she assured herself, eyeing the bottle of wine.
“What the hell,” she told Duff, who had jumped lightly on the edge of the tub to watch. She poured herself a glass. “How much damage can just a bit do?”
Apparently quite a bit on an empty stomach, in a lightweight woman who never drank. Within fifteen minutes of finishing her glass, Trisha had the giggles.
“Duff, sweetie...” Trisha squinted at the cat to make sure. “You’ve got four eyes.” Laughing, she gestured with her glass. “Pour me another, honey, will you? But make it a small one ‘cuz I’m driving.” She laughed uproariously at her own joke. “Oh, dear, this stuff seems to have gone straight to my head.”
Duff sat on his haunches and studied her seriously.
“Don’t bother getting up, Duffy, I’ll get it.” Still giggling, Trisha leaned forward and poured herself another glass, dribbling a good portion of it on the floor. “Darn.” Frowning, she leaned over the tub to inspect her spill and, in the process, swished half of her chilled glass of wine on her bare breasts.
Sucking in air through her teeth, she looked at Duff. “That,” she said slowly, trying to breathe, “was not a good relaxation method.”
The second glass went down much faster than the first, but gave her the hiccups, which annoyed her. “This drinking thing is definitely not all it’s”— hiccup —”cracked up to be.” Hiccup. Hiccup .
Suddenly the smell of the bath oil made her feel a little sick. To top it all off, she’d forgotten to turn her heat on and her arms were covered with gooseflesh. “Duff, I’m thinking”— hiccup —”that this basket thing wasn’t such a great idea.”
Her stomach grumbled loudly. Duff straightened, alarmed, peering into the tub at her belly.
“Food,” she decided. “I need”— hiccup —”dammit, that hurt. I ... definitely need food.” With the room spinning wildly, Trisha rose from the tub, sloshing water over the side. “Oooh, it’s cold,” she said, then sat back down with a splash. “ No way am I getting out of here.”
“Mew.”
“Okay, okay ... but first, just one more little itty-bitty glass of wine,” she told the cat, who was studying her thoughtfully, as if she’d come from another planet. Chuckling at herself, she reached for the bottle ... and knocked it into the tub with a splash.
“Oh, my,” she squealed, leaping up. “A wine bath for a wino!” She grabbed the now-empty bottle, set it on the floor. Reluctantly, she pulled the plug and stood there watching in fascination as the bubbles swirled down the drain.
Then her world started spinning. “Whew!” she said, teetering wildly, befuddled. “I’m dizzy!”
“Mew.”
Bed, she decided hazily. Forget the food, she needed her bed, and she knew she had to get there fast.
But suddenly she had four feet and no eyes. Well, hell, she thought. Nothing seemed to be working properly, including her legs. With the slow, calculated precision only a very drunk person can obtain, she stepped over the tub, carefully avoiding the flickering candles.
“No need to set the spacey scientist’s house on fire,” she told Duff, slurring her words slightly. “That might just be the icing on the cake, you know?” Carefully, she blew out each of the candles. “I still can’t believe he got dumped”— hiccup —” twice . Those women must have been crazy.”
She and Duff stared into the dying candles. Trisha’s thoughts turned muddled. “ I wouldn’t have left him at the altar.”
Duff backed away from her, curling his tail close to his body, giving her a hard, unsympathetic look.
“Smart cat, keeping your paws safe,” she muttered, holding her hands way out in front of her as if to compensate for the fact that her world seemed to be revolving too quickly. “In my condition, I’m liable to trip over my own two feet.”
Then she did exactly that.
From her sprawled, graceless position on the floor, she lifted up on her elbows and
“What the hell,” she told Duff, who had jumped lightly on the edge of the tub to watch. She poured herself a glass. “How much damage can just a bit do?”
Apparently quite a bit on an empty stomach, in a lightweight woman who never drank. Within fifteen minutes of finishing her glass, Trisha had the giggles.
“Duff, sweetie...” Trisha squinted at the cat to make sure. “You’ve got four eyes.” Laughing, she gestured with her glass. “Pour me another, honey, will you? But make it a small one ‘cuz I’m driving.” She laughed uproariously at her own joke. “Oh, dear, this stuff seems to have gone straight to my head.”
Duff sat on his haunches and studied her seriously.
“Don’t bother getting up, Duffy, I’ll get it.” Still giggling, Trisha leaned forward and poured herself another glass, dribbling a good portion of it on the floor. “Darn.” Frowning, she leaned over the tub to inspect her spill and, in the process, swished half of her chilled glass of wine on her bare breasts.
Sucking in air through her teeth, she looked at Duff. “That,” she said slowly, trying to breathe, “was not a good relaxation method.”
The second glass went down much faster than the first, but gave her the hiccups, which annoyed her. “This drinking thing is definitely not all it’s”— hiccup —”cracked up to be.” Hiccup. Hiccup .
Suddenly the smell of the bath oil made her feel a little sick. To top it all off, she’d forgotten to turn her heat on and her arms were covered with gooseflesh. “Duff, I’m thinking”— hiccup —”that this basket thing wasn’t such a great idea.”
Her stomach grumbled loudly. Duff straightened, alarmed, peering into the tub at her belly.
“Food,” she decided. “I need”— hiccup —”dammit, that hurt. I ... definitely need food.” With the room spinning wildly, Trisha rose from the tub, sloshing water over the side. “Oooh, it’s cold,” she said, then sat back down with a splash. “ No way am I getting out of here.”
“Mew.”
“Okay, okay ... but first, just one more little itty-bitty glass of wine,” she told the cat, who was studying her thoughtfully, as if she’d come from another planet. Chuckling at herself, she reached for the bottle ... and knocked it into the tub with a splash.
“Oh, my,” she squealed, leaping up. “A wine bath for a wino!” She grabbed the now-empty bottle, set it on the floor. Reluctantly, she pulled the plug and stood there watching in fascination as the bubbles swirled down the drain.
Then her world started spinning. “Whew!” she said, teetering wildly, befuddled. “I’m dizzy!”
“Mew.”
Bed, she decided hazily. Forget the food, she needed her bed, and she knew she had to get there fast.
But suddenly she had four feet and no eyes. Well, hell, she thought. Nothing seemed to be working properly, including her legs. With the slow, calculated precision only a very drunk person can obtain, she stepped over the tub, carefully avoiding the flickering candles.
“No need to set the spacey scientist’s house on fire,” she told Duff, slurring her words slightly. “That might just be the icing on the cake, you know?” Carefully, she blew out each of the candles. “I still can’t believe he got dumped”— hiccup —” twice . Those women must have been crazy.”
She and Duff stared into the dying candles. Trisha’s thoughts turned muddled. “ I wouldn’t have left him at the altar.”
Duff backed away from her, curling his tail close to his body, giving her a hard, unsympathetic look.
“Smart cat, keeping your paws safe,” she muttered, holding her hands way out in front of her as if to compensate for the fact that her world seemed to be revolving too quickly. “In my condition, I’m liable to trip over my own two feet.”
Then she did exactly that.
From her sprawled, graceless position on the floor, she lifted up on her elbows and
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