr. Figg?”
“That’s correct, Your Honor,” Wally replied properly.
“Is everything in order?”
“Yes, except for the small matter of my fee.”
“I just noticed that,” Bradbury said with a frown. “It looks as though there is a balance of $300, right?”
“That’s correct, Your Honor.”
Bradbury peered over his reading glasses and took in the chest first, then the eyes. “Are you prepared to take care of the fee, Ms. Nuxhall?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” she said in a squeaky voice. “But I’ll have to wait until next week. You see, I’m getting married this Saturday, and, well, I just can’t swing it right now.”
His eyes dancing from her chest to her face, His Honor said, “It’s my experience, Ms. Nuxhall, in divorce cases the fees are never paid after the fact. I expect my lawyers to be taken care of, to be paid, before I sign the final orders. What is the total fee, Mr. Figg?”
“Six hundred. She paid half up front.”
“Six hundred?” Bradbury said, feigning disbelief. “That’s a very reasonable fee, Ms. Nuxhall. Why haven’t you paid your lawyer?” Her eyes were suddenly wet.
The lawyers and spectators couldn’t hear the details, but they nonetheless kept their eyes on DeeAnna, especially her legs and shoes. David backed away even more, shocked at this shakedown in open court.
Bradbury moved in for the kill. He raised his voice slightly and said, “I’m not granting this divorce today, Ms. Nuxhall. You get your lawyer paid, then I’ll sign the papers. You understand this?”
Wiping her cheeks, she said, “Please.”
“I’m sorry, but I run a tight ship. I insist that all obligations be met—alimony, child support, legal fees. It’s just $300. Go borrow it from a friend.”
“I’ve tried, Your Honor, but—”
“Please. I hear this all the time. You’re excused.”
She turned around and walked away, His Honor leering at everystep. Wally watched too, shaking his head, marveling, as if ready to pounce. When the door closed, the courtroom breathed again. Judge Bradbury took a sip of water and said, “Anything else?”
“One more, Judge. Joannie Brenner. No-fault, complete property settlement, no children, and, most important, my fee has been paid in full.”
“Get her up here.”
“I ’m not sure I’m cut out for divorce law,” David admitted. They were back on the street, inching along in noon traffic, leaving the Daley Center behind.
“Great, you’ve been to court one time now, for less than an hour, and you’re already streamlining your practice,” Wally replied.
“Do most judges do what Bradbury just did?”
“What? You mean protect his lawyers? No, most judges have forgotten what it’s like to be in the trenches. As soon as they put on the black robe, they forget. Bradbury, he’s different. He remembers what a bunch of creeps we represent.”
“So what happens now? Will DeeAnna get her divorce?”
“She’ll stop by the office this afternoon with the money, and we’ll get the divorce on Friday. She gets married on Saturday, and in six months or so she’ll be back for another divorce.”
“I rest my case. I’m not cut out for divorce
“I haven’t been paid. She owes three hundred bucks, and I can’t seem to squeeze it out of her.”
“What parts have you squeezed?”
“Ha-ha. She refuses to pay, Judge.”
“I need a closer look.”
Wally turned and motioned for Ms. Nuxhall to join them at the bench. She stood and wiggled herself from between the benches, then proceeded to the front. The lawyers went mute. The two bailiffs woke up. The other spectators gawked. The dress was even shorter when she walked, and she wore platform spiked heels that would make a hooker blush. David eased as far away as possible when she joined the boys at the bench.
Judge Bradbury pretended not to notice her. He was far too occupiedwith the contents of the court file. “Basic no-fault divorce, right, Mr. Figg?”
“That’s correct, Your Honor,” Wally replied properly.
“Is everything in order?”
“Yes, except for the small matter of my fee.”
“I just noticed that,” Bradbury said with a frown. “It looks as though there is a balance of $300, right?”
“That’s correct, Your Honor.”
Bradbury peered over his reading glasses and took in the chest first, then the eyes. “Are you prepared to take care of the fee, Ms. Nuxhall?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” she said in a squeaky voice. “But I’ll have to wait until next week. You see, I’m getting married this Saturday, and, well, I just can’t swing it right now.”
His eyes dancing from her chest to her face, His Honor said, “It’s my experience, Ms. Nuxhall, in divorce cases the fees are never paid after the fact. I expect my lawyers to be taken care of, to be paid, before I sign the final orders. What is the total fee, Mr. Figg?”
“Six hundred. She paid half up front.”
“Six hundred?” Bradbury said, feigning disbelief. “That’s a very reasonable fee, Ms. Nuxhall. Why haven’t you paid your lawyer?” Her eyes were suddenly wet.
The lawyers and spectators couldn’t hear the details, but they nonetheless kept their eyes on DeeAnna, especially her legs and shoes. David backed away even more, shocked at this shakedown in open court.
Bradbury moved in for the kill. He raised his voice slightly and said, “I’m not granting this divorce today, Ms. Nuxhall. You get your lawyer paid, then I’ll sign the papers. You understand this?”
Wiping her cheeks, she said, “Please.”
“I’m sorry, but I run a tight ship. I insist that all obligations be met—alimony, child support, legal fees. It’s just $300. Go borrow it from a friend.”
“I’ve tried, Your Honor, but—”
“Please. I hear this all the time. You’re excused.”
She turned around and walked away, His Honor leering at everystep. Wally watched too, shaking his head, marveling, as if ready to pounce. When the door closed, the courtroom breathed again. Judge Bradbury took a sip of water and said, “Anything else?”
“One more, Judge. Joannie Brenner. No-fault, complete property settlement, no children, and, most important, my fee has been paid in full.”
“Get her up here.”
“I ’m not sure I’m cut out for divorce law,” David admitted. They were back on the street, inching along in noon traffic, leaving the Daley Center behind.
“Great, you’ve been to court one time now, for less than an hour, and you’re already streamlining your practice,” Wally replied.
“Do most judges do what Bradbury just did?”
“What? You mean protect his lawyers? No, most judges have forgotten what it’s like to be in the trenches. As soon as they put on the black robe, they forget. Bradbury, he’s different. He remembers what a bunch of creeps we represent.”
“So what happens now? Will DeeAnna get her divorce?”
“She’ll stop by the office this afternoon with the money, and we’ll get the divorce on Friday. She gets married on Saturday, and in six months or so she’ll be back for another divorce.”
“I rest my case. I’m not cut out for divorce
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