desired or practical one. If she gets a semen allergy, it’s to a protein in semen that all men have. Also, once she develops a semen allergy, it’s not just to semen in her vagina. The burning and itching can occur any place where semen touches her skin, including in her mouth or up her bum. As is the case with food allergies, a semen allergy might go away as fast as it arrived.
Why Semen Gets Clumpy in the Shower or Bath
You may have noticed that semen gets clumpy, stringy and sticky when it’s in water—like when a guy masturbates in the bath and the semen gets all clumpy and sticks to his skin and body hair, or when he masturbates in the shower and the semen sticks to the floor or any hair that’s collected on the drain cover.
When semen first comes out of the penis, it’s hydrophobic which means it hates water. Even though it’s a liquid, when fresh semen makes contact with water, it will form clumps, like the bubbles in Lava lamps, but nowhere near as cool. These clumps are semen’s way of protecting as much of itself as possible from water. You can see this if a guy will ejaculate into a glass of water. His friends will be amazed.
These sticky semen clumps will stick to your skin or shower floor or the hair in the shower drain. This is why if a man has roommates and shares a shower, it’s only right for him to clean up the shower drain after he’s masturbated and his clumpy semen collects there.
Semen will only clump up if it makes contact with water as a guy is ejaculating. Otherwise, semen will actually liquefy or get watery all on its own in ten to fifteen minutes. Women know this because it starts dripping out of their vaginas after intercourse.
Spying on Sperm
It can be very cool to look at your own or your partner’s semen under a microscope. What you thought was just a gob of sticky goo is actually a metropolis of biological activity. It’s like looking down at New York City during rush hour, only with sperm instead of Taxi cabs. Here’s how you do it:
Materials: You’ll need access to a microscope that has 100x and 400x magnifications, a microscope slide and coverslips, and a human male with a hard-on. Make sure the microscope has a good light and that you can focus on the edge of a coverslip that’s on a glass slide.
Producing the Sample: This is the funnest part! If you don’t know how to produce semen in the bottom of a glass, there are plenty of chapters in this book that can help. If you need lube, only use saliva. Most commercial lubricants do evil things to sperm.
Timing: You’ll want to have the semen under the microscope within 60 to 90 minutes after it is produced.
The Container: As you might recall from the start of this chapter, semen doesn’t squirt out pre-mixed. So you’ll need to collect the entire ejaculation in the same container. If you don’t, you might not be collecting the squirts that have sperm. Be sure to use a container large enough to fit the head of the penis into while it splooges. Do not collect the specimen in a condom unless it’s a condom made from polyurethane and has no lube inside. The materials in most condoms are not sperm friendly.
The Semen: While it tends to come out thick, your semen will liquefy within 15 to 20 minutes—so much that it will become almost as thin as water. After it has liquefied, give it a close look with your naked eyes. According to our sperm consultant: “If it is clear (transparent), the sperm count is probably low. If it is cloudy but you can see through it (translucent), it is a medium sperm count. If it is creamy white or yellowish and you cannot see through it, it is probably a fairly high sperm count. This is not a measure of fertility, just something interesting. Besides, it only takes one sperm for paternity, and the number of sperm depends on many things, including how often you ejaculate, if you’ve been in hot tubs or hot baths, what medications you are taking, etc.”
The Temperature: Keep your specimen
Why Semen Gets Clumpy in the Shower or Bath
You may have noticed that semen gets clumpy, stringy and sticky when it’s in water—like when a guy masturbates in the bath and the semen gets all clumpy and sticks to his skin and body hair, or when he masturbates in the shower and the semen sticks to the floor or any hair that’s collected on the drain cover.
When semen first comes out of the penis, it’s hydrophobic which means it hates water. Even though it’s a liquid, when fresh semen makes contact with water, it will form clumps, like the bubbles in Lava lamps, but nowhere near as cool. These clumps are semen’s way of protecting as much of itself as possible from water. You can see this if a guy will ejaculate into a glass of water. His friends will be amazed.
These sticky semen clumps will stick to your skin or shower floor or the hair in the shower drain. This is why if a man has roommates and shares a shower, it’s only right for him to clean up the shower drain after he’s masturbated and his clumpy semen collects there.
Semen will only clump up if it makes contact with water as a guy is ejaculating. Otherwise, semen will actually liquefy or get watery all on its own in ten to fifteen minutes. Women know this because it starts dripping out of their vaginas after intercourse.
Spying on Sperm
It can be very cool to look at your own or your partner’s semen under a microscope. What you thought was just a gob of sticky goo is actually a metropolis of biological activity. It’s like looking down at New York City during rush hour, only with sperm instead of Taxi cabs. Here’s how you do it:
Materials: You’ll need access to a microscope that has 100x and 400x magnifications, a microscope slide and coverslips, and a human male with a hard-on. Make sure the microscope has a good light and that you can focus on the edge of a coverslip that’s on a glass slide.
Producing the Sample: This is the funnest part! If you don’t know how to produce semen in the bottom of a glass, there are plenty of chapters in this book that can help. If you need lube, only use saliva. Most commercial lubricants do evil things to sperm.
Timing: You’ll want to have the semen under the microscope within 60 to 90 minutes after it is produced.
The Container: As you might recall from the start of this chapter, semen doesn’t squirt out pre-mixed. So you’ll need to collect the entire ejaculation in the same container. If you don’t, you might not be collecting the squirts that have sperm. Be sure to use a container large enough to fit the head of the penis into while it splooges. Do not collect the specimen in a condom unless it’s a condom made from polyurethane and has no lube inside. The materials in most condoms are not sperm friendly.
The Semen: While it tends to come out thick, your semen will liquefy within 15 to 20 minutes—so much that it will become almost as thin as water. After it has liquefied, give it a close look with your naked eyes. According to our sperm consultant: “If it is clear (transparent), the sperm count is probably low. If it is cloudy but you can see through it (translucent), it is a medium sperm count. If it is creamy white or yellowish and you cannot see through it, it is probably a fairly high sperm count. This is not a measure of fertility, just something interesting. Besides, it only takes one sperm for paternity, and the number of sperm depends on many things, including how often you ejaculate, if you’ve been in hot tubs or hot baths, what medications you are taking, etc.”
The Temperature: Keep your specimen
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