sleeping for ninety per cent of the day living.’
‘So this is it?’ Ali’s voice was soft and gentle. She knew the answer already.
‘She won’t be coming home,’ he said. ‘Every time the phone rings I expect bad news.’
‘And what about you? How are you coping?’
‘I’m not sure, to be honest. I’m just doing what I have to for the girls’ sake but I do feel guilty.’
‘Guilty? What about?’
‘About everything,’ he admitted. ‘I feel I should be doing more of something but I don’t know what. I feel I should be doing more with the girls, or spending more time at the hospital or comforting Helen, but I’m notsure that any of that would make a difference. We’re all just biding our time, Julieanne, Helen and me.’
‘Do you want to hand over your hours at the clinic? I’m sure Mum would come back to work early. She’s due back next week anyway.’
Quinn shook his head. ‘That’s not the problem. She’s already offered to come back early but with the girls at school and Julieanne sleeping most of the day I don’t actually know what I’d do with myself. It’s not that I’m short of time, it’s just that I’m not used to having to work to other people’s schedules. At the moment I have to factor in so many other people’s needs and it’s becoming quite a juggling act. One I don’t feel I’m getting right, and that’s why I’m feeling guilty. I feel like I’m letting people down.’
Ali reached across the table and squeezed his hand, knowing once again just when he needed to feel that connection to her. ‘I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You have to prioritise and, right now, work is something that can come way down your list. You don’t have to try to do it all.’
He smiled. ‘I know, but I like having something in my day that I feel I’m doing well. I know what I’m doing when I’m at work. I spend so much of the day feeling out of my depth that it feels good to come to work, it gives me a sense of achievement.’
‘But you need to give yourself some time too. You’ll get sick if you overload yourself and being sick is the last thing you can afford right now. I suppose you’re going straight to the hospital from here tonight?’
Quinn nodded. ‘I’m going to collect the girls fromschool and take them down to town. I don’t know what else to do. I’d love to have some time to myself, well, not myself exactly. In all honesty I’d love to just be able to go home with you, but I just don’t see how that’s going to be possible.’
His body was aching for more of Ali but for now he would have to console himself with mental images. The contrast of her red lace underwear, bright against the milk-chocolate colouring of her skin, was still vivid in his mind’s eye. The tension in her thighs as she’d wrapped her legs around him, the curve of her bottom under his hand and the sweet taste of her under his tongue, the length of her neck as she’d arched her back when she’d orgasmed and the touch of her hand were all indelibly printed on his brain, but there was no time for indulging in pleasures of the flesh. Not at the moment.
‘That’s not what I was hinting at. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it…’ she grinned ‘…but I understand. I don’t expect you to have to find time for me too. I can wait.’
They both knew it wouldn’t be long before there would be one less person needing Quinn’s time, but what he didn’t realise was just how much would change and not all of it would be what he expected.
The first surprise, while unexpected, was at least a pleasant one. It was Saturday afternoon and Quinn was leaving the hospital with the twins when his phone rang. The number displayed was one he didn’t recognise and even though he’d left Julieanne’s bedside less than ten minutes before, his first reaction was still oneof trepidation. The lack of sleep combined with the unrelenting stress had him constantly on edge.
Rebecca, one of the
‘So this is it?’ Ali’s voice was soft and gentle. She knew the answer already.
‘She won’t be coming home,’ he said. ‘Every time the phone rings I expect bad news.’
‘And what about you? How are you coping?’
‘I’m not sure, to be honest. I’m just doing what I have to for the girls’ sake but I do feel guilty.’
‘Guilty? What about?’
‘About everything,’ he admitted. ‘I feel I should be doing more of something but I don’t know what. I feel I should be doing more with the girls, or spending more time at the hospital or comforting Helen, but I’m notsure that any of that would make a difference. We’re all just biding our time, Julieanne, Helen and me.’
‘Do you want to hand over your hours at the clinic? I’m sure Mum would come back to work early. She’s due back next week anyway.’
Quinn shook his head. ‘That’s not the problem. She’s already offered to come back early but with the girls at school and Julieanne sleeping most of the day I don’t actually know what I’d do with myself. It’s not that I’m short of time, it’s just that I’m not used to having to work to other people’s schedules. At the moment I have to factor in so many other people’s needs and it’s becoming quite a juggling act. One I don’t feel I’m getting right, and that’s why I’m feeling guilty. I feel like I’m letting people down.’
Ali reached across the table and squeezed his hand, knowing once again just when he needed to feel that connection to her. ‘I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You have to prioritise and, right now, work is something that can come way down your list. You don’t have to try to do it all.’
He smiled. ‘I know, but I like having something in my day that I feel I’m doing well. I know what I’m doing when I’m at work. I spend so much of the day feeling out of my depth that it feels good to come to work, it gives me a sense of achievement.’
‘But you need to give yourself some time too. You’ll get sick if you overload yourself and being sick is the last thing you can afford right now. I suppose you’re going straight to the hospital from here tonight?’
Quinn nodded. ‘I’m going to collect the girls fromschool and take them down to town. I don’t know what else to do. I’d love to have some time to myself, well, not myself exactly. In all honesty I’d love to just be able to go home with you, but I just don’t see how that’s going to be possible.’
His body was aching for more of Ali but for now he would have to console himself with mental images. The contrast of her red lace underwear, bright against the milk-chocolate colouring of her skin, was still vivid in his mind’s eye. The tension in her thighs as she’d wrapped her legs around him, the curve of her bottom under his hand and the sweet taste of her under his tongue, the length of her neck as she’d arched her back when she’d orgasmed and the touch of her hand were all indelibly printed on his brain, but there was no time for indulging in pleasures of the flesh. Not at the moment.
‘That’s not what I was hinting at. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it…’ she grinned ‘…but I understand. I don’t expect you to have to find time for me too. I can wait.’
They both knew it wouldn’t be long before there would be one less person needing Quinn’s time, but what he didn’t realise was just how much would change and not all of it would be what he expected.
The first surprise, while unexpected, was at least a pleasant one. It was Saturday afternoon and Quinn was leaving the hospital with the twins when his phone rang. The number displayed was one he didn’t recognise and even though he’d left Julieanne’s bedside less than ten minutes before, his first reaction was still oneof trepidation. The lack of sleep combined with the unrelenting stress had him constantly on edge.
Rebecca, one of the
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