vindicated, but didn’t. Although Jamie and I did not keep in touch, over the years, the news of his string of conquests filtered back to me. My ex-husband, the successful cardiologist, broke nearly as many hearts as he fixed.
Right after the divorce, I went out a few times, a series of one-night stands, fuck-and-run sort of dates, but they left me empty and disappointed and I eventually opted for the role of spinster, rebuffing the advances of even the most promising men. My coworkers at the elementary school all presume I’m a lesbian and I’ve said nothing to correct them.
Standing on the porch before my first crush, or the man my first crush had become, I couldn’t help but do a bit of quick arithmetic in my head—a little over three years. Yep, three years since I’d slept with anyone. I knew it was crazy to be attracted to Nicky Griswold, but there it was.
“Nicky.” I wanted to hug him, but resisted. I sat down on the steps and patted the spot next to me.
“Desert Rose,” he said as he folded his long body down next to me. “Want a smoke?” He pulled out a pack of Camels and I took one, although I hadn’t smoked in years. “How ’bout a drink?” He pulled a bottle of Wild Turkey from his jacket pocket and took a swallow.
“Gobble, gobble!” He offered me the bottle.
“I could sure use some of that.” I took the bottle and took a long sip, letting the bourbon warm me through and through. Manhattans were my drink of choice, but I was willing to forgo the vermouth and cherry.
“It’s good to see you, Nicky.” I meant what I said. After being with my mother for nearly a week, I was desperate for a friendly, familiar face. Someone other than Raven and Gabriel, who always ended their visits by asking what I’d done about finding a place for my mother. The fact was, I’d done nothing at all. I told them I was still assessing the situation, but they easily saw through to the truth: I was stalling and we all knew it. My mother’s pleading was getting to me.
“So, how are you?” I asked.
“I reckon I’m surviving. It’s sure good to see you, too.”
“What are you up to these days?” I thought of what I’d overheard at the general store—that he’d been picked up for questioning regarding the latest murder, but had a bar fight as an alibi.
“A little of this, little of that. I work part-time at Chuck’s as a mechanic, do some small engine repairs on the side. I mow a few lawns in the summer, plow in the winter. Whatever it takes to pay the bills. Got a place over near the Meadows—not much, just a trailer, but it’s mine and it’s home.” He gave a smile. “What about you?”
“Not much to tell. Still living in Seattle. Working as a school nurse.”
“Heard you got married.”
“Divorced about five years now.”
He nodded. “Kids?”
“No.” I looked away. “No kids.”
He was silent a minute, then nodded toward the house. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Not great.”
“I heard she was going to a home.”
“I don’t know yet. That’s where she probably belongs, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing. She’s really against it. It seems like her life is in my hands now and I have just a little over two weeks left to make the right decisions, then my leave is up at work and I’ve gotta go back to Seattle.”
“You’ll do right by her.”
We were quiet another minute, smoking our cigarettes, passing the bottle, and listening as the few leaves left rattled on the trees, speaking papery whispers.
“You hear about that girl they found in the woods?”
I took another deep sip from the bottle of Wild Turkey and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Of course. Pretty unsettling, I’d say. I guess it happened just on the other side of the hill, near where the old deer camp used to be.”
“Camp’s still there,” he said.
“No way.” The surprise in my voice seemed to please Nicky, who nodded and smiled. “I thought for sure it would
Right after the divorce, I went out a few times, a series of one-night stands, fuck-and-run sort of dates, but they left me empty and disappointed and I eventually opted for the role of spinster, rebuffing the advances of even the most promising men. My coworkers at the elementary school all presume I’m a lesbian and I’ve said nothing to correct them.
Standing on the porch before my first crush, or the man my first crush had become, I couldn’t help but do a bit of quick arithmetic in my head—a little over three years. Yep, three years since I’d slept with anyone. I knew it was crazy to be attracted to Nicky Griswold, but there it was.
“Nicky.” I wanted to hug him, but resisted. I sat down on the steps and patted the spot next to me.
“Desert Rose,” he said as he folded his long body down next to me. “Want a smoke?” He pulled out a pack of Camels and I took one, although I hadn’t smoked in years. “How ’bout a drink?” He pulled a bottle of Wild Turkey from his jacket pocket and took a swallow.
“Gobble, gobble!” He offered me the bottle.
“I could sure use some of that.” I took the bottle and took a long sip, letting the bourbon warm me through and through. Manhattans were my drink of choice, but I was willing to forgo the vermouth and cherry.
“It’s good to see you, Nicky.” I meant what I said. After being with my mother for nearly a week, I was desperate for a friendly, familiar face. Someone other than Raven and Gabriel, who always ended their visits by asking what I’d done about finding a place for my mother. The fact was, I’d done nothing at all. I told them I was still assessing the situation, but they easily saw through to the truth: I was stalling and we all knew it. My mother’s pleading was getting to me.
“So, how are you?” I asked.
“I reckon I’m surviving. It’s sure good to see you, too.”
“What are you up to these days?” I thought of what I’d overheard at the general store—that he’d been picked up for questioning regarding the latest murder, but had a bar fight as an alibi.
“A little of this, little of that. I work part-time at Chuck’s as a mechanic, do some small engine repairs on the side. I mow a few lawns in the summer, plow in the winter. Whatever it takes to pay the bills. Got a place over near the Meadows—not much, just a trailer, but it’s mine and it’s home.” He gave a smile. “What about you?”
“Not much to tell. Still living in Seattle. Working as a school nurse.”
“Heard you got married.”
“Divorced about five years now.”
He nodded. “Kids?”
“No.” I looked away. “No kids.”
He was silent a minute, then nodded toward the house. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Not great.”
“I heard she was going to a home.”
“I don’t know yet. That’s where she probably belongs, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing. She’s really against it. It seems like her life is in my hands now and I have just a little over two weeks left to make the right decisions, then my leave is up at work and I’ve gotta go back to Seattle.”
“You’ll do right by her.”
We were quiet another minute, smoking our cigarettes, passing the bottle, and listening as the few leaves left rattled on the trees, speaking papery whispers.
“You hear about that girl they found in the woods?”
I took another deep sip from the bottle of Wild Turkey and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Of course. Pretty unsettling, I’d say. I guess it happened just on the other side of the hill, near where the old deer camp used to be.”
“Camp’s still there,” he said.
“No way.” The surprise in my voice seemed to please Nicky, who nodded and smiled. “I thought for sure it would
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