up and there was no mistaking the face even at that
distance, although she looked a thousand times prettier than she
did in uniform. If her white cotton frock printed all over with
maple leaves in all the colours of fall didn’t raise eyebrows, her
long, open hair with just a white elastic band to keep it in place
would. But for her pink Nike running shoes, she had come dressed
like Barbie and I had second thoughts about acknowledging her in
front of the guard.
“Hi, nobody
around today,” I said aloud and hurriedly to let the guard know our
being there together was just a coincidence. She caught on and
played along nicely. “What a shame! It’s perfect weather to go
running in,” she said. But I was thinking about her frock. It
didn’t look divided to me and I wondered whether she wore her
running shorts underneath it.
“I am going to
the gym,” I said, “if you need a ball or something, just come along
and take it”.
I tried to play
cool and walked swinging my arms loosely, but her shoulders were
again hunched and her thumbs were pressed between middle and
forefingers, I noticed. I was a regular at the gym so I knew the
door key among the half a dozen in the bunch, but I struggled to
open the lock with it. Being alone with her in that long, dark
corridor where even the guard wouldn’t come looking for another
hour at least gave me goosebumps. It was a vague sort of high, half
dread and half longing.
We entered the
hall slowly, properly as though watched by a thousand eyes, and
then I shut the door behind me slowly, noiselessly, and leaned back
on it. She stood to one side with her shoulders hunched and head
bowed, staring fixedly at her shoes while I searched for the right
opening. Whatever lines I had rehearsed in my mind all afternoon
had fallen through some trapdoor the moment I shut the door. I had
to say something because I knew she couldn’t, and if I didn’t
within the minute or two, it would be all over between us as guilt
would overpower whatever new, youthful yearning had arisen inside
her.
I extended my
right hand and said the lamest thing I could think of: “So, after a
year”. She took it diffidently but happily with a “Yeah”. My heart
was beating so hard, I could feel my temples throb. I had to break
her reserve quickly. “So, shall we kiss?” I said, smiling to make
it sound like a joke, but unsure whether she had heard me at all.
She didn’t say or do anything at all, so I took it she meant
‘yes’.
Keeping one
hand on the door I moved towards her lips but suddenly changed
course and went for the right cheek instead. It was a babyish kiss
but I knew a lip-lock would have been a disaster. Neither of us
knew how to do it. At least now I had started without embarrassing
myself.
We were both
grinning and stood holding hands. I almost loved her then. There
were things I wanted to do to her, but knew not how. It didn’t
occur to me to ask her whether she had something in mind as
well.
She reached
into a pocket and pulled out two chocolate toffees in dark,
unfamiliar wrappers. “For you,” she said. They were big and almost
perfect spheres. And they were still cold to the touch. She had
taken them out of the refrigerator just before starting. I opened
one and it was a dollop of luscious, dark chocolate that melted in
the mouth and flowed like a viscous coat of paint over my tongue
and down the throat. Her father had brought a packet of them from a
business trip to Kenya.
I remembered
about the ball then, and hurriedly sent her off to the basketball
court to keep the guard from getting suspicious about us. “See you
in half an hour,” I said shutting the door softly behind her.
***
I used to shut
and latch the door while working out to keep the irregulars away,
but that evening I didn’t raise the latch. The gym had not been
cleaned all through summer and there was a thick coat of dust on
all the covers. My heart wasn’t in the workout so I swung a pair of
light dumbbells
distance, although she looked a thousand times prettier than she
did in uniform. If her white cotton frock printed all over with
maple leaves in all the colours of fall didn’t raise eyebrows, her
long, open hair with just a white elastic band to keep it in place
would. But for her pink Nike running shoes, she had come dressed
like Barbie and I had second thoughts about acknowledging her in
front of the guard.
“Hi, nobody
around today,” I said aloud and hurriedly to let the guard know our
being there together was just a coincidence. She caught on and
played along nicely. “What a shame! It’s perfect weather to go
running in,” she said. But I was thinking about her frock. It
didn’t look divided to me and I wondered whether she wore her
running shorts underneath it.
“I am going to
the gym,” I said, “if you need a ball or something, just come along
and take it”.
I tried to play
cool and walked swinging my arms loosely, but her shoulders were
again hunched and her thumbs were pressed between middle and
forefingers, I noticed. I was a regular at the gym so I knew the
door key among the half a dozen in the bunch, but I struggled to
open the lock with it. Being alone with her in that long, dark
corridor where even the guard wouldn’t come looking for another
hour at least gave me goosebumps. It was a vague sort of high, half
dread and half longing.
We entered the
hall slowly, properly as though watched by a thousand eyes, and
then I shut the door behind me slowly, noiselessly, and leaned back
on it. She stood to one side with her shoulders hunched and head
bowed, staring fixedly at her shoes while I searched for the right
opening. Whatever lines I had rehearsed in my mind all afternoon
had fallen through some trapdoor the moment I shut the door. I had
to say something because I knew she couldn’t, and if I didn’t
within the minute or two, it would be all over between us as guilt
would overpower whatever new, youthful yearning had arisen inside
her.
I extended my
right hand and said the lamest thing I could think of: “So, after a
year”. She took it diffidently but happily with a “Yeah”. My heart
was beating so hard, I could feel my temples throb. I had to break
her reserve quickly. “So, shall we kiss?” I said, smiling to make
it sound like a joke, but unsure whether she had heard me at all.
She didn’t say or do anything at all, so I took it she meant
‘yes’.
Keeping one
hand on the door I moved towards her lips but suddenly changed
course and went for the right cheek instead. It was a babyish kiss
but I knew a lip-lock would have been a disaster. Neither of us
knew how to do it. At least now I had started without embarrassing
myself.
We were both
grinning and stood holding hands. I almost loved her then. There
were things I wanted to do to her, but knew not how. It didn’t
occur to me to ask her whether she had something in mind as
well.
She reached
into a pocket and pulled out two chocolate toffees in dark,
unfamiliar wrappers. “For you,” she said. They were big and almost
perfect spheres. And they were still cold to the touch. She had
taken them out of the refrigerator just before starting. I opened
one and it was a dollop of luscious, dark chocolate that melted in
the mouth and flowed like a viscous coat of paint over my tongue
and down the throat. Her father had brought a packet of them from a
business trip to Kenya.
I remembered
about the ball then, and hurriedly sent her off to the basketball
court to keep the guard from getting suspicious about us. “See you
in half an hour,” I said shutting the door softly behind her.
***
I used to shut
and latch the door while working out to keep the irregulars away,
but that evening I didn’t raise the latch. The gym had not been
cleaned all through summer and there was a thick coat of dust on
all the covers. My heart wasn’t in the workout so I swung a pair of
light dumbbells
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