The Hipster Who Leapt Through Time (The Hipster Trilogy Book 2) by Luke Kondor Page B

smiling as wide as he could.
    “Good morning,” he said. “I wonder if you could help a fellow humanoid out?”
    “What the fuck, man?” The human quickly put out his smoking equipment and rearranged himself. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes. The creature was a foul-looking thing with a few hairs on the top of his lip. Eyes hazy and unfocused. Hair unbrushed. A huge coat and garish golden chains dangling from his neck. JoEl waited, still smiling, until the youth had hidden his drugs and put his still-smoking drug-stick out. “What the fuck do you want, geez? You can’t be popping out of nowhere like that, you creepy shit.”
    “What language you speak? Incredible,” JoEl said, beaming with curiosity.
    “What are you talking about, bruv? You better step on otherwise I’m about to batter you. Ya get me?”  
    As the youth spoke his head bounced left to right and back again. It danced on the flimsy neck and weak backbone.
    “I’m sorry to have offended you, human, but I need your help. I need your car.”
    This appeared to upset the youth even more as he reached over and flicked a switch on the dashboard, cutting the music off. He threw his door open and climbed out of the car. He turned out to be a tall, ratty-moustachioed individual. Lanky, indeed. He towered over JoEl.
    “I didn’t mean to offend you,” JoEl tried to say but the youth threw his closed fist at him. It connected with JoEl’s chin and nudged his face an inch or two to the side. He almost hit JoEl’s red lenses.
    “I’m sorry that you can’t help me,” JoEl said, as the youth swung his fist again.  
    This time, it didn’t connect with JoEl’s face. He caught the fist in his gloved hand.  
    “What the fuck?” the youth said before JoEl squeezed down. The fist loosened, but JoEl squeezed further. Flesh in a vice. It tightened. The youth screamed as the bones broke and the skin split along the sides. A tooth of bone poked through and the youth howled.  
    JoEl released the hand and the teenager fell backwards onto the floor and writhed around in agony.
    “Apologies, young man,” JoEl said. “I didn’t want to have any more collateral than there already was.”
    “You dick, you dick, you dick.” The youth rolled around and wept. He was in shock.  
    “No matter.” JoEl knelt by the human and shook his head. “I will help you. I will make you whole again.”
    As he reached for the damaged hand the youth recoiled.  
    “Relax,” he said. “I’ll make it better.”
    Reluctant to upset the alien further, the man held it out and looked away. JoEl inspected it. The fingers were pointing the wrong way. Blood was dripping down onto the floor. This was no good. This was no good at all.  
    “Dear oh dear,” JoEl said as he bit down on the tip of his glove and pulled it away from his hand.  
    He waved his free hand over the youth’s broken one. The air above the hand warbled as the chemical reaction started. Within a few seconds, the skin healed over. The youth looked on slack-jawed as the skin sewed itself shut. He even giggled with joy at the sight of it, but then he stopped. The healing was going too far. The skin continued to sew itself together and the bones inside were still splintered. The fingers began to merge together into a mangled mess. He screamed as it all melted together into a mix of thumb and what looked like a wing. The youth’s eyes dropped shut and his head fell to the floor. He’d fainted.  
    “Marvellous,” JoEl said. “All better, and just in time for your sleep.” He tapped the youth on the head. “And as I’ve done you a favour, I think it fair you do one for me.” He got up and walked to the car. He climbed inside and turned the engine on with the keys still in the ignition. He tapped the dashboard and with a click the bouncing tribal rhythms returned. “Marvellous,” JoEl said again as he reversed the car out of the carpark, leaving the sleeping youth with his newly healed appendage. “Just