matter. Because it
was never complete. Not even close to complete. I’ve never felt about any girl
the way I feel about you. You’re different from every girl I’ve ever been with,
Kaley.”
Before I can rally a response, his arms slip
around me, pulling me close and he’s bending low to kiss me. His mouth is
urgent and bruising on mine, not gentle and moving with me in a perfectly
matching flow, the way we kiss when we’re fucking each other with our tongues.
His tongue sweeps through my mouth as one hand
runs up the side of my face, and then his fingers in my hair clutch the back of
my head.
He pulls away, breathless, his lips against my
ear. “But I’m into limits and you’re into control and sometimes you make it
fucking nearly impossible to be the guy I want to be with you. You think we’re
here because you’ve decided it’s time we should fuck. You have no idea
how much I want to. How fucking out of my mind you get me. How many times a day
I jerk off thinking about you and what it’s going to be like when we’re finally
together. But I didn’t bring you here to fuck you.”
What?
I step back from him, but the fence stops me.
I cross my arms, humiliated and confused. “Then
what was all that nonsense about not going back to school today if we go into
your bedroom?”
“I don’t want our first time together to be in my
bedroom. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend as much time alone with you as
I can. Maybe push up against the limits until the time is right for both of us
to make love.”
I stare at him, my mouth dropping, frustrated in
every way, not just my body. “Right time? You had a pretty fucking nice
erection five minutes ago and I was pretty fucking ready to do this. It doesn’t
get more right time than that. I’ve already let you know that I want to.”
“We’re not doing it today. I can
tell, Kaley, that you haven’t gone all the way before. But here’s a news flash.
I haven’t either. I’ve done a lot of things—two people can get off in a lot of
ways together without fucking—but I’ve never fucked a girl because I wanted my
first time to mean something. I wanted it to be with someone I love. But I also
wanted it to mean something to the girl I shared it with.”
I stare at him, stunned.
“You’ve never had sex before?” I ask, unable to
hide how floored I am by this admission.
This time he steps back from me, raking his
fingers through his hair. “Not completely. I want the milestones of my life to mean
something. Not just be something I do, move on, and forgot about. I want my
first time to be with someone I can see in my life long-term. I want it with a
girl I love. I want it with you. I’ve never believed in anything the way I
believe in the possibility of us.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth he’s
completely discomposed. He looks both nervous and embarrassed—the vision he
makes melts my heart and douses my temper. My tough, extreme sports, hot surfer
boy all sensitively heavy, laying bare his soft underside.
I lift my hand and stroke his cheek. “That’s
about the sweetest thing any guy has ever said to me.”
He stares down at the ground, shoving his hands
deep into his pockets. “There is only a handful of moments in everyone’s life
that really matter. Not enough of them to waste.”
My eyes scroll over his features, taking in
everything written there that Bobby hasn’t said. We’ve talked about him being
adopted and he denies that it matters to him… but oh, Bobby, you are wrong. It’s why you are so careful about the people you care about. You need things
to matter because a piece of you is incomplete like me, but unlike me, you
can’t get that part of you back.
My eyes widen. “So if you’re not going to do me,
why are we here?”
He looks up, laughing in a rough, half-frustrated
and half-amused sort of humor. I can tell by the way he’s studying me that if I
kiss him, he’d let me, this would be over and we’d be on
was never complete. Not even close to complete. I’ve never felt about any girl
the way I feel about you. You’re different from every girl I’ve ever been with,
Kaley.”
Before I can rally a response, his arms slip
around me, pulling me close and he’s bending low to kiss me. His mouth is
urgent and bruising on mine, not gentle and moving with me in a perfectly
matching flow, the way we kiss when we’re fucking each other with our tongues.
His tongue sweeps through my mouth as one hand
runs up the side of my face, and then his fingers in my hair clutch the back of
my head.
He pulls away, breathless, his lips against my
ear. “But I’m into limits and you’re into control and sometimes you make it
fucking nearly impossible to be the guy I want to be with you. You think we’re
here because you’ve decided it’s time we should fuck. You have no idea
how much I want to. How fucking out of my mind you get me. How many times a day
I jerk off thinking about you and what it’s going to be like when we’re finally
together. But I didn’t bring you here to fuck you.”
What?
I step back from him, but the fence stops me.
I cross my arms, humiliated and confused. “Then
what was all that nonsense about not going back to school today if we go into
your bedroom?”
“I don’t want our first time together to be in my
bedroom. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend as much time alone with you as
I can. Maybe push up against the limits until the time is right for both of us
to make love.”
I stare at him, my mouth dropping, frustrated in
every way, not just my body. “Right time? You had a pretty fucking nice
erection five minutes ago and I was pretty fucking ready to do this. It doesn’t
get more right time than that. I’ve already let you know that I want to.”
“We’re not doing it today. I can
tell, Kaley, that you haven’t gone all the way before. But here’s a news flash.
I haven’t either. I’ve done a lot of things—two people can get off in a lot of
ways together without fucking—but I’ve never fucked a girl because I wanted my
first time to mean something. I wanted it to be with someone I love. But I also
wanted it to mean something to the girl I shared it with.”
I stare at him, stunned.
“You’ve never had sex before?” I ask, unable to
hide how floored I am by this admission.
This time he steps back from me, raking his
fingers through his hair. “Not completely. I want the milestones of my life to mean
something. Not just be something I do, move on, and forgot about. I want my
first time to be with someone I can see in my life long-term. I want it with a
girl I love. I want it with you. I’ve never believed in anything the way I
believe in the possibility of us.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth he’s
completely discomposed. He looks both nervous and embarrassed—the vision he
makes melts my heart and douses my temper. My tough, extreme sports, hot surfer
boy all sensitively heavy, laying bare his soft underside.
I lift my hand and stroke his cheek. “That’s
about the sweetest thing any guy has ever said to me.”
He stares down at the ground, shoving his hands
deep into his pockets. “There is only a handful of moments in everyone’s life
that really matter. Not enough of them to waste.”
My eyes scroll over his features, taking in
everything written there that Bobby hasn’t said. We’ve talked about him being
adopted and he denies that it matters to him… but oh, Bobby, you are wrong. It’s why you are so careful about the people you care about. You need things
to matter because a piece of you is incomplete like me, but unlike me, you
can’t get that part of you back.
My eyes widen. “So if you’re not going to do me,
why are we here?”
He looks up, laughing in a rough, half-frustrated
and half-amused sort of humor. I can tell by the way he’s studying me that if I
kiss him, he’d let me, this would be over and we’d be on
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