to.
‘I’m very glad to hear it,’ repeated Leadbitter.
‘Oh yes, and they might have been rather chilly with me, or at any rate distant and uninterested, because I hadn’t wanted to see them because - well, you know why. They must have thought me unfeeling and even rude, but somehow I couldn’t. I see now it was wrong to have wrapped myself in my grief - selfish really. What would happen to the world if everyone who had - well, lost someone who was dear to them - shut themselves up and moped? Life would come to a standstill. I’m sure that you, for instance, would put a good face on it, however much you suffered,’
For a second Leadbitter tried to think of someone whose loss might make him suffer, and he nearly laughed. A lost customer, yes, a lost customer did upset him, but only for a time.
‘I expect it’s just a question of getting used to it, my lady,’ he said.
Lady Franklin gave him a sly smile.
‘That’s your panacea, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘But you know, I think you’re wrong. I was getting used to it; that was the trouble: I was getting used to my - well, my unhappiness, let’s call it. I was getting used to it and I didn’t really want it to end! In a way, I’m sure you can understand? - it was a sort of protection to me. It seemed to answer every question, in the negative, and I’m lazy, I hate answering questions! At least I did then. And it was an excuse for everything, for everything I didn’t want to do, and there was nothing that I wanted to do ! It was a sort of labyrinth,’ she said, frowning, ‘a labyrinth without a clue, and as you were saying, I got used to it. But you showed me the way out,’ she added, brightening, ‘and I can never tell you how grateful I am,’
‘That’s all right, my lady,’ Leadbitter said.
‘Yes, but it isn’t. I wish there was something I could do for you,’
‘You’ve done a great deal for me,’ said Leadbitter. ‘I shouldn’t be sitting where I am, sitting pretty, to coin a phrase, if it wasn’t for you. I shouldn’t be’ - he was going to say ‘owning my own car’ but stopped and substituted ‘my own master’ - ‘if it wasn’t for you. And I shouldn’t be driving you, either,’
‘I gave you money,’ Lady Franklin said, ‘that’s easy. But you gave me happiness, which isn’t easy. How can you compare the two?’
‘You saved me from unhappiness,’ said Leadbitter. ‘Isn’t that the same?’
‘Well, perhaps it is. I shall try to think it is. You know, I’ve missed you very much these last few weeks,’
‘Missed me, my lady?’ Leadbitter said.
‘You sound so surprised,’ said Lady Franklin. ‘But don’t heaps of people miss you? Your wife, for instance, and Don and Pat and Susie? I’m sure they miss you all the time. And now, please tell me about them. Tell me everything -I can’t wait to hear. Just one more Canterbury tale. I’m dying of news-starvation,’
Leadbitter’s gun-metal eyes narrowed. He tried to jerk his mind back from other things that were nearer and more real, to the contemplation of his fictitious family. Not a word would come. Hoping for inspiration he glanced at Lady Franklin.
‘Well my wife -‘ he began uncertainly.
‘Yes, Frances,’ Lady Franklin prompted him.
‘Well, Frances -‘ he looked at Lady Franklin again, almost bewildered, and waited for the electric spark to leap between them.
‘Yes, Frances,’ Lady Franklin repeated, amused and half impatient. ‘I see I shall have to jog your memory! But,’ she added, suddenly contrite, ‘it’s so long ago! No wonder you’ve forgotten. All my fault! Lunches, cocktail parties, dinners, it didn’t seem worth while - worth your while, I mean - to drag you out for them, when you might have been doing much more interesting things, more profitable too, I’m sure!’ She gave Leadbitter’s stern profile an appealing look. ‘And how could we have talked? It would have been so disjointed - you couldn’t have got going!
‘I’m very glad to hear it,’ repeated Leadbitter.
‘Oh yes, and they might have been rather chilly with me, or at any rate distant and uninterested, because I hadn’t wanted to see them because - well, you know why. They must have thought me unfeeling and even rude, but somehow I couldn’t. I see now it was wrong to have wrapped myself in my grief - selfish really. What would happen to the world if everyone who had - well, lost someone who was dear to them - shut themselves up and moped? Life would come to a standstill. I’m sure that you, for instance, would put a good face on it, however much you suffered,’
For a second Leadbitter tried to think of someone whose loss might make him suffer, and he nearly laughed. A lost customer, yes, a lost customer did upset him, but only for a time.
‘I expect it’s just a question of getting used to it, my lady,’ he said.
Lady Franklin gave him a sly smile.
‘That’s your panacea, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘But you know, I think you’re wrong. I was getting used to it; that was the trouble: I was getting used to my - well, my unhappiness, let’s call it. I was getting used to it and I didn’t really want it to end! In a way, I’m sure you can understand? - it was a sort of protection to me. It seemed to answer every question, in the negative, and I’m lazy, I hate answering questions! At least I did then. And it was an excuse for everything, for everything I didn’t want to do, and there was nothing that I wanted to do ! It was a sort of labyrinth,’ she said, frowning, ‘a labyrinth without a clue, and as you were saying, I got used to it. But you showed me the way out,’ she added, brightening, ‘and I can never tell you how grateful I am,’
‘That’s all right, my lady,’ Leadbitter said.
‘Yes, but it isn’t. I wish there was something I could do for you,’
‘You’ve done a great deal for me,’ said Leadbitter. ‘I shouldn’t be sitting where I am, sitting pretty, to coin a phrase, if it wasn’t for you. I shouldn’t be’ - he was going to say ‘owning my own car’ but stopped and substituted ‘my own master’ - ‘if it wasn’t for you. And I shouldn’t be driving you, either,’
‘I gave you money,’ Lady Franklin said, ‘that’s easy. But you gave me happiness, which isn’t easy. How can you compare the two?’
‘You saved me from unhappiness,’ said Leadbitter. ‘Isn’t that the same?’
‘Well, perhaps it is. I shall try to think it is. You know, I’ve missed you very much these last few weeks,’
‘Missed me, my lady?’ Leadbitter said.
‘You sound so surprised,’ said Lady Franklin. ‘But don’t heaps of people miss you? Your wife, for instance, and Don and Pat and Susie? I’m sure they miss you all the time. And now, please tell me about them. Tell me everything -I can’t wait to hear. Just one more Canterbury tale. I’m dying of news-starvation,’
Leadbitter’s gun-metal eyes narrowed. He tried to jerk his mind back from other things that were nearer and more real, to the contemplation of his fictitious family. Not a word would come. Hoping for inspiration he glanced at Lady Franklin.
‘Well my wife -‘ he began uncertainly.
‘Yes, Frances,’ Lady Franklin prompted him.
‘Well, Frances -‘ he looked at Lady Franklin again, almost bewildered, and waited for the electric spark to leap between them.
‘Yes, Frances,’ Lady Franklin repeated, amused and half impatient. ‘I see I shall have to jog your memory! But,’ she added, suddenly contrite, ‘it’s so long ago! No wonder you’ve forgotten. All my fault! Lunches, cocktail parties, dinners, it didn’t seem worth while - worth your while, I mean - to drag you out for them, when you might have been doing much more interesting things, more profitable too, I’m sure!’ She gave Leadbitter’s stern profile an appealing look. ‘And how could we have talked? It would have been so disjointed - you couldn’t have got going!
Similar Books
