The Lie of You: I Will Have What Is Mine by Jane Lythell Page A

it?’
    ‘On my work table just now...’
    I immediately felt a bit defensive.
    ‘That’s strange. I didn’t put it there. I haven’t seen this in ages.’
    ‘Maybe Fran, then?’ he said.
    ‘Where would she have found it?’
    I was sure that I’d tucked all my photos of Eddie away in my bottom desk drawer. I remembered doing it just before Markus moved into the flat with me as I thought it was the tactful thing to do in the circumstances. Markus just shrugged and left Billy’s room. He didn’t seem to be irritated about it, just puzzled. It had made me feel uncomfortable and guilty as I hadn’t told him about Eddie’s arrival at the flat. It was possible he might have been annoyed about that late-night visit. I’m no good at keeping secrets and I don’t like to do it. Now this photo was a potent reminder of my not telling Markus and I’m sure my face had given me away.
    I covered Billy with a light blanket. Then I looked at the photo again; Eddie on a good day. I went into my study and opened the bottom desk drawer and there were all my photos of my life with Eddie, just as I’d thought. I added this photo to the pile. It was a shame because it had created a slightly jarring note to the end of what had been a loving evening together.

Heja
     
    JUNE
     
    This afternoon I had my meeting with her. She called me into her office and we sat at her meeting table. She is always very scrupulous to sit at this table. She would never conduct a meeting with her sitting behind her desk. She had a sleeveless red linen dress on. I noticed dark crescent-shaped marks of sweat on the dress under her arms.
    ‘It’s very hot, isn’t it?’ she said as I sat down. ‘I can’t open the window any further and anyway there’s no breeze today. Would you like a glass of water, Heja?’
    ‘Yes, please, if it is still water.’
    ‘Sure.’
    She walked over to her bookshelves and produced a large bottle of Evian and two ugly plastic tumblers, which she placed on the table in front of us. I waited while she poured me some water.
    ‘Thank you.’
    ‘So, the heritage series is going to keep us busy well into next year and I’m very keen to know which sites you’d particularly like to cover,’ she said.
    ‘Do you have any ideas?’ I asked her.
    I did not see why I should go through the motions of appearing excited about her project. Tim and Stephanie had already had their meetings with her and they were full of it. Tim had bagged Italy and Stephanie was going to do the sites in Greece.
    ‘I was hoping you might have a preference, Heja.’
    I shook my head.
    ‘Well, I guess you could do the Finnish sites. Would that appeal to you?’
    She moved a list in front of me.
    ‘There are seven sites and you probably know them all. We wouldn’t include the burial site or the landscape sites. We’d like to cover the other four.’
    I looked at the list – the Fortress of Suomenlinna, Old Rauma, the Petajavesi Old Church built of logs and the Verla Groundwood and Board Mill.
    ‘I visited them all as a schoolgirl. I did not find them very inspiring then. I do not think I could find anything interesting to say about them now.’
    ‘Oh, OK. I was just thinking that having the language you might get more out of any interviews...’
    ‘The curators of these sites will all speak excellent English.’
    ‘Of course, of course...’
    She twiddled the ring on her right finger. It is a thick gold Wright and Teague ring with words etched on its circumference. I have noticed that she always plays with that ring when she is thinking. She looks down at it and turns the ring so that one particular word is uppermost. She rarely looks at the rather modest wedding ring on her left hand. She pushed the list of all the sites in front of me.
    ‘You’re sure there’s nothing here you’d really like to do?’
    I scanned the list. There are many famous sites throughout Europe. I do not want to travel anywhere. When I reached the United Kingdom I saw