molding. She placed the lock where she thought it should go, and with her other hand tried to place the little eye. The two halves of the lock didnât match up. At least not perfectly.
Nina stared at the door in frustration. The problem seemed to be that the molding stuck out from the door. She placed the main part of the lock against the door this time and the eye against the molding. Still no good. She would have to damage the molding.
Too bad sheâd never taken any shop classes. The use of tools wasnât her strong point.
She trotted downstairs to the kitchen and dug in the kitchen drawer for something useful. Then her gaze settled on a knife. It was a very sharp, serrated knife with a short blade, no more than three inches long. She stuck this carefully in her back pocket and ran back upstairs.
She went at the molding, using the serrated knife to chopand gouge out a section long enough for the eye and deep enough to lie flush with the door. It took nearly twenty minutes before she had the lock in place, screwed down with its brass screws.
She closed the door and tried the lock several times. It stuck a little, but with some effort she could slide the bolt into the eye and make it work.
It wouldnât stop someone determined to get in. But it would slow someone down and force them to make noise. She nodded in grim satisfaction. He wouldnât want to make noise, not here in her house.
Nina scooped up the splinters and sawdust sheâd generated and dropped them in the trash. Then she picked up the knife, intending to take it downstairs.
But with the black plastic handle in her palm, she hesitated. With unwilling eyes she stared down at its wicked blade. Would she ever use it? Would she ever really use it?
Would she have used it before, years ago, if sheâd thought of it then?
Probably not. She wasnât that kind of person.
She sat down on the edge of her bed, still holding the knife. She pulled open her nightstand drawer and took out the picture of herself back then. A part of her mind told her that she wasnât acting rationally, that this was all unnecessary. No one would bestupid enough to try to . . . to reach her here, in her own house, with her father asleep just down the hall.
Nina laughed, a short, bitter sound as she looked at the picture of a more innocent, unafraid girl. It wasnât about being rational anymore. Reason had been lost forever, after that first time. âYou were so dumb, you didnât even know what was going on,â she told the photograph.
The first time had been so innocent. Just a request to sit on her uncleâs lap in the family room of his house. And then, just innocent questions. Did she like Uncle Mark? Of course, sheâd replied. Did she like him a lot? Sure, she liked him. That was good, because her uncle really liked her, too.
He thought she was a very pretty young lady. Someday the boys would go crazy for her, someday they would be all over her. No, not likely, sheâd answered. Why not? Sheâd shrugged.
Claire was prettier, Nina had told him.
Yes, heâd said, but Claire wasnât as nice as Nina. Nina was nice, wasnât she? She wanted to be nice to people who cared about her and thought she was pretty. Didnât she?
Thatâs good, heâd said. Give your uncle a little kiss. You can do better than that. Give your uncle a real kiss. Like this. Did she like that? Did she?
Nina realized her hands were shaking. She had dropped the knife on the floor.
Yes, she had answered, tucking down her chin and feeling almost sick.
Did she like that?
Yes. Sheâd said yes. And from that moment of weakness all else had followed. That yes had made it her fault as much as his, her sin. Thatâs what he had said, all those many evenings when heâd sat across the family room, ignoring his wife who ignored him in return, and focused his blazing, relentless eyes on her. All those nights . . . All those nights
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