The Lady Astronomer by Katy O'Dowd Page A

driver remembered
that he had a young lady in his carriage.
    He stopped, climbed down from his seat, and
opened the door.
    “You will excuse me. The owl gave me a
fright. My tongue ran away with me.” He took his hat off and twisted its
rim in his hands. “Would my dear lady wife ever find out, I would receive
quite the telling off, I can assure you.”
    Lucretia bit her lip to hold back her laughter.
She could never tell this man that at home Freddie’s curses often turned the
air blue. “It is of no account,” she assured him.
    “Thank you. Well, we are nearly there
now, should you wish to attend to your, ahem, appearance any? I don’t mean to
talk out of turn, and of course you look very nice, but my dear lady wife does
often ask me to stop a little while away while she orders her coiffure. Or
whatever it is that you ladies like to do.”
    “You are most kind.” Lucretia kept
her giggles to herself until the driver had assumed his position and geed the
horses on. He was only being kind, but it was funny. Actually, it wasn’t that
funny at all, and she was now feeling exceptionally anxious. She smoothed down
her dress and resumed her study of the landscape. A large moat came into view,
and she knew that they had arrived.
    Stags and deer gazed contentedly, while a
clockwork crocodile swam a lazy circuit.
    A clockwork crocodile?
    Lucretia sat back against the cushioned seat.
This was going to be more interesting that she thought.
     
    *
     
    Two young ladies dressed as shepherdesses
in brightly coloured striped dresses passed as she alighted, lambs bleating in
their wake.
    Leibniz, not yet fully awake, looked at
Lucretia as if to say, “Did I just see that?”
    She stroked his head absentmindedly and
thanked the driver as he carried her bag to the front steps of the castle.
Orion waited for her there, and Lucretia stood back to look at the towering
edifice with its buttresses and gargoyles. Workmen swarmed here and there, tiny
in the heights of the crenulations as they repaired and built more on to the
already huge structure.
    Lucretia hefted Leibniz higher, and he
wrapped his arm around her neck and legs around her waist like a heavy toddler.
    “Time to see what is in store for us,
my friend,” she muttered. The heavy front door gave her pause; its giant
brass bands, screw heads, and knocker in the shape of a roaring lion were
astounding.
    She lifted the lion’s muzzle in her hand to
knock it back and it let out a roar. She jumped in fright, and Orion ruffled
his feathers, while Leibniz stuck his thumb into his mouth and whimpered.
    The huge door opened with a creak and
panting noise and a rather austere looking woman peered down her beaky nose.
    “You’ll be the new potato peeler then,”
she remarked haughtily, looking Lucretia up and down with a sniff. “I have
no idea why you are at the front entrance. Servant’s door is at the back of the
castle, you can’t miss it, looks like this door but is about half the size.
Good-day.” The woman made to close the door after her.
    “Wait!”
    “Yes?”
    “Potato peeler?”
    “Yes, is that not what I just said?”
    “Yes, but I…”
    “You what? Come now, you are wasting
my time and yours, and Housie the Keeper will not be impressed if you muck
about with her Schedule. Runs a tight ship. Now, along with you, you will be
issued with a uniform and shown your shared lodgings before you start. Also, be
made aware that only the pig pigs get the peelings. The last potato peeler made
the mistake of giving the steampig pigs peelings, and one got so puffed up that
he ran away. The king was most displeased.”
    “Mr. Trotters?”
    “How did you know his name? Have you
seen him?”
    “Yes, that is, yes and no, not
recently.”
    “Honestly, I have no time for idle
chatter like this. The royal door opener cannot stand and talk to every waif
and stray that fetches up on the castle steps, you know.”
    “Royal door opener?”
    “Look, young lady, my position is