The Glister by John Burnside Page B

reading from the book. “Attacking is a primary factor. A fight was never won by defensive action. Attack with all of your strength. At any point or any situation, some vulnerable point on your enemy's body will be open for attack.” He flicked the page, then went on. He'd obviously been reading this for a while. “This bit is good,” he said. “There are many vulnerable points of the body. We will cover them now: Eyes: Use your fingers in a V-shape and attack in gouging motion. Nose: (Extremely vulnerable) Strike with the knife-edge of the hand along the bridge, which will cause breakage, sharp pain, temporary blindness, and if the blow is hard enough, death. Also, deliver a blow with the heel of your hand in an upward motion, this will shove the bone up into the brain causing death. Adam's Apple: This spot is usually pretty well protected, but if you get the chance, strike hard with the knife-edge of your hand. This should sever the wind-pipe, and then it's all over in a matter of minutes.” He grinned at me. “Et cetera, et cetera,” he said. “Isn't it fantastic?”
    “Why's that then?” I say.
    He looked at me. “This book teaches you how to kill and maim people,” he said. “I mean, at last a book that is actually useful.” He quoted again. “Ears: Coming up from behind an enemy and cupping the hands in a clapping motion over the victim's ears can kill him immediately. The vibrations caused from the clapping motion will burst his eardrums, and cause internal bleeding in the brain.” He genuinely was excited. “I didn't know that,” he said. “Did you know that, Leonard?”
    I didn't say anything. I hadn't realized John had such a deep and abiding interest in fucking people up.
    “Here's a good bit,” he said. “Listen: There are many more ways to kill and injure an enemy, but these should work best for the average person. This is meant only as information and I would not recommend that you use this for a simple High School Brawl. Use these methods only, in your opinion, if your life is in danger. Any one of these methods could very easily kill or cause permanent damage to someone. ” He was so happy. “This guy tells you how to kill people, and then he tells you not to do it.”
    “Well,” I said, “that's very responsible of him.”
    John snorted. “Hell, that's not going to make any difference,” he said. “Once you've got stuff like this at your fingertips, you're going to use it, right?”
    “I don't know,” I said. “Who are you going to use it on?”
    He laughed. “Well,” he said, “I've started a list. I'm up to twenty-seven now.”
    “Am I on it?”
    John looked hurt. “Why would I want to kill you, Leonard?” he said. “I mean, you of all people. The one other bibliophile in town?”
    “Edmund Hillary,” I said. I felt a bit grim, to be honest.
    “Edmund Hillary?” He looked puzzled.
    “Because I'm there,” I said. Of course I knew that it doesn't matter what you read in a book, because you have to have the will to kill somebody to actually do it and you can't read up on will. It doesn't matter what techniques you master, you actually have to be prepared to do it. The surprising thing about most people, considering how much we all hate one another, is that they're not prepared for that. They fantasize about it all the time, but they couldn't do it. At some unspoken level, that fact defines everything that happens between us. It's that simple. Even in the most law-abiding place, what makes the difference is that one man is capable of killing and another isn't. You put those two men in the same room, and it doesn't matter what else comes into play. It's the difference between giving a shit and not. No matter how bad things get, most people still care about something. That's what makes them so fucking sad, and that's what makes them beautiful. Still, I don't say any of this to John. I just wait for his answer.
    “I'd never kill you, Leonard,” he said. He looked